“So?” I ask, like I don’t understand. I do, though. I really get the sympathy. But there’s a point when you’re being used where you have to put your foot down.
“If I don’t help her, no one else is there for her.”
“There’s a reason for that. There’s a reason she’s alone.” I say.
“I don’t want her to be alone though. I want her to be happy.” She sounds so sad.
“That’s real sweet of you, babe, but sometimes you have to stop letting people use you.”
She shifts uncomfortably and then sits down on the bench next to me. I grin when I see her mouth open, and her eyes close in ecstasy. She likes that little hint of pain and I’m pretty sure her clit is still throbbing, priming her for my dick again.
“Vince?” Her tone is off and I don’t like it.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” I keep my tone neutral until I can figure out what's wrong this time.
“I was just wondering what all this means to you.”
Oh. Fuck. It’s one of those conversations. I’m not too sure how I want to answer that. So I play dumb. “What do you mean?”
“What’s going on between us?” I know it takes a lot for her to be so straightforward, and I respect that.
“We’re having fun, babe.” The sadness that swarms in her eyes fucking kills me. I have to admit I want to keep seeing this girl. I really want to do all sorts of things to her body. I’d love to test her responsiveness, but it wouldn’t be smart. I run my hand through my hair. Fucking her this morning wasn’t smart either.
Her eyes fall to the floor, but she nods her head slightly. “I like just having fun. No strings or anything, that’s okay,” she says. I can see she’s hurt and that she wants more. She’s just saying what she thinks I want to hear. It tears me up inside.
“You sure you don’t want to go to lunch, sweetheart?” I pull her to sit on my lap, still wrapped in her towel. “I’ll take you wherever you wanna go.” Just one more moment with her, before I have to say goodbye.
She gives me a forced smile and shakes her head. “That’s alright. You don’t have to do that.” Fuck she looks so sad. Like it’s just a pity date.
“I don’t have to. I want to.” I don’t realize how true the words are until they leave my lips.
“I have to get back.” She pushes off of me and reaches for the bag of clothes from Neiman Marcus and turns her back to me as she begins to get dressed. I know she’s upset, and it hurts.
I wish I could tell her I’ll see her tonight, but I’m not fucking inviting her to dinner. I’ve got one of her textbooks downstairs and I’ll text her later tonight to swing by and come pick it up at my parents' house. That way Pops sees her, and I don’t get my sweetheart wrapped up with my Ma. That shit’s not happening. Ma will have all sorts of ideas going through her head if I bring her home.
“Take your time.” I give her a small smile that grows as she turns and smiles back at me. She’s not that upset. Something’s off, but she knew what this was. I take a few steps towards her and kiss the crook of her neck. Her hand comes around the back of my head to hold me there and I admonish her by nipping her earlobe.
“I’ll see you downstairs.” She bites her bottom lip and nods with that blush staining her cheeks.
“You alright, sweetheart?” She’s been quiet since she came downstairs, even after we left my place. Maybe the high that was keeping the regret from her is wearing off. I don’t know what it is. But her sweet smiles are gone now. I hope her memory isn’t coming back to her. Seeing her anything but happy makes me nervous and uneasy.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” she answers with a forced upbeat in her voice.
“It was fun hanging out with you.” I rest my hand on her thigh. We’re parked in front of a decent enough house in an average neighborhood.
“Yeah,” she says. Her smile falls and she noticeably swallows. “It was fun for me, too.” My heart drops looking at the sadness in her eyes. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why she’s so upset.
That’s a fucking lie. I know she wants more. But she can’t have it. It’s over between us. It’s better this way. She can’t be coming around after the shit she saw. Even though she forgot, I’m not bringing her around the familia. I can’t.
For fuck's sake, I want her, too. But I can’t have her.
Her small hand grips the handle to leave before I can get out of the car. That’s not happening. “I’ll walk you up.” I don’t give her a moment to respond. I’m out and around to her side before she can swing the door fully open. I offer her my hand, but she’s hesitant to accept. Finally, she does. She gracefully steps out and we walk in silence.