His to Protect: A Fireside Novel(9)

Would I ever stop being so afraid all the time?



A shiver rolled through me when the quiet latch of the sliding door disengaged and opened.

I sensed Declan step outside and felt his body lower down until he was crouched low, next to me.

When I turned my neck, resting my cheek on my knees, he was squatting down, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, looking out at the yard where Boomer was trying to catch the bugs that flew near the solar lights around the fire pit area.

“I made a fool of myself in there.”

He said nothing, just watched my dog with a blank expression. The only indication he heard me was a slight tic in his jaw.

“It’s just a dog, Trina. And it was just an accident. No harm done.”

I thought of how I must have looked when I shoved Declan’s hand off Boomer’s neck, crazed about my animal because someone touched him. “I’ll leave if you want. You were kind to give me a place to crash, but I don’t know you or your friends, and it’s probably not smart”

Without looking at me, Declan interrupted. “I’m going to be straight with you.”

I flinched and pushed myself to my feet. Declan mirrored my movement, taking a step to the side and putting that distance between us that I appreciated.

Was he aware he always seemed to give me more personal space than should be necessary?

“I’ve gathered from the faint tan line on your ring finger there”he stopped and pointed to my left hand“that you’re either married or very recently separated. I’m also guessing that the asshole who put that ring on your finger is responsible for the bruise on your cheek, and I’m willing to bet it wasn’t the first time he did that. But because of that, you need to know that I have never…would never…raise my hand to a woman or an animal. Especially over something as pointless as a dog being a dog, which means he might do something stupid. I wouldn’t do that, and my friends wouldn’t do that.

“I also wasn’t bullshitting you when I said you’re safe here, so if you want to fucking leave, I can’t stop you. But don’t do it because you’re afraid of being in these walls.

“Now, I’m going to go blow shit up with Derrick on the PS4. You’re welcome to join us or watch. If not, you can go take a bath or a shower and relax, or do whatever the hell else it is you do when you want to just chill out.”

Chill out.

I couldn’t remember the last time I did that.

And a bath sounded heavenly.

Still, I found myself saying none of that. Instead, my mouth moved before my brain could catch up and I blurted, “You swear a lot.”

My mouth dropped open, awareness that I’d just corrected him hitting me. Kevin wouldn’t stand for that, and I stepped back, bracing myself, when Declan smiled. If he saw me flinch, he chose to ignore it.

“Yeah, babe, I do. Probably a fuck of a lot more than I should, but I gotta be honest. If my mom hasn’t broken me, my brother, or my dad of that habit since the day I was born, the chances of it stopping now are about zero.”

He winked, and something warm blanketed my skin.

He was teasing me, or taking the time to explain something, and he had a point. I learned the hard way men didn’t change no matter how badly you wanted them to.

Still, I had another brain-to-mouth malfunction when I suggested, “You could start a swear jar. Especially when Derrick is here, since even Aidan says he doesn’t want you cursing around him.”

He threw his head back and laughed.

The sound was rich and deep, and that warm blanket wrapped around my skin, heating me further, in a way I hadn’t experienced in possibly ever. I looked away, afraid he’d see me blushing. He just shook his head and walked away.

“You want to start me a swear jar while you’re here, go for it. I’ll do one better,” he said and looked at me over his shoulder in the doorway. The light from inside the house hit his face, making him seem bright. “All the money you collect, you can take with you when you fucking leave.”

My lips twitched when I realized what he’d done. “That will cost you a dollar.”

“No shit?”

“That’s two,” I whispered, feeling my lips stretch in a smile. It was genuine and real and felt foreign on my own skin.

“Well, hell,” he said and turned to walk away. “I’ll need to hit the damn ATM tomorrow.”

He gave me one last look as my smile grew.

“Those aren’t really so bad,” I told him, knowing exactly what he was doing. He was finding a way to give me money without me having to ask…which I wouldn’t, anyway. “Is Aidan gone?”

