"Do you really want to know?" He licked at his lips as someone sighed close by.
Bethany turned to try and discern who it was, but Kendal tapped the table between them, pulling her back.
"What? Yes, of course I want to know. I asked."
He chuckled. "Most people ask lots of things they don't really want the answer to. It's prudent to ask, but it takes courage to receive the response."
"Wow. That's a lot of mental mumbo-jumbo you got going on there this morning, Dr. Tarrington."
"Right? I do my best thinking first thing in the morning. It's disturbing." He cleared his throat. "It's too soon for something as big as an engagement. You guys have loads of hurdles to climb over, and you both know it. The note asking you not to wear the ring shows that Damon is starting to consider some of them."
"The hurdles?"
"Yes." He lifted his hand. "That doesn't mean that he doesn't think he's in love with you, or that he doesn't want a future, but you guys aren't a normal couple."
Heat brushed up the center of her chest. "And who has the right to judge what normal is?"
"Exactly." He let out a soft sigh. "Her name was Ana, and she was so beautiful. Sweet and kind and only four years younger than me, but none of that mattered. Our situation wasn't at all what you might call normal. She was my student, my best student, and the university, my friends, her parents, fuck... everyone threw stones at our budding relationship. You don't get to define normal, Bethany. They do." He pointed to the restaurant and waved his hand about as his words deflated her.
He was right. They had far too much stacked up against them to simply walk into the office and announce their engagement, but something about hiding it felt wrong too. The worry that Damon wasn't proud that she belonged to him tried to creep in, but she pushed it back. It was stupid. He'd told their families, the people that mattered most that they could all take a hike if they didn't want to support their budding relationship.
He wasn't ashamed of her.
"That sucks." She glanced around and wrapped her free arm around herself as she nursed her coffee. "It's unfair. Not right."
"Agreed, but it is what it is." He shrugged.
"What happened to Ana?"
"She transferred to A&M in College Station and is probably the head of some big four firm right now. She honestly was one of the most brilliant accounting minds I'd seen at the time, or since. She made me think." He chuckled before letting out a soft grunt. "I would say that I miss her, but it's been six years, and after making the decision to walk away, I didn't turn back."
"And the university just popped you on the hand and let you go?"
"Sort of. They knew how close our ages were and that the relationship was consensual."
"I thought you said that the girl finally pulled back the charges. What charges?"
"That wasn't Ana. Another girl in my second year of teaching stayed after for tutorials late one night and came on to me. I told her no. She got pissed and filed a claim with the university that I'd raped her in the fucking classroom." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and shook his head. "I kept thinking that I should just leave this place, that nothing was worth all of this shit."
"But after being in school for six years for your doctorate, you decided differently?"
"Exactly. I fought hard as hell to get it. I had them check the cameras and they did, and counseled the girl to pull back the charges, but word had already gotten out on campus. They asked for my resignation and I refused. I threatened to sue them, and that shut them up. I've had a TA or two ever since, and all of my rooms are monitored with cameras, including my office. I'm not sure what they think they're going to find, but they're full of shit. I never touched that girl, or anyone else since Ana. She was my one and only mistake." He lifted his eyes and pressed her with a hard stare. "I'll never, ever make the same mistake again."
"Can't say that I blame you." Bethany nodded toward the folder. "Let's go over your syllabus for this week since classes start in an hour. We can finish up this lovely conversation another time, if you're up for it."
"Good plan. I like a girl with focus." He smiled and pushed the papers across the table. "Tell me what you worked on yesterday and we'll go from there."
"One more thing." Bethany let out a soft exhale. "Matt mentioned to Damon while we were on vacation that he needed to be careful in throwing around the idea that he was in "love". I guess he told Christa that he loved her too-"
"Yeah, on the third date. We still give him shit over that, though we really shouldn't. The poor guy hasn't dated much due to some family stuff he's still dealing with, but I'll let him tell you about that when he's ready." Kendal shrugged. "I would assume he means what he says, Bethany, but like any of us, he's looking for a relationship that probably doesn't exist. How nice would it be to find someone where you don't have to think about anything but them, but it just doesn't work that way. Not in this world."
"Well, this has been thoroughly depressing." She snorted as he laughed.
"I'm sorry. Ignore me. I'm going through my own shit right now."
"Why? The semester just started."
"I know, and I saw a girl yesterday in the Dean's office that I would sell my soul to take to dinner. It took all I had to turn and walk away." He shook his head and glanced down toward his hands.
Her heart contracted in her chest as he fiddled with his fingers.
"You can't date someone in the master's program either?"
"No." He glanced up. "No one from the university. Period."
"No other professors?"
"Nope. No one." He shrugged and pulled the papers back toward him. "All right so let's talk about this thing so you can get on with your life."
She nodded, but let the question she wanted to ask die on her tongue. What about his life? How did he 'get on with it' when he was stuck in the past? Regret and sorrow sitting on him so comfortably that he looked five years older than he was?
It was beyond unfair. So much so, that she couldn't help but try and work through a way to help him overcome it. Something had to give... it just had to.
Chapter 7
Damon
The alarm clock had gone off too early the next morning, and not having gotten in from work until three that morning left him grumpy and hating the world. It was a fair assessment of most of his mornings, but this one seemed worse.
Why hadn't Beth stopped by during the day? There was no fucking way she was completely good with the note he left her. It wasn't like her at all not to swing by and light into his ass over it. It would have been a great time to close the door and press her hot little body against the wall, grinding into her and bleeding out his aggression all over her.
Every muscle in his body protested as he moved into the shower and worked quickly to create a thick lather of soap across his chest. How badly he wanted her there with him to enjoy the warmth of the thick mist all around him, the slippery wetness of his skin against hers.
"You're killing me, baby." He slid his hand down his thick erection and stroked his sack a few times. "I need you here, and yet you're off saving the world. Probably pissed and hurting. Why didn't you come find me?"
He could have taken the time to find her, but it seemed like the ball was in her court. He had too much shit on his shoulders to stop and track her down to apologize for something he wasn't at all sorry about. Their engagement was exciting and something to be proud of, but he had to make sure to lay the foundation with everyone around him to accept it. Their families being so supportive was almost expected.
After washing himself off, he got out of the shower, his body hard and ready for a good hour or two of fucking and yet... no woman to fuck. She should have been there, and he didn't give a shit about how greedy or needy it was. It was a fact.
He changed into a pair of black slacks and a light blue button down before working a tie around his neck and pulling his jacket on. With a few meetings with clients later that day, he was stuck having to completely look the part.
"This is what it's going to be like soon. Dad retired and me working myself into an early grave." He adjusted his tie and checked himself in the mirror one last time. "Yep, still me."
Traffic was heavy as he made his way into the office, but it gave him plenty of time to get over the mixture of angst and melancholy that wrestled inside of him. The loud booming of his metal music somehow offered a reprieve from his thoughts, which was greatly needed as well. He and Bethany needed to talk things through.