His Ultimate Prize(14)

'I've obviously become a yardstick by which you measure your future clients. I consider it an honour.'

She rolled her eyes and found herself grinning when he laughed. Shaking  her head, she took another mouthful of her delicious shrimp pasta. 'I  knew you were trouble from day one.'

His laughter slowly disappeared. 'Sí,' he murmured. 'What did you call  me? A useless waste of space who was taking up valuable oxygen more  worthy human beings were entitled to?'

Her fork clattered onto her plate. 'You remember? Every single word?' she whispered.

His smile was sharp and deadly, the easy camaraderie from moments before  completely annihilated as the tension that had lurked solidified into a  palpable wall. 'What can I say, querida, you cut me to the bone.'

'Was that...was that why...?' She couldn't quite frame the words.

'Why I attempted to turn myself and my car into a Rubik's Cube the next  day? Ask me again when I remember anything from the accident.'

She shut her eyes for a brief second, a shudder of guilt and regret  raking over her. 'Please believe me, I don't usually lay into anyone  quite like that. That day...' She paused, unwilling to bare her whole  life to him. But then she realised she owed him an explanation of some  sort. 'It was a very difficult day.'

'In what way was it difficult?' he probed immediately.

'My mother called me the evening before the race, just before the team dinner where you-'

'When I dared to ask you out?' he asked.

Her gaze dropped as she felt a prickle behind her eyelids. 'Her  relationship with my father has always been...tempestuous.' That was  putting it mildly but she couldn't elaborate any further. 'When she  called, she was very upset... She has...moments like that. She wanted to  see him. Nothing I said would calm her down. So I called my father-the  father I haven't spoken to in years.'

Rafael's brow hitched up a fraction but he didn't interrupt her.

'He wouldn't lift a finger to help. He was too busy, he said. But I  could hear the sound of a party in the background. I swallowed my pride  and begged him. He refused. When I called my mother to try to explain,  her mood...escalated. I was trying to get her some help when you found  me and asked me to dinner.'

'So you attempted to slice the skin off my bones because of bad timing?'  His words were light but the chilling ice in his eyes told her he  hadn't forgiven her. 'What about the dozen times before then?'

She blew out a breath. 'I've just told you the effect my father has on  me and on my mother. Do you honestly think I'd ever want to associate  myself personally with a man who reminds me of every despicable trait I  witnessed growing up?'

'Watch it, piqueña,' he murmured softly. 'You didn't think I was despicable when we kissed this morning.'

A wave of heat crept up her face. 'That was a mistake.'

'Also, you may have claws, but I have teeth. Sharp ones and I'm heartless enough to use them.'

She didn't doubt it. For him to have succeeded in securing several  championships over the past decade, he had to have a ruthless streak  somewhere beneath the indolent playboy demeanour. Certainly, she'd seen  his dedication and absolute focus during the racing season.

'I'm sorry, Rafael. But I didn't really understand why you wanted to go  out with me. There were dozens more willing girls who would've jumped at  the chance to be with you.' If she were being honest, she still didn't  understand why he continued to try and goad her into bed. The only thing  she could think of was...no, it didn't make sense. 'I'm hardly your  Mount Everest.'

'You're not. Been there, done that.'

Her eyes fell to the jagged scar on his forearm. It might have been ugly  at one time but now it just blended into the frustratingly captivating  masterpiece that was Rafael de Cervantes. 'You've been to a lot of  places, done a lot of things.'

'You've been listening to gossip.'

'Before I came to work for you last year, the agency sent me a dossier  on you. Is it true that scar on your arm was from a bull goring you?'  She pounced on the change of subject all the more because here was her  chance to learn more about Rafael.

'Sí, and I thanked the bull for the unique, exhilarating experience.'

She suppressed a shudder. 'What is it exactly that you crave? The thrill of the chase? The rush of adrenaline?'

'It's conquering the fear of the unknown.'

His words were so stark, so raw, her breath caught in her lungs.

'What do you mean?'

