"I will. See you tomorrow. Remember you promised we could make fairy cakes like they learned you at your CWA school."
"Taught, not learned." Ned held Ryan on his shoulder and held out his other hand to Gwennie and lowered his voice. "Good night, Jemmy. I'll call you."
She bit her lip and nodded as Gwennie piped up. "Daddy. You forgot to kiss Mummy … I mean Jemmy … good night."
"So I did."
Jemima stood still as he leaned over and brushed her mouth with firm, cool lips. "Good-bye," he said, and she would swear till her dying day that Ned's voice broke.
She held it together until she drove out the gate and across the road to Prickle Creek Farm.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ned tucked the kids into bed and gave each of them an extra cuddle in an attempt to make himself feel like less of a louse. Rather than draw it out, he'd tell them tomorrow morning what was happening so they had time to get used to the idea before the girls went back to school on Monday. He would take Ryan out in the ute in the morning, and then Billy and the new guy could work with the cattle in the afternoon while Ryan had his sleep and he got dinner ready. Tuesday was preschool day, so he could get the house in order and-
Ned shook his head as he walked down the hallway feeling lost. What the bloody hell have I done?
Everywhere he looked he could see Jemima. Playing hide-and-seek with Ryan, sitting at the desk helping Gwennie with her reading. Looking at horse magazines with Kelsey. He paused at the door to their-his-bedroom. All he could see was Jemima lying there, smiling at him as he'd dismantled that bloody wall of pillows this afternoon.
He'd done the only thing he could, and he'd done it at the right time. It was time to let her go before he fell in love with her.
He'd seen the look in Jemmy's eyes when she'd said good-bye to Gwennie, and her body had been stiff and straight when he'd brushed her lips. She was a good person, and he would be grateful to her for the rest of his life for teaching him how important the whole affection thing was. He hadn't been fair to her. He'd used her to get the bank loan that let him have more time to spend with the kids, and he'd taken her to his bed. He'd never intended for her to become a part of the family. And after the first time he'd slept with her, he'd vowed to remain aloof and not be tempted again, but …
He wandered into the kitchen, feeling lost, knowing Jemima wasn't going to be in there. A reluctant smile tugged at his lips; a smell of burned pots still lingered even though he had scrubbed them clean. Was it only this afternoon that they'd ended up in his bed?
Whoever would have thought that an international fashion model would have come into their lives and made such a difference? It was just like that movie with Goldie Hawn-what was it called? Overboard, that was it. Jemima was beautiful enough to have starred in it herself.
She'd been wonderful with the kids, and he knew that she would make a wonderful stepmother. A real one.
But that wasn't going to happen because he wasn't going to risk falling in love again. It had been so bloody horrendous when he'd lost Cath; he honestly couldn't go through that again. And he wouldn't put the kids at that risk again. Ned stared through the window, ignoring the little voice that was telling him it was already too late. He loved Jemima already. He straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath.
Yes, this is the best way. The only way.
He was so close to needing Jemmy in his life, it was time to end it.
Why was he such a coward? What the heck had he been thinking taking her to bed when he didn't have the courage to make it permanent? On the flip side, how was he going to live without her?
He couldn't afford to trust what his heart was telling him.
Go after her. Tell her you love her.
In came the logical mind.
No, we can live without her. What if she had an accident? Life is fragile.
And how did he even know that Jemmy loved him back?
Of course she does, his heart told him.
What if she thinks I only want her for her money? In came those thoughts again.
Ned looked around the kitchen. His eyes went back to the window. It was pitch dark outside; and that was what his life-and the children's lives-would be like if he let her go.
In that moment, his heart won. He looked up at the clock above the door. It was only nine o'clock. The kids could sleep in tomorrow.
They were all going to Prickle Creek Farm. He was going to ask Jemima Smythe to marry him.
For real this time.
…
There was a tap on Jemima's bedroom door. She wiped her eyes and shoved the tissue beneath the pillow. "Yes?"
"Are you decent?" Liam called through the door.
