The conversation was mostly about the forthcoming harvest and Isabelle was content to let the men talk, letting their banter and laughter wash around her. Her thoughts drifted to Castlemora. It would be harvest time there too; a harvest that would be used to feed Murdo and a horde of mercenary troops. Her father and brother must be turning in their graves. Hopefully though, not for much longer. With an effort she put the thought aside. This was no time for sad or gloomy reflections.
'Are you all right, sweetheart?'
She looked up to see Ban regarding her closely. 'Oh, yes, of course.'
'Only you looked miles away.'
'I was thinking of Castlemora and harvest time there. It was always such a joyful occasion. I used to love watching the grain brought in, knowing the lean months had come to an end.'
'You'll see it again, I promise, and with a feast such as has never been seen.'
'I'll hold you to that.'
'It should be a season of plenty this year,' he said. 'Let's just hope this fine weather holds a little longer.'
'Yes, let's hope so.'
She seemed momentarily downcast and, guessing at some of the thoughts passing through her mind just then, he changed the subject. 'I missed your company today.'
Isabelle shook her head. 'I believe you were too busy to spare any thoughts of me.'
'You're wrong. You were often in my mind.'
'Oh? And what were you thinking, my lord?'
He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. Isabelle's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. He saw it and grinned appreciatively. 'You really are most attractive when you blush.'
She darted a look around but everyone else was engaged in conversation and seemed not to have noticed. Even so she lowered her voice. 'You are incorrigible.'
'Where you are concerned I am.' He paused. 'Dare I hope that you thought of me in my absence?'
'I may have done, once or twice.'
'Only once or twice? I must try to make it harder for you to forget me.'
She regarded him speculatively. 'And how do you mean to do that, my lord?'
'I'll show you later, when we're alone.'
Her skin tingled. When they were alone, she would tell him her news. She smiled quietly, hugging the secret to herself a little longer. Ban eyed her curiously, sensing something different about her this evening but not being able to define it precisely. These sudden changes of mood were strange. Nevertheless, the mysterious smile was beguiling and seductive, and he began to feel impatient to have her to himself again.
Rising from the table he held out a hand. 'Shall we?'
They bade the company goodnight and took their leave. A crowd of grinning faces watched their departure. Ban ignored them, leading her firmly by the hand. He didn't stop until they reached their chamber. Drawing her inside he shut and barred the door, then took her in his arms for a lingering kiss that set every nerve aflame.
'I've been waiting to do that all evening.'
She smiled. 'Only that?'
'That was just the start, my sweet.'
He stepped back just long enough to remove her clothing and his own and lead her to the bed. Then he made love to her, a hot and passionate coupling that drove all else from her mind and there were only the two of them carried on a rising tide of pleasure. Afterwards they lay together in sated quiet. Isabelle snuggled closer, her head on his breast, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, breathing the familiar musky scent of his skin. Her whole body felt deliciously weary now, every fibre alive to his nearness. She glanced up and saw him smile. She knew then that the fire was not out, it was only banked. The knowledge created a thrill of anticipation. It seemed almost indecent to enjoy physical union as much as this: the church would certainly regard it as a sin. Yet it didn't feel like a sin to lie with Ban. It felt like paradise, another undoubtedly blasphemous notion. Marriage was for the procreation of children, not for carnal pleasure. That thought brought her back to the matter that had been uppermost in mind until he took her to bed, and she smiled.
Ban squinted down at her. 'What?'
'I was just thinking about pleasure.'
He grinned. 'All in good time, sweetheart.'
'That's not what I meant.'
'Oh?' He regarded her curiously now. 'Then what did you mean?'
'That some would find such bliss sinful.'
'They are fools then. If we were not intended to enjoy this God would not have given us the means to do so.' He traced a finger lightly over her shoulder. 'Enjoyment is a celebration of his gifts.'
'Speaking of gifts...'
'It seems to me that you have many,' he replied.
'One more now, for you.'
'What gift, sweetheart?'
'The greatest gift: a child.'
His hand stopped abruptly and he stared at her, unsure he had understood. 'A child? You mean you're...'
She nodded. 'I'm going to have a baby.'
For a moment or two he was utterly incredulous but the look in her eyes spoke louder than words. His heart seemed to miss several beats before lurching violently back to life. As he tried to assimilate the news he felt almost light-headed. His dearest wish had been granted. She was going to have a child; their child. His line would continue and the memory of his dead kin would live on. His throat tightened.
'Darling, that's wonderful. Are you quite certain?'
For a second she lost track of her thoughts. What had he just called her?
'Isabelle?'
'Oh, yes, quite certain, now.' She smiled tremulously. 'I've suspected for a while but I didn't want to speak until I was sure.'
'When? When is the baby due?'
'In the spring.'
He let out a crow of delighted laughter. 'I'm going to be a father.'
'Yes.'
'That's marvellous. The most marvellous thing I ever heard.' He laid a hand on her belly. 'I never expected it would happen so soon.'
'Well, you've certainly done your part to bring it about,' she replied.
His smile faded a little as another thought occurred to him. 'You should have spoken sooner, sweetheart. If I'd known I would not have...'
Her gaze met his. 'Ban, it's all right. I won't crumble to dust.'
'Even so, I should not have been so rough. Did I hurt you?'
'No, of course not.' She kissed him gently. 'There's nothing to worry about.'
He lay back on the pillows trying to take it in, his mind a whirl of different emotions. Never in a thousand years had he expected to hear such news so quickly. The implications of it left him breathless. He was going to be a father. The knowledge thrilled and terrified him at the same time. He took her hand and raised it to his lips.
'Thank you.'
Her throat tightened. 'I have dreamed of this for so long.'
'I know.'
She hesitated. 'I pray that I will give you a son but...'
'That will be as God wills. The point is we are going to have a child.'
'Many children I hope.'
'Well then, what need to worry whether the first is a boy or a girl?' He put his arms round her and drew her close. 'It is a blessing I once thought never to have.'
'And I.'
'You have nothing to reproach yourself for.'
'It means so much to know that it wasn't my fault.'
In that moment he glimpsed the extent of her pain and her fear and they moved him deeply. So too did the knowledge that, for a while at least, he had contributed to that, allowing doubt to govern his behaviour. It shamed him to think of it. The woman is always to blame. His jaw tightened as the words came back to haunt him.
'I'm so sorry, sweetheart.'
She looked up quickly. 'For what?'
'For my former behaviour towards you. I cannot think of it without disgust.'
'You have not ill used me.'
'Not in the ways you are thinking of perhaps, but in all others.'
'Not so.'
'It is so, starting with my near rape of you beside that river, and ending with a series of clandestine trysts in a hay barn.' He shook his head. 'It could not be considered knightly behaviour, by any stretch of the imagination.'
'You took a chance that most men would have shunned.'
'I took advantage.'
'It has worked out in the end.'
'That doesn't make me feel any better about it.'
'Let's not dwell on the past, Ban. We have so much to look forward to.'
He kissed her gently. Before they could truly look forward the present menace must be dealt with. Her revelation tonight only made it more pressing. Their child would have its inheritance no matter what. After that he would devote himself to being a better husband.
Chapter Seventeen
Work began on the harvest, and most of the inhabitants of Glengarron, saving only the very young and the very old, were busy in the fields, the men cutting the grain, the women binding and stacking sheaves. As each field was cleared the gleaners moved in, collecting what had been dropped or missed, so that nothing was wasted. Even the children helped. Gradually the granaries began to fill. People smiled as they worked, knowing that the year ahead would be a year of plenty.
Isabelle would have volunteered her services to help but Ban refused to hear of it. 'You are with child. Heavy work is out of the question.'