“What did he say?”
“He agreed. He thinks she’s sexy too. She was wearing a T-shirt around the house last night that said ‘Damn Sexy’ on it. She said that Grace and Charity got her hooked on Hips and Curves last winter. You know what’s worse?”
“Don’t tell me. Garter belts and stockings?”
“No, Mr. Funny. She was planning to run to the convenience store and I told her she couldn’t go out wearing that T-shirt and you know what she told me? Ow!”
He could hear more rustling and chewing. He could tell she was a little agitated, but he was enjoying this other side of Jayne he was getting a glimpse of. Evidently she had a colorful family just like his.
“Jayne, where are you?”
“Lemme finish. I told her she couldn’t go out dressed like that and you know what she said? ‘I guess that means my “I Have the Pussy So I Make the Rules” T-shirt is out of the question too?’”
Seth burst into laughter that drew Lucy from behind the reception counter to sit next to him so she could hear the conversation. “What did you say?”
“Are you kidding? I was speechless. This is my mom who ran carpools and was president of PTA. When I asked her where she got the ‘Pussy’ T-shirt she said she got it at a biker rally in Austin. Seth, my mom—at a biker rally?” Seth laughed even harder. “What’s so funny? Ow!”
“I was at that rally in Austin, working. I remember the shirt she’s talking about.” If he recalled correctly, it had been displayed with panties that had “Addicted to Fucking” on the butt, but he didn’t mention that part. He bit his lip as he envisioned this funny Jayne on the phone dressed in both.
Jayne was quiet for a second, and then she burst into hearty laughter. “My mom is a total perv, isn’t she?”
“Congratulations, honey. I hope it runs in the family. You didn’t answer my earlier question. Where are you, and why do you keep saying ‘Ow’?”
“I poked myself with a knife. I’m in my closet.” Thunder rumbled again, a little louder. “Ooh, did you hear that?”
“Yeah, we have another storm in the forecast tonight. Why do you have a knife in the closet? And why are you in the closet?”
“That’s where I hid the fudge. I’m hiding. From my sexy decorator, Energizer Bunny mom. Dad said she’s a real dynamo these days, and I had to make him stop talking. Blech!”
“You’re in the closet hiding, where the fudge is?”
“Yup,” she said, over a bite of chocolate. “How’s Lucy? Can we trade houseguests for a day? Mom could come over and decorate your house. She’s awesome and everything, but I’m getting claustrophobic.”
“Said the woman hiding in the closet…eating fudge.” Lucy covered her mouth with her hand so Jayne wouldn’t hear her snicker but waved at the phone. “Lucy is fine. She says ‘hi.’ She’s been hanging out at the studio the last few days watching the front counter for me.”
“Hi, Jayne,” Lucy called softly. “What kind of fudge you got?”
Jayne giggled in his ear. “Tell her it’s chocolate with pecans.”
She sounded like her sense of humor had returned now that she’d gotten all that off her chest. “Would you like to get together tonight? We don’t have to spend every waking moment with our houseguests, you know. Or they can come with us.”
“Don’t you have plans for this evening yet?”
“No. We could go dancing. Do you think your mom would like to come with us?”
“I don’t know.” He could hear more rustling.
“Careful with that knife.”
“I left it in the closet with the fudge. I may need more later, you never know. Mom? Mom?” Seth heard only silence on his end of call until he heard what sounded like her scampering. “Ew! Oh my gosh, Seth!”
Seth stood up so that Lucy could no longer hear. “What’s the matter?”
“Um,” she said as he heard the sound of a door closing quietly, “I think I almost interrupted my parents…”
“I thought your dad was at home.”
“He is. My mom was on the phone with him. I think they were…”
“Jayne. It’s your mom and dad. How bad could it be?”
“Imagine your mom and dad having phone sex.”
Well, since you put it that way. He had a full-body shudder, and Lucy giggled. “Thanks for planting that in my mind.”
“Now imagine that you know what they sound like.”
“Stop. I got it. Ask her later and get back to me. But you’ll go out with me”—he turned to Lucy for confirmation, and she nodded eagerly and clapped to herself—“with both of us to The Dancing Pony?”