"Yes, what's up?"
The door opened, and Liam poked his head around it.
"You okay?" Liam flicked the light switch on, and Jemima put her hands over her eyes.
"Yes. Just a bit emotional."
"Why? What's going on?"
Jemima sat up and tucked her legs beneath her on the bed as Liam sat on the end. The house phone rang, and Angie yelled out, "I've got it."
"Have you been crying?" Liam looked at her curiously.
"Yeah." She sniffed. "I've been so bloody emotional lately, it'll be good to get back to my apartment and put an end to the nonstop waterworks."
"Whoa, right there. What do you mean back to your apartment?"
"Ned and I both agreed it's best for the kids to put an end to this farce now. The farm's doing really well, and he's going to pay the loan back. And he's hired that other farm hand, so there's no need for me to hang around."
Liam shook his head slowly. "And what about the fact that you're in love with each other?"
"No, we're not. Don't be stupid."
"I'm not blind, Jemmy. You should see the way he looks at you."
Her voice was cold and cynical. "That's nothing new. I have hundreds of people looking at me like that, every time I get on the catwalk. Besides, he told me I was beautiful, but he didn't tell me that he loved me." The words wobbled, and she dug under the pillow for the tissue as her eyes welled up. "Bloody tears. Why won't they stop?"
"Don't you dare make the same mistake that Angie and I did. Go and talk to Ned. Make sure he knows how you feel. Please promise me you'll do that before you go anywhere?"
"Maybe."
"Jemima."
"Oh, maybe. All right. I'll think about it."
They both jumped as Angie pushed the door open. Her eyes were wide, and her face was pale. "We need to go over to Ned's. Now."
Jemima jumped to her feet. "What's wrong?"
"Kelsey's missing." The look she shot at Jemima was sympathetic.
"Oh no. How can she be missing?" Jemima pulled on her sweatshirt and grabbed her car keys from the dressing table.
"Ned said he was on his way to bed and checked on the kids, and she was gone. He's searched everywhere. The house, the hay shed, and he's about to load the other two kids in the ute and head down to the dams." Angie looked at Liam as Jemima pulled the door wide open. "He asked if you'd drive along the road and then to the main road. Wait, Jemmy. I'll come with you. I told Ned to wait and I'd sit with Ryan and Gwennie."
Liam followed them up the hall. "I'll take my ute up the road." He gave Angie a quick kiss and picked up his keys. "I'll see you both over there."
As Jemima drove to the Prickle Creek Farm gate, she and Angie both kept their eyes peeled for Kelsey, but all they saw were kangaroos, standing sentinel-like next to the trees lit in a ghoulish glow by the headlights on high beam.
Jemima muttered, "I thought she seemed a bit quiet when we left the club. And when we got home, she ran straight inside."
"She can't have gotten far in such a short time," Angie reassured her.
"What if she'd got as far as the main road and hitched a ride with a truckie?"
"She knows better than that, Jemmy."
Jemima shook her head. "I just hope she didn't overhear us when we were talking about me leaving. Oh God, I hope she's all right."
They cruised along the driveway down to the Daniela homestead but didn't see anyone until the lights settled on Ned standing beside the hay shed.
Jemima pulled the hand brake on, jumped out of the Audi and ran over to him.
"Ned, tell us where you want us to look." Her heart went out to him, but she pulled her hand back as she went to comfort him.
Ned glanced over at Angie. "The kids are inside, and Gwennie's really upset."
"Come on, I'll come down the back with you." Jemima hurried over to the ute before he had a chance to tell her otherwise.
…
The front yard was filled with a dozen or more utes as neighbours from along the road arrived to join in the search. Jim Ison announced at midnight that the police were on their way out, and the volunteer SES guys were bringing searchlights. Jemima stayed by Ned's side as they searched the back paddocks and roads, but there was no sign of Kelsey. The only hopeful sign was that one of the farm dogs, a young pup, was missing too, and as they searched, Ned called out for Rusty every few minutes. But there was no answering dog bark, and no child, to be heard or seen.