There was no way I would let any of my feelings get in the way of my goal; a baby. I couldn't let that happen. And now Stefan? This damn stalker of a butler, sent by my dad. I called him a stalker because I swear, that guy just pops up out of thin air all the time.
At home he'd be nowhere around, then I'd turn a corner and boom; there he was, holding whatever I might have been looking for. And sometimes he'd just have an answer or suggestion to my problem.
I never understood how the hell he did it.
And it was fucking creepy.
“No Stefan, go home.” The sound of pure anger rolled off my tongue. I didn't want to yell at him; didn't want Noella to hear us. But I wanted him gone. Lunging toward the island dividing us, I threw my hands down. “You need to leave, now.” I spoke through gritted teeth.
“Hegan, Sir, your father gave me very specific instructions. You're going to have to call him if you want me to leave.” Stefan folded his hands together behind his back, rocking on his feet.
Rubbing my forehead, I dragged my fingers down my cheeks. “Fuck, Stefan. What the fuck?” Dropping my arms to my hips, I circled the counter. “I'm going to call my dad. For now you need to go sit in another room, and stay there.” Lifting a single finger to his face I asked, “Can you do that?”
Stefan warily shook his head yes. As he twisted to walk away, her soft voice echoed through the hallway. “Hegan, is everything alright?” Stopping short, Noella caught sight of the butler. “Oh, hi. I'm Noella.” Her hand extended out as her back went straight.
Holding her hand gently, Stefan shook it briefly and released it as though she felt like a hot pan. “Miss,” he said, nodding his head.
“Noella, this is Stefan. He's one of the butlers for my family, and he was just leaving.” Turning my neck slowly, I glared at him. “Right, Stefan?”
“Yes. If you need anything, I'll be in the library.” And with that he was gone. For now.
As much as he wasn't hovering right over us, just knowing he was a spit away made me angry. This wasn't what I wanted, it was the last thing I wanted.
Martha's Vineyard was supposed to be my escape, my fence to keep her in; keep her with me. But this changed everything. I needed him gone.
Now.
Noella's hand draped over my shoulder. “You okay? You look like you saw a ghost.”
“Yeah, I'm fine.” Forcing the words out, I peered at the floor.
“Are you sure?” she asked, angling her head up, eyes fixed on mine.
“Yeah, it's just my dad. He sent the butler here, probably to keep an eye on us. I hate that shit. He always has to have a bird's eye view of what I'm doing.”
“I can see how that's annoying. But it's no biggie.” I felt her fingertips swirl across my back, gliding over each bulging muscle.
I started to relax; felt a sense of calmness when I'd normally be stewing everything around inside my head. Usually, I'd let the anger consume me; then I'd go out, do something stupid and throw it in my dad's face. And if he didn't know about what I did as a 'fuck you' to his control, I'd get to laugh about it inside my head while he was standing in front of me.
It was a relief to not feel that rage, to not let it eat me from the inside out. For once, I was happy to have someone here to balance me; tell me not to worry and let it go.
My hands that had started to twitch, lungs that had begun to burn as I pulled oxygen in; it all drifted away.
Noella had the touch and voice of an angel. I can't believe I even used that term, it's so corny. But that's how I'd explain her in that moment, an angel releasing the anger pent up inside me.
“I have a few things to take care of before dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, I have to feed you don't I?” A light chuckle broke the tension. Looking into her gray eyes, I caught my reflection. Her pupils had grown to the edge of color, only a tint of gray still spread around the outside.
I looked like shit. My hair was tossed in different directions, a thick stubble crawled across my jaw. Damn, I can't let myself go like this. I look like I got run over by a fucking train.
“Yeah, you do,” she said, throwing an elbow into my ribs.
“Why don't you relax in your room and I'll come get you when I'm done.”
“Or, maybe, I can check out this library I hear you have? A good book would be better than sitting, twiddling my thumbs.” Noella cocked her head to the side, pushing out her lower lip to pout.
I had to think about it, I had just sent Stefan in there. But what would the harm be if she just went in and looked around? Puckering my mouth, I cupped my jaw between my thumb and forefinger. “Alright, follow me.”
She was right, I didn't want her to sit around being bored. And possibly dwelling on whether or not she should let me fuck her again, or about having my baby.