'I don't like mysteries, querida. Take you, for instance. From the  moment we met, you held me at arm's length. No woman's ever done that,  not effectively anyway, and definitely not for as long as you have, and  this isn't arrogance talking. It's just never happened. You were an  enigma to me. I wanted to smash aside all your barriers. Instead you  built them up higher. You intrigued me to the point I couldn't see  anything beyond having you.'

She had never been able to explain the phenomenon of ice and heat that  filled her whenever she was in Rafael's presence. She couldn't explain  it now the sensation had increased a thousandfold. 'I don't know that I  want to be described that way. You make me sound like I'd become your  worst nightmare.'

'You had. I wanted to confront it. Turn it into a dream I liked.'

'God, Rafael. Do you hear how twisted that sounds?'

His laugh was nowhere near a normal sound. 'I'm sorry I don't fit your ideal of the right guy.'

'I'm not looking for a right guy. I'm not looking for a guy, period. I just want to do my job.'

'It's not just that though, is it?' He beckoned the waiter and ordered  an espresso for himself and a white coffee for her. 'You're here because  you want to do penance.'

'And you've been fighting me and trying to drive me away ever since I arrived.'

'If I'd wanted to be rid of you, I would've succeeded.'

'So you want me to stay?'

He shrugged. 'One of the many discoveries I made while stuck in a  hospital bed was this-I like being alone. But I don't like being alone  in León.'

She sensed the revelation behind the statement. 'Another of your nightmare scenarios?'

He didn't deny it. He just shrugged. 'Tell me more about your mother.'

'Tell me about yours.'

'She's dead.'

In what felt like mere seconds between one and the other, another  forceful blow punched through her middle at the stark announcement.  'How-?'

The word stuck in her throat when he shook his head and picked up his  newly delivered espresso. 'You're one of a handful of people outside of  my family circle I've disclosed that to. It's not a state secret, but  it's not a subject I wish to discuss either, so don't ask any more  questions. And yes, I know it's hypocritical of me to demand everything  from you and give nothing in return, but we both know I do what I like.  Your mother?'                       
       
           



       

She moistened her lips and tried to arrange her thoughts. 'For what it's  worth, I'm sorry about your mother.' She sucked in a deep breath and  slowly exhaled. All of a sudden, it wasn't so bad to reveal just that  little bit more. Because Rafael had shared something.

'Mine is alive but barely conscious half the time. You know why? Because  she's completely and utterly hung up on a man who can go for months,  sometimes years without giving her a single thought. And yet he only has  to crook his finger to have her falling into his lap. At least you know  your mother loved you. Do you know how devastating it is to find out  your own mother would gladly give you away for free if she could have  her one true obsession?'

'Is that why you lived with your father?'

'No. Aside from her obsession with my father, she was also diagnosed  with severe bipolar disorder when I was seven. For a few years she took  the prescribed medication, but as I got older, she would miss a few days  here and there. Then days would turn into weeks, then she would stop  altogether.'

His frown was thunderous. 'Did you not have any relatives that could step in?'

'None that wanted to add the burden of a pre-teen on top of the  responsibilities they already had. And, frankly, I felt I was better off  on my own. By ten I could take care of myself. Unfortunately, my mother  couldn't. One day she had an episode in a shop. The police were called.  Social services got involved. Eventually they tracked down my father  and threatened to report him to the authorities when he wouldn't step  up.' Bitterness made her throat raw. 'They made him take me. And you  know what? Every day until I turned eighteen I wished they hadn't.'

'Did he hurt you?' he rasped.

'Not at first. When I initially arrived at his doorstep, he didn't even  care enough to resent me for my sudden appearance in his life.' She  laughed. 'And he was rich enough that I had my every material need  catered for.'

'But?' he demanded.

Ice drenched her skin as the dark memory surged, its oily tentacles reaching for her.

A tinkle of laughter from a table nearby slammed her back into the  present. Chilled and exposed, she rubbed her hands over her arms. 'I  don't want to relive it, Rafael.'

His jaw tightened. 'It was that bad?'

'Worse.'