Lauren nodded. ‘I can understand why. I love it here. And I love picnics. I always seem to eat twice as much when I’m out in the fresh air,’ she said ruefully as she bit into another smoked salmon sandwich. ‘I must admit I prefer meals like this much more than the formal dinners we have at the castle, with the butler and a dozen servants in attendance—even for just the two of us.’
Ramon frowned at her outburst. ‘It has always been the tradition for the Duque and Duquesa to dine in the great hall. Even when my sisters and I were little my parents insisted that we should dress for dinner each evening, and we were expected to sit through five courses and make polite conversation without fidgeting or appearing bored.’
‘Do you mean that you never ate pizza in front of the TV? Or invited a few friends round and slung steaks on the barbecue?’ Lauren said in astonishment.
‘Certainly not. I was brought up always to be aware of my position and to act accordingly.’
She grimaced. ‘No wonder you looked shocked when you caught me eating ice-cream out of the tub at your apartment in London—and when I ordered Chinese takeaway and insisted that we picnicked on the living room floor. What on earth did you think of me?’ she muttered, blushing at the memory.
She doubted Pilar Fernandez would experiment with chopsticks to eat sweet-and-sour chicken balls, and dribble the sauce down her chin. It emphasised yet again that she did not belong in Ramon’s world, Lauren thought dismally.
‘I thought you were fun,’ he told her, smiling when she stared at him in surprise. ‘I’d never met anyone like you before. You liked to do crazy things, like walking in the rain, and cooking bacon sandwiches after we had made love for hours and were starving.’
‘Don’t remind me,’ she groaned.
‘I could relax with you,’ Ramon said quietly.
He hadn’t realised how much he had enjoyed being with her until she had ended their affair and he had returned to Spain soon after, to help care for his dying father.
‘I loved my parents, but my childhood was restrictive,’ he admitted. ‘I was brought up mainly by my governess, and I only saw my father for an hour each evening, when I was summoned to his study so that he could tell me about my ancestors, and the history of the castle, and instruct me on the duties I would one day take on when I became the Duque de Velaquez.’
‘Did you want to be a duque?’ Lauren asked curiously, trying to imagine him as a little boy, perhaps not many years older than Matty, being taught the responsibilities that lay ahead of him.
Ramon hesitated. It had been impressed on him by his father that a duque should be strong and in control of his emotions. From a young age he had understood that he must never cry—even when he had been thrown from his horse and had broken his arm. The lessons of his childhood were deeply ingrained, and he did not find it easy to confide his thoughts and feelings. But Lauren was his wife, and he realised that for their marriage to stand a chance he must now learn to open up a little.
Ramon’s sudden grin reminded Lauren of the relaxed, carefree lover she’d had a passionate affair with eighteen—no, nineteen months ago. ‘Actually, I wanted to be an astronaut,’ he told her, laughing when she gave him a disbelieving look. ‘I had a passion for science—especially physics, which I studied at university. After I completed my Masters degree I was offered the opportunity to study with the American Space Agency.’
Lauren’s eyes widened. ‘Did you take it? Why ever not?’ she demanded when he shook his head.
‘I couldn’t,’ he said with a shrug. ‘I was the only son and heir of the Duque de Velaquez and I always knew that my life was to be at the castle, running the winery and the estate, and heading other Velaquez business interests.’
‘So you sacrificed your dream for duty,’ Lauren said slowly.
Ramon’s strong sense of duty must have been ingrained in him as soon as he had been old enough to understand his family’s noble heritage, she realised. And as the only son he had grown up knowing that he must marry—not necessarily for love. He must choose a woman with a similar noble pedigree to provide the next Velaquez heir.
It was small wonder he had never considered that an affair with his English mistress could ever lead to a deeper relationship. Even if he had begun to care for her, as she had hoped at the time, she understood now that he would not have put what he wanted before his duty to his family—he would never have allowed himself to fall in love with her.
‘So, did you never come up here to the lodge with your father?’ she asked curiously.