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His Final Bargain(17)

By:Melanie Milburne


'Will I know my colours after this?'

Eliza looked at the tiny tot's engaging little face and felt her heart  contract. 'I think you're going to be an absolute star at this game.  Now, here goes. Which one is this?'

Leo was coming back from speaking to one of the gardeners working on a  retaining wall at the back of the garden when he saw Eliza and his  little daughter sitting in a patch of sunshine on the lawn near the main  rose garden. Eliza's attention was focused solely on Alessandra. She  was smiling and tickling his daughter's nose with a rose. Alessandra was  giggling in delight. The tinkling bell sound of his little girl's  laughter sounded out across the garden. It was the most wonderful sound  he had ever heard. It made something that had been stiff and locked  inside his chest for years loosen.

He watched as Eliza rained a handful of rose petals from above  Alessandra's head. Alessandra reached up and caught some of them,  crushing them to her face and giggling anew.

He could have stood there and watched them for hours.

But then, as if Eliza had suddenly sensed his presence, she turned her  head and the remaining petals in her hand dropped to the lawn like  confetti.

He closed the distance in a few strides and his little daughter also  turned her head in his direction as she heard him approach. 'Papà?'                       
       
           



       

'You look like you are having a lot of fun, mia piccola.'

'I know my colours!' she said excitedly. 'Eliza's been teaching me.'

Leo quirked one of his brows at Eliza. 'You look like you're enjoying yourself too.'

'Alessandra is a very clever little girl,' she said. 'She's a joy to  teach. Now, Alessandra, I'm going to pick some more roses. Let's show  Papà how clever you are at distinguishing which one is which.'

Leo watched as she picked a handful of roses and came back to sit on the  lawn next to his daughter. Alessandra's expression was a picture to  behold. She held up her face for the brush of each velvet rose against  her little nose. She breathed deeply and, after thinking about it for a  moment, proudly announced, 'That's the pink one!'

'Very good,' Eliza said. 'Now, how about this one?'

'It's the red one!'

Leo looked on in amazement. How had she done it? It was like a miracle.  His little daughter was able to tell each rose from the others on the  basis of its smell but somehow Eliza had got her to associate the colour  as well. Even though, strictly speaking, Alessandra hadn't learned her  colours at all, it was a way to make her distinguish them by another  route. It was nothing less than a stroke of genius. He felt incredibly  touched that Eliza had taken the trouble to work her way through a task  that had seemed insurmountable so that his little girl could feel more  normal.

'OK, now, how about this one?' Eliza held up a white one and Alessandra  sniffed and sniffed, her little face screwing up in confusion.

'It's not the yellow one, is it? It smells different.'

'You clever, clever girl!' Eliza said. 'It's a white one. I tried to trick you, but you're too clever by half. Well done.'

Alessandra was grinning from ear to ear. 'I like this game.'

Leo looked down at Eliza's warm smile. It made that stiff part of his  chest loosen another notch. He imagined her with her own child-how  natural she would be, how loving and nurturing. It wasn't just the  trained teacher in her, either. He was starting to realise it was an  essential part of her nature. She genuinely loved children and wanted to  bring out the best in them. No wonder she had been recognised as a  teacher of excellence. She cared about their learning and achievement.  He could see the joy and satisfaction on her face as she worked with  Alessandra. Sure, he was paying her big money to do it, but he suspected  it wasn't the money that motivated her at all.

Why couldn't she have been Alessandra's mother?

'You're scarily good at this game,' Eliza said. 'I'll have to be on my  toes to think of new ones to challenge you.' She got to her feet and  took one of Alessandra's hands in hers. 'We'd better get you inside, out  of this hot sun. I don't want you to get sunburnt.'

Leo moved forward to scoop his daughter up to carry her back to the  villa but she seemed content to walk, albeit gingerly, by Eliza's side.  He watched as she toddled alongside Eliza, her little hand entwined with  hers, her footsteps awkward and cautious, but, with Eliza's gentle  encouragement, she gradually gained a little more confidence.

