Chapter Fourteen
Eric
I have so much to be grateful for—and so much to worry about.
I clasp Ivy’s hand and reach across the table for Will’s. I clear my throat. It’s been a while since I’ve said grace. This is the first year I’m sitting at the head of the table, leading ‘my family’ in prayer. I guess I have to count Will among my family now that Ivy asked him to be the baby’s godfather. I just hope he moves out and gets his own place before the christening because he’s driving me crazy.
But I have to admit that he was a big help in putting this meal together. I know how to cook a few basic things like boiling pasta and grilling steaks, but I’m clueless when it comes to roasting a turkey. And since Ivy’s dorm room culinary skills haven’t advanced beyond nuking a container of ramen noodles, we’d probably be eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches right now if not for Will.
But it sucks not getting to spend the day with my parents. It seems strange that I’m not sprawled on their couch, watching football after overindulging in the huge spread my mom always puts out. I called her before to wish her a happy Thanksgiving, and she sounded really bummed that we weren’t coming over. My dad is sure to fall asleep as soon as they’re done eating, and she’ll be left puttering around the house by herself with nothing to do. That’s why I left Shep over there—so she wouldn’t be completely alone. I urged her to stop by later, but she didn’t want to cause any waves. She’s still waiting for my dad to get over it and start talking to me again, but so far he hasn’t budged.
He’s come into work on the days he’s been scheduled, but he usually just grunts whenever I say something to him, preferring to chat with Ben or even Will. He’s really steamed over what I did to Tim. He thinks I shouldn’t have gone over there, that it’s all my fault. But he couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t think he would’ve just cooled his heels if he thought Mom was in trouble. If he had been placed in that situation, he would’ve done the same exact thing.
But I’m not surprised by the way he’s acting. All my life, he’s taken Tim’s side over mine, no matter what we happened to be arguing about. In his eyes, Tim’s always right and I’m always wrong. Even now that we’re both adults, my dad still won’t hear me out or give me a chance to explain. He saw what I’d done to Tim’s eye and the wall immediately went up. He certainly didn’t waste any time shutting me out.
I think my tendency toward violence scares him. He’s seen me at my worst, and he probably fears what I’m capable of. But if we’re being honest, Tim’s the one who whooped my ass, not the other way around. He definitely held his own, like he always does. He’s no wuss. He never was. So I don’t know what my dad’s so worried about. I’m the one who nearly lost consciousness after Tim started strangling me.
If I really had to analyze it, it probably has something to do with the baby that’s on the way. Things are getting real. I can’t go through life like a loose cannon anymore. I can’t keep going off on people. I’m going to have to contain my emotions when they start bubbling over. I have to set a good example for my child. Fighting doesn’t solve anything. It only causes more problems.
I’ve always been a brawler, the guy with a reputation for having a quick temper. It doesn’t take much to light my fuse. Yeah, I have anger issues, but I think over the past year I’ve gotten better. Ivy’s helped me a lot. She’s steadied me, grounded me. Cassidy and I used to fight all the time because her parents were constantly butting into our relationship and it drove me up a wall. At least Ivy knows her own mind. No one tells her what to do or what to believe. She thinks for herself. She doesn’t let other people influence her. She makes her own decisions. That’s why we get along so well. I know I’m always dealing with her, not someone else speaking through her. No one is force-feeding their ideas down her throat. What she says is what she means. Half the time with Cassidy, I didn’t know if I was talking to her or her parents. She’d simply repeat their words verbatim and claim them as her own.
But Cassidy never possessed the confidence Ivy has in spades. She was always the meek, dutiful daughter to a T. She never wanted to upset her parents, but she had no problem pushing my buttons. First, she wouldn’t date me. After that, she’d kiss me but wouldn’t make out with me. Then, she wouldn’t sleep with me. I was patient. I waited. But with every step in our relationship, she let her parents throw up another roadblock.