Be honest.
He was looking forward to coming into the house early and spending some more time with Jemima without the kids around. Taking off his boots, he threw them on the verandah and opened the screen door-he'd oiled it, and the usual squeak was gone. Padding on the tiled floor, his socks made no noise. The music had stopped, but the acrid burning smell lingered. He frowned as he reached the kitchen; Jemima was sitting at the table with her head on her arms on the tabletop.
He hurried across, and she lifted her head as he crouched beside her.
"Jemmy, what's wrong?"
Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and as she stared at him, her cheeks reddened.
"Oh, nothing, just another burned lot of meat. At the rate I'm going, you'll need to take out another loan to pay for the meat I've ruined." She sat up straight. "It's okay. Ignore me. I'm just having a female hormonal moment. You'll need to get used to them with two daughters growing up." She smiled as she pushed the chair back. "I'll get you a sandwich."
He reached out and took her arm before she could move away. "No, it's fine. I'm not hungry."
Not for food, anyway. All he wanted to do was hold her. He was a sucker for tears. Ned let go of her arm and looked at the mess on the sink. "How about I help you clean up this mess?"
"There's no need. You've got stuff to do."
"No, I'll help. Where's the pot scrubber?"
Ned washed and scrubbed pots, while Jemima wiped the dishes and put them away. It was a cosy domestic scene, and he was conscious that they were home alone.
Keep your mind on the task at hand.
"Ned, do you mind if I ask you something?" Jemima's voice was soft.
"No. What's up?"
"How did Cath die?" She hurried on. "I wouldn't have asked, but you mentioned her easily before. You rarely speak of her, but the kids often do when you're not around, and I didn't want to say the wrong thing. Was she sick?"
Ned put the pot scrubber on the side of the sink and turned to look at her. Jemmy was biting her lip, a surefire sign that she was nervous. He'd gotten to know that sign very well. He stared at her lips. Her face was beautiful, even though her eyes were a little bit puffy from her tears.
He reached up and ran his thumb gently beneath her eye where the traces of a tear remained. She drew a quick breath.
"No. She wasn't sick. She was on her way to work. I was working from home and looking after Ryan and Gwennie. A guy went through a stop sign and straight into the side of her car." Ned kept his tone even. It was the first time, for a long time, he'd talked about it. "Cath was in hospital on life support for a long time before we … before she died."
Another tear plopped onto his finger, and he caught it. "That's what wiped me out financially. I can talk about it now. And I really do need to start talking about Cath naturally to the kids."
Jemima sniffed and reached for a tissue. "I think that would be good."
"Don't cry."
"It's not that." She shook her head. "My mum died in a car accident when I was in my teens. And her two sisters, too. Lucy's mum and Seb's mum. I know what an impact that had on our family, but we had each other." Another sniff. "It breaks my heart that you did it pretty much alone with the kids."
"My parents and Cath's were great, but all I wanted was to be alone. Coming out here has been so much better than I thought. We've moved on a lot faster than I expected."
Another tear trickled down Jemmy's cheek, and Ned held his arms out. "A hug would help us both now, I think." He held her close and murmured into her hair. "I'm sorry to hear about your family tragedy. We get so tied up in our own grief, it's easy to forget that others have had hard times, too."
"We're fine now. Unlike your kids, Liam and I didn't have a dad to turn to. Dad died when Liam and I were both small." Jemima's breath was warm against his cheek.
Ned couldn't help himself. He moved his head closer so her lips were against his cheek. With a sigh, she pressed them against his skin. Ned moved away and lifted his hand. He held her chin gently in his fingers and looked into her blue eyes.
"You are so beautiful, Jemmy. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen."
He knew it was okay when she lifted her lips to his.
…
Jemima stood beneath the shower an hour later. They'd left the kitchen spick and span and headed for the bedroom. She'd laughed as Ned had chucked the pillows on the floor and pulled her down beside him. There'd been no more words until they'd realised they only had half an hour to shower and get into town before school finished.
As they drove into town, she tried to block Ned's words from her head. All he'd said was that she was beautiful. Her dreams of being held by him-and more, much more-had come true. But it was only because of her looks.
How many times had that happened in her life? Sometimes she wished she'd been born a plain Jane. Life would be a lot easier.
"Penny for your thoughts?" His words intruded into her musing.
Jemima forced a smile to her face. "I was just wondering how you liked driving my car instead of the old ute."
"It's very nice."
"Maybe I should sell it to you when I leave. The kids like it."
"Out of my budget," he said with a laugh.
"Ned, I've been thinking about when I leave. We need to talk about it. I've had an idea."
"Yes?" It was hard to tell what he was thinking. Jemima glanced across at him, but he was staring at the road ahead. They were almost into town.
"What do you think if I go away a bit now and then? I can say I've got things to do in Sydney. The kids will get used to me not being there, and it won't be so hard when I go for good in a few months."
"No. I don't think I could cope with that. Even though Billy's here, I'm still out on the farm a lot." This time, his words were clipped. "And it would cause talk that would get back to the kids."
"You don't think me going at the end of the year will cause more talk and do them even more harm? We really didn't think this through, Ned." The anger was welcome, and Jemima stopped feeling sorry for herself. "And me not cuddling and being affectionate with the kids? Kelsey almost broke my heart at pony club last week. She came running up for a hug when she did well. When I stepped back and patted her shoulder, the look on her face almost broke my heart."
"So what do you suggest? You go back to cuddling the kids, and then you leave for a few weeks at a time? You think that won't hurt them?"
"Ned, you're not getting it. Whatever I do, they've gotten really used to having me around. It's going to hurt them no matter what."
Ned's knuckles were white as they gripped the steering wheel of her Audi. "I know. Just let me think on it some more. I'll give some more thought to it, and we'll talk when we get home. Okay?"
His eyes were shadowed as he parked the car across from the school. "You stay here. I'll go and collect them. Might as well start now."
Jemima pulled out her phone and scrolled through the numbers until she found Angie's work number. She hit the dial button and waited for Angie to pick up.
"Hi, Ange. It's Jemmy. Can I ask a favour?"
Chapter Twenty
The RSL bistro was busy and humming with the noise of the end of week crowd. The Friday night raffles were on, and the kids were fascinated as the winning numbers flashed up on the screen. Several families from the primary school were there, and Kelsey, Gwennie, and Ryan had joined their friends sliding up and down the polished timber floor next to where the carpet bowls were played. When Jemima had asked Angie about the kids having a shower and a change of clothes at her little house in town, Angie had asked if she and Liam could join them for dinner, too.
Liam and Ned were deep in conversation about cattle as they waited for their meals to be called. Two men in Salvation Army uniforms were moving from table to table collecting money. After Angie and Jemima had slipped some coins into the wooden box, Angie leaned over.
"You okay, Jemmy? You're very quiet tonight, and your eyes are shadowed."
Jemima nodded and then let out a sigh. "Not really. I've got a bit on my mind. And I've been really tired."
"Being a surrogate mum and a housekeeper taking its toll?" Angie said with a smile.
"Not really. The cooking's the only thing that I can't handle. But I'm getting better at it. I've been tired and off-colour ever since Lucy tried to poison us all with her pineapple pizza!"
"She still feels so bad about that."
"You were lucky you were away that weekend. It wasn't fun."
"But Lucy said Ned looked after you okay?"
"He did." Jemima couldn't help the colour that ran into her cheeks.
"He's a good man. And he's good with those kids." Angie dropped her voice. "Lucy and I were hoping-"