'Four steps, Alessandra,' Eliza said as they got to the flagstone steps  leading to the back entrance of the villa. 'Do you want to count them as  we go?'

'One … two … three … four!'

Eliza ruffled her hair with an affectionate hand. 'What did I tell you?  You're an absolute star. You'll soon be racing about the place without  any help at all.'

Marella appeared from the kitchen as they came in. 'I've been baking  your favourite cookies, Alessandra. Why don't we let Papà and Eliza have  a moment while we have a snack?'

'Grazie, Marella,' Leo said. 'There are a few things I'd like to talk to Eliza about. Give us ten minutes.'

'Sì, signor.'

Leo met Eliza's gaze once the housekeeper had left with his daughter.  'It seems I was right in selecting you as a suitable stand-in for  Kathleen. You've achieved much more in a day with Alessandra than she  has in months.'

'I'm sure Kathleen is totally competent as a nanny.'

'That is true, but you seem to have a natural affinity with Alessandra.'

'She's a lovely child.'

'Most of the people who deal with her find her difficult.'

'She has a disability,' she said. 'It's easy to focus on what she can't  do, but in my experience in teaching difficult children it is wiser to  focus on what they can do. She can do a lot more than you probably  realise.'                       
       
           



       

A frown pulled at his brow. 'Are you saying I'm holding her back in some way?'

'No, of course not,' she said. 'You're doing all the right things. It's  just that it's sometimes hard to see what she needs from a parent's  perspective. You want to protect her but in protecting her you may end  up limiting her. She has to experience life. She has to experience the  dangers and the disappointments; otherwise she will always live in a  protective bubble that has no relation to the real world. She needs to  live in the real world. She's blind but that doesn't mean she can't live  a fulfilled and satisfying life.'

He moved to the other side of the room, his hand going to his neck,  where a golf ball of tension was gnawing at him. 'What do you suggest I  do that I'm not already doing?'

'You could spend more time with her, one on one. She needs quality time with you but also quantity time.'

Guilt prodded at him. He knew he wasn't as hands on as he could be. No  one had played with him as a child. His mother had been too busy  pursuing her own interests while his father had worked long hours to try  and keep his company from going under. Leo wanted to be a better parent  than his had been, but Alessandra's blindness made him feel so  wretchedly inadequate. It had paralysed him as a parent. What if he did  or said the wrong thing? What if he upset her or made her feel guilty  for having special needs? Giulia, in her distress, had said unforgivable  things in the hearing of Alessandra. He had tried to make up for it,  but there were times when he wondered if it was already too late.

'I'll try to free up some time,' he said. 'It's hard when I'm trying to  juggle a global business. I can't always be here. I have to rely on  others to take care of her.'

'You could take her with you occasionally,' she said. 'It would be good for her.'

'What would be the point?' He threw her a frustrated glance. 'She can't see anything.'

'No, but she can feel, and she would be with you more than she is now.  You are all she has now. The bond she has with you is what will build  her confidence and sustain her through life. Stop feeling guilty. It's  not your fault she's blind. It wasn't Giulia's fault. It's just what  happened. Those were the cards you were dealt. You have to accept that.'

'You're not a parent. You know nothing of the guilt a parent feels.'

Her eyes flinched as if he had struck her. 'I know much more about guilt  than you realise. I live with it every day. I agonise over it. But does  it change anything? No. That's life. You have to find a way to deal  with it.' Her gaze fell away from his as she pushed back a strand of her  hair off her face.

Leo frowned as he narrowed his gaze to her left hand. 'Where's your ring?'

She glanced down at her hand and her face blanched. 'I don't know … ' She  looked up at him in panic, her eyes wide with alarm. 'It was there  earlier. I have to find it. It's not mine.'

'What do you mean, it's not yours?'

She shifted her gaze again, her demeanour agitated. 'It's my fiancé's  mother's. It's a family heirloom. I have to find it. It must have  slipped off somewhere. It's a bit loose. I should've had it adjusted,  but I-'