“Yeah. Derrick will take the couch tonight, which works because we’ll be up late playing games. Like I said, you can join us or not, whatever you’re comfortable with. Aidan will be here tomorrow around nine to pick him up.”

He stepped inside, closing the sliding door behind him, once again giving me space.

I turned back to Boomer and looked up at the dark sky that held the slightest haze of clouds. I wondered what my life would have been like if I had seen Kevin for the kind of man he truly was before we were married.

Would I have been able to have a man that seemed as kind as Declan, willing to hang out with his friend’s teenage son while the dad went out on a date? Would I have had the small but warm house that felt cozy and lived in, instead of massive and sterile like mine?

I felt like I’d lost my time. I would never know, because there was no way I would ever truly be free of Kevin.

He would never grant me a divorce, regardless of where I ended up.

At least not without a fight, and he had the resources to make that fight nearly impossible for me to win.

Which left only one optionI had to figure out a way to get myself someplace safe, where he couldn’t find me…

And figure out a way to live the rest of my life alone, knowing I’d lost out on the dreams I’d had since I was a little girl.



I sat up with a start and my hand flew to my chest. My heart beat erratically against my mostly healed ribs. There was only a slight pain from the sudden movement as my eyes took in the strange room.

I wasn’t in my bedroom. I wasn’t in the hotel. I was in a bed that was at least a thousand times more comfortable than that ratty, lumpy mattress.

After taking several breaths, I remembered where I was.

Declan’s house. He was essentially a stranger with a wicked scowl and large muscles, but with a kind voice, which I figured could sometimes be scary too, if he wanted it to be.

Not that I had seen or heard that.

With my heart rate slowing, I tried to remember the dream that caused me to wake up so abruptly. As I tried to grasp it, I came up short.

I was left with the lingering sensation of fear, and an echo of a woman’s voice screaming “Never again!” but that was all I could recall.

It took me several more moments to realize Boomer was no longer in the room with me, even though the door was still closed. I also caught a quick whiff of bacon, and heard masculine voices downstairs.

I didn’t know whether to be scared that someone had been in my room and took Boomer out, or grateful that for the first time in a week, I didn’t wake up to my dog licking me to consciousness.

Digging through my bag, I pulled on a pair of pink-and-blue pajama pants and threw a baggy but comfortable sweatshirt on over the pink cami top I slept in.

After using the restroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I headed downstairs, walking slowly and focusing on the noises coming from the kitchen.

“She’s pretty, though,” I heard Derrick say. My feet paused before I turned the corner into the kitchen.

There was a clink of silverware before Declan replied, “She’s a friend and in trouble. I’m just helping.”

“Yeah, but my dad says you haven’t been out since Mara left, and now you got a hot chick in your house.”

Before Declan could respond to that, I hurried into the kitchen, hoping that my cheeks weren’t as flushed as they felt. “Good morning!” I chirped, and glanced around for the coffeemaker.

“Hey,” Declan said from his chair at a small two-person table in the tiny eating area.

He shot Derrick a quick glare, and I watched as the young teenager shoveled his mouth full of eggs before he grunted a hello in my direction.

I shook off the unease of the conversation they were having and asked, “Do you have any coffee?”

“You bet.” Declan pushed back from the table and walked the short distance to a corner I hadn’t been able to see from the doorway. When he turned around, he handed me a simple black mug and stepped back. “There’s more bacon in the pan on the counter,” he said, gesturing toward the stove. “Do you take cream or sugar?”

“Black is fine,” I muttered, still not fully awake. “Where’s Boomer?” I asked when I saw two bowls on the floor by the fridge, one filled with water.

A strange warmth fluttered in my chest as I realized Declan had fed and taken care of Boomer, something Kevin never did, and made clear he never would. If I wanted to bring the damn dog into the house with me when we were married, he wasn’t doing a damn thing to take care of it. His words, not mine.

“Outside,” Declan said as he sat back down at the table. “He was whining when he heard me up this morning, so I let him out so you could sleep. Figured you needed it.”