“I’m sure,” I insist, feeling a sudden twinge of trepidation.
“All right, fine. If it’ll make you feel better, I’m willing to bare my soul.” He stretches out on the floor, crossing his arms behind his head and extending his legs. After getting comfortable, he shuts his eyes and groans like he’s been colluded into telling a long and involved bedtime story to a precocious toddler up past her bedtime.
For some reason, I want to be as close to him as I can. So I get off the chair and sit on the floor with him, dragging a pillow off the couch for my back. He’s been resisting me at every turn, but I think he took pity on me when he saw how much Eric let me down today. It seems like he’s been disappointed in love, too. I think it’s that sense of brokenness we recognize in each other. All those pesky ‘might have beens’ that never go away.
Tim listens to the crackle and pop of the fireplace as I settle in next to him and tug the oversized sweatshirt over my knees. I watch the outlines of the flames dance across his face. He really is handsome. His chiseled features are more classically defined than Eric’s rugged good looks. Where Eric is all man, Tim is more regal, like Eric’s the strapping warrior sent off to battle and Tim’s the crowned prince issuing decrees from the throne.
But I can see why they must’ve been friends. Eric’s a man of action. He likes to get things done. He’s passionate and intense, his whims dictated by his mood. Whereas Tim is more of a thinker. He likes to sit back and examine a problem. He’s not the type to barge in, guns blazing. He’d rather deliberate and figure out a strategy best suited to everyone involved.
Tim must have reined Eric in a lot. The idea of taking a moment to pause and reflect isn’t one of Eric’s strong suits. I’m sure having a friend like Tim kept Eric out of plenty of scrapes when they were growing up.
It makes me wonder if Tim knew in the back of his mind that Eric wouldn’t show up today. That he’d let his anger get in the way of his feelings for me. Is that why Tim was so determined to tag along and sit in the waiting room?
“Okay, where do I begin?” Tim asks blandly.
“How about right around when Cassidy figured out you were in love with her?” I take a stab in the dark, lowering my chin onto my knees as I stare intently at his profile.
My response catches Tim off guard and his eyes snap open. But he doesn’t sit up. He contemplates my words, rolling them over in his mind.
“You’re a very perceptive person, Ivy Thompson,” he says with grudging respect. “But to put your mind at ease, she didn’t love me back. At least, not in the way I wanted her to. Her heart always belonged to Eric.”
I have so many questions I want to ask, but I hold my tongue. This has to be a painful topic for him to discuss. I think back on those brief hours at the gala when I thought Eric was into Lauren. I remember how much it hurt to find out that I wasn’t the one he wanted. That he was attracted to a woman I couldn’t stand. So I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for Tim to be best friends with the guy who swept Cassidy off her feet, a guy he admired. It must have been torture.
“All three of us hung out together as kids. We’d meet up to go fishing. We’d ride our bikes into town. We’d camp out under the stars. We were like the three amigos, practically inseparable. I considered myself lucky to have two best friends.” A smile tugs at the corners of Tim’s mouth as he thinks back on the good times they shared.
“But?” I prompt as I bite my fingernail, not sure if I want to hear where this is going.
“Well, we entered high school, and things changed. Turns out, it’s not that easy for a guy and a girl to remain friends,” Tim grunts, the smile vanishing from his face.
“Yeah. Tell me about it,” I respond sarcastically as some unbidden memories of Ryan pop into my head—ones I’d rather forget.
“Cassidy and Eric started pulling away from me, little by little. They’d do stuff without me. Then, when they did invite me to tag along, I’d feel like a third wheel. They weren’t doing it intentionally, but there was just an awkwardness that wasn’t there before.” Tim swallows hard. “I confronted Eric about it at the beginning of our sophomore year. I asked him if they were dating and he said no but he was planning on asking her out. He wanted to know if I was all right with that. And of course I lied and said that I was.”
“Why’d you do that?” I blurt out unintentionally.
“C’mon, Ivy. I wasn’t blind. I could see the way she looked at Eric with stars in her eyes. Trust me. She never looked at me like that.” He clenches his jaw, running a hand across his forehead. “I think Eric suspected that I had feelings for her too, but I wasn’t going to cause a war over it. She was already his. She was always his.”