She laid her head against his chest and stroked Toby’s silky, black hair. “Can I rock him?”
“Sure.”
Toby went to her easily, and she settled in the recliner again. He brought her the bottle of formula and watched as she tested it. Thankfully, Toby took it without any more fussing.
“Seth, did Tamar leave you any means of contact? A phone number or e-mail?”
“There were papers in his diaper bag, including his birth certificate. That’s how I knew his name. She didn’t even bother to tell me his name, Jayne.” His disgust was directed at himself, that he’d spent time with Tamar, and had thought he’d loved such a self-centered creature.
Seth removed everything from the diaper bag. He found clothing, disposable diapers, cloth diapers, two changes of soiled clothing, meaning she’d recently left wherever she’d been staying, most likely Henri’s, if his assumption about Mimi was correct. The thought of his son being anywhere near that odious man’s influence sickened him. He recalled the trace of nervousness she’d shown in wanting to leave Toby behind. She’d been in a hurry, and he wondered if it wasn’t for another reason besides the taxi cab that had been waiting.
Seth retrieved Toby’s birth certificate, immunization records, and several other documents from the inner pocket of the diaper bag, along with a photograph of a familiar dark-haired woman he suspected was Mimi. Mimi Durand. On the back of the photograph was that name and short message scrawled in French and what looked like an e-mail address. What little French he knew, he hadn’t used in a long time and wouldn’t do him much good with the message. He needed to get it translated and contact her for details about the baby.
The bag had been packed with care, the inner pockets filled with over-the-counter medicines Toby might need, ointment for his rash, books, a few toys, and a sun hat. Seth owed Mimi a debt of gratitude because he had the distinct impression that the bag had been packed by someone who’d loved Toby very much. He knew that person hadn’t been Tamar. So why had she suddenly appeared on his doorstep?
“Is that her? The one he asks for?” she asked as she handed him the picture back.
“I think so. I’ll try to find out.”
Unfolding the other documents and reading them, Seth was equal parts shocked and relieved. There was a handwritten, notarized letter from Tamar, dated the day before, relinquishing all parental rights to Tobias, as well as an e-mail printout dated ten months prior from Tamar’s parents to her, cutting her off completely and clarifying that they had no interest in grandparental privileges to her illegitimate child. He read them to Jayne.
“At least she covered all her bases,” Jayne murmured as she stroked Toby’s head.
He looked at Toby again and wondered at how callous Tamar and her parents’ hearts were to do this. At the same time, he was grateful that he could expect no interference from them. For that matter, he felt grateful that she’d gone to the trouble of bringing Toby to him at all rather than abandoning him in France. One of the first things he planned to do was visit an attorney and have everything clarified.
“So…how are you doing?” Jayne whispered. An uncomfortable, unknown, almost scary feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Adrenaline would only take him so far. He knew he was ill-prepared for the transition that was coming.
“I feel lost.” He wasn’t afraid to admit that to Jayne. He never would’ve admitted that to Tamar. It wasn’t her business how he felt about all this. He worried that the little surprise on his doorstep this evening had been too much for Jayne. “Worried what this means, for me, for us.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Seth. You didn’t plan for this and you have a right to however you feel.”
“I’m angry, too. Was I that awful that she felt justified in keeping him from me? Then to just decide to show up on my doorstep and dump him, or threaten to abandon him somewhere else if I didn’t want him. Of course I want him. I’m just not sure…” It rankled in his soul that he felt so clueless. Changes were coming in his life that he’d never have been able to predict.
“What to do next?”
“Yes. I wanted you to stay, but not because I need you to. I want you to. But I understand if it’s too much.”
She met his eyes. “I’ll stay. He’s your son and it’s your call. I love you and I want to help.” He cleared his throat of the lump growing there and she whispered, “You’re going to be a great dad.”
Just then, Toby snuggled closer beneath Jayne’s chin. Seth watched as Jayne bit her lip, and a rosy flush came to her cheeks.