She found it hard to hold his burning gaze. 'I was at a loose end. I was jet-lagged and lonely. I have no other excuse. I would never do something like that normally. I can't really explain it even now.'
'Let me tell you why you did it.' His top lip curled in disdain. 'You were feeling horny. Your fiancé was thousands of miles away. You needed a stand-in stud to scratch your itch.'
'Stop it!' Eliza clamped her hands over her ears. 'Stop saying such horrible things.'
He pulled her hands down from her face, his fingers like handcuffs around her wrists. The blood sizzled in her veins at the contact. She felt every pore of her skin flare to take more of him in. Her inner core contracted as her body remembered how it had felt to have him thrusting inside her. His first possession four years ago had been rough, almost animalistic and yet she had relished every heart-stopping, pulse-racing second of it.
'You still want it, don't you?'
'No,' she said but her body was already betraying her. It moved towards him, searching for him, hungering for him, aching for him.
'Liar.' He brought her chin up, his eyes blazing with fiery intent.
'Don't do this,' she said but she wasn't sure if she was pleading with him or herself.
'You still want me. I saw it that first day when I came to your flat.'
'You're wrong.' She tried to deny it even as her pelvis brushed against his in feverish need.
He grasped her by the bottom and pushed her hard into his arousal. 'That's what you want, isn't it? You're desperate for it, just like you were four years ago.'
Eliza tried to push him away but it was like a stick insect trying to shift a skyscraper from its foundations. 'Stop it,' she begged. 'Please stop saying that.' A bubble of emotion rose in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but it refused to go away. She didn't want to break down in front of him. She hated that weakness in her, the one where she became overwhelmed and crumbled emotionally. It was the abandoned little seven-year-old girl in her who did that.
She wasn't that little girl any more.
She was strong and independent.
She had to be strong.
She had to survive.
She had to withstand the temptation of losing herself in the sensual world of Leo Valente, the one man who could dismantle her carefully constructed emotional armour. Her armour had been just fine until he had come along. It had always stood her in good stead. But now it was peeling off her like a sloughed skin, leaving her exposed and raw and vulnerable.
'I'm sorry … ' She squeezed her eyes tightly closed for a moment. 'I just need a little minute … '
He dropped his hold as if she had suddenly burned him. 'Save your tears.' He scraped a hand through his hair. 'It's not your pity I'm after.'
Eliza forced her eyes back to his hardened cynical gaze. 'Right now I'm having a little trouble figuring out what it is you actually want from me.'
'I told you. I want you to fill in for Kathleen. That's all I want.'
She watched as he strode to the other side of the room, his movements like his words: clipped and tense. Was it true? Was that all he wanted from her? What if he wanted more? Wasn't it too late? An unbridgeable chasm separated them. He'd had a child with another woman. She was still tied to another man. Even if they wanted to be together, how could she desert Ewan when it was her fault he was sitting drooling in that chair?
Maybe this was about revenge. It pained her to think Leo would stoop to that. Was he so bitter that he had to make her suffer? What good would it do to either of them to spend a month at war over what had happened four years ago? It wouldn't change anything. Their history would still be the same. Their future would still be hopelessly unattainable.
'You should go to bed.' Leo turned to look at her again. 'Alessandra is not an easy child to manage. You'll need all your reserves to handle her.'
'I'm used to dealing with difficult children,' Eliza said. 'I've made a career out of it.'
'Indeed you have.' He gave her a brief on-off movement of his lips that was a paltry imitation of a smile. 'Goodnight, Eliza.'
She felt as if she was being dismissed again. It didn't sit comfortably with her. She wanted to spend more time with him, getting to know the man he was now. Understanding the agony he was going through in handling a blind, motherless child. He seemed lonely and isolated. She could see it now that she knew what had put that guarded look in his eyes and that tension in the way he held his body. Who was helping him deal with his little girl's disability? Was anyone supporting him? She had met parents of special needs kids before. They carried a huge weight of responsibility on their shoulders. They had told her how shocking and devastating it had been to find they were now members of a club they had never intended to join: the autism club, the hearing impaired club, the learning disabled club-the not quite perfect club. And in most cases it wasn't a temporary membership.
It was for life.
'Leo … ' She took a step towards him but then stopped when she saw the dark glitter of his gaze. 'I think it's important for Alessandra if she senses that we are friends rather than enemies.'
'How do you propose we do that?'
Eliza felt the mesmerising pull of his gaze. He was so close she could see the dark pepper of his stubble and her fingers twitched to reach up and feel its sexy rasp against her fingertips. She looked at his mouth, her stomach clenching as she remembered how passionately those lips could kiss and conquer hers. Her insides coiled as she thought of how he had explored every inch of her body with his lips and tongue. Was he remembering it too? Was he replaying every erotic scene in his head and feeling the reaction reverberate through his body? 'I … I think it's important we be civil to each other … '
'Civil?' Those fathomless dark eyes burned and seared as they held hers.
'Yes … civil … polite … that sort of thing.' She swallowed a tight little restriction in her throat. 'There's no need for us to be trading insults. We're both mature adults and I think it's best if we try and act as if we … um, like each other … a bit … at least while we're in the presence of Alessandra.'
'And what about when we are alone?' One of his brows lifted in a sardonic arc. 'Are we to continue to pretend to like each other-a bit?'
Something about his tone sent a shiver to the base of Eliza's spine. Being alone with him was something she was going to have to avoid as much as possible. The temptation of being in his arms had always been her downfall. Hadn't his rough embrace just proved it? He had only to touch her and her body burst into hungry flames of need. He said he didn't want her, but she saw the glitter of lust in his eyes. He could deny it all he liked but she could feel it like a third presence in the room. It hovered there between them, a silent but ever-present reminder of every erotic interlude they had shared.
His body knew hers intimately.
He knew how responsive she was to his touch. He knew how to make her flesh hum and sing. His touch on her body was like a delicate, priceless instrument being played by a maestro. No one could make her body respond the way he did. He was doing it now just by looking at her with that dark assessing gaze. It stroked her as it moved over her body. She felt the fizz and tingle of her lips as his gaze lingered there as if he was recalling how they had felt against his own. She felt a prickly stirring in her breasts when his gaze moved over them. Was he remembering how her tight nipples had felt against his teeth and tongue? Was he remembering how she had whimpered in pleasure as his teeth had sexily grazed her sensitive flesh? She felt the heat of arousal between her thighs even without him lowering his gaze that far. Was he remembering how it had felt to plunge his body into hers until they had both careened into mindless oblivion?
'I'm not here to spend time alone with you.' She gave him an arch look. 'I'm here to look after your daughter. That's what I'm being paid to do, isn't it?'
His gaze was inscrutable but she could see a tiny muscle clenching on and off in his jaw. 'Indeed it is.' He moved to the door. 'I'm going out for a short while. I don't know what time I'll be back.'
'Where are you going?' She mentally grimaced. She hadn't meant to sound like a waspish wife checking up on him.
He gave her a satirical look. 'Where do you think I might be going?'
Eliza felt her stomach plummet in despair. He had a mistress. No wonder he had pulled away from her. He already had someone else who saw to those needs. Who was she? Was it someone local? Had he set her up in a villa close by? Please don't let it be their villa-the villa where she had spent those blissful three weeks with him.