He ran his hand over my neck. His eye twitched, and I knew from the way the darkness swirled in his eyes that he was thinking about how Robbie had put his arm over my neck.
“I’m okay,” I said.
“You’re not okay, Emery,” he said. “Stop saying that. That man attacked you.” He shook his head, seemingly disgusted. “I should never have left you, I should never have....” He trailed off, the words getting caught in his throat, and it was the first time I’d seen this kind of real emotion from him.
“You didn’t leave me,” I said, reaching up to grab his hand. I let him touch my neck, let him touch my skin, letting him see that I was okay. I ran my fingertips over his forearm, hoping that my touch would provide him some kind of proof that I hadn’t been hurt. “You were here, you stayed. You never left. You were five minutes away.”
“You got hurt because of me.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No, you couldn’t have known.” It was true. I didn’t blame Liam. It wasn’t his fault that the crazy assholes who were after my father were taking things to another level. “Liam,” I said. “What… I mean, did you pay the ransom?”
“Yes. As soon as I left the hotel, the money was wired immediately.” He shook his head. “I’m not sure why they came after you.”
“Did they – ”
“Take your bath,” he said, pulling my fingers to his mouth and kissing my knuckles gently. “I’ll get you some clothes, and then we’ll eat.” I noticed he didn’t say “and then we’ll talk.”
He went to move toward the door, but I grabbed his forearm until he turned around. His defenses were down in this moment, at least a little, I could tell. I wasn’t sure what was causing it, why he’d picked this time to let me in a tiny bit, but I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass me by.
“Stay with me,” I whispered.
“Emery – ”
“Please,” I said. “Please, I want…I want to be close to you.” I reached out and placed my hands flat against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding through his expensive t-shirt, the rhythm betraying that this was what got him anxious, that this was what caused his heart to beat fast. Emotions. Closeness. The same way I would feel when he pulled out the whip or pulled me over his knee was the way he felt when I asked him to do something like this.
He reached up and took my hand in his wrist. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want me here with you, after what I did to you?” His tone wasn’t demanding. He sounded sincere, curious and a little sad.
“Because.” And then I said the words that had been on the tip of my tongue ever since that day in his basement. “I love you.”
His face cracked, and his nostrils flared as he took in a breath. “No, Emery, you can’t love me.”
“Why not?”
“Because you can’t love someone you don’t know.”
“Whatever it is, whatever you’re hiding, whatever’s inside of you, it’s okay. I want to know it.”
“You don’t know that.”
My hands slipped under his t-shirt, my fingers running over the ridges of his abs. I couldn’t feel his scars – they were too flat and faded to feel them – but I knew they were there, and he knew I was touching them, too.
He grabbed for my wrist.
“Please,” I said. “Let me undress you. I need to feel you.” He took in another deep breath and looked away, as if his emotions were so powerful that he couldn’t stand to look at me. His eyes closed loosely, the long lashes that should never have been allowed to be wasted on a man brushing against the top of his cheeks and making him look more like a lost little boy than a man who owned almost half of New York, a man who was feared and/or lusted after by everyone he met.
His grip on my wrist loosened a tiny bit, but he left his hand there as I grabbed the sides of his t-shirt and pulled it up over his head. As I tossed it onto the floor, I ran my hands over his pecs, feeling the heat of his body.
My nipples hardened at the sight of him, at the masculine perfection that was slowly coming into view in front of me. I leaned down and kissed his nipple, my tongue sliding around the circle, then moving further down his body, over the washboard of his abs.
I licked down further until I was on my knees.
He groaned as my mouth found the dusting of hair that started at his navel and disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.
I gazed up at him as I unbuttoned his pants and slid his fly down slowly, enjoying the look on his face, unbridled lust and want as he stared down at me.