His Ex's Well-Kept Secret(25)

There was still more to this story, Piper thought. "Did you ever see her again?"

Jaeger nodded. "About four years later, I called her to see how she was  doing, and we met up. She told me that she missed me, that she still  loved me."

"And you still loved her?"

"Yeah. I wanted her to move in with me, to pick up where we left off,  but she refused. She said we had to take it slow, get to know each other  again. I hated waiting. I wanted to live with her, be with her. But I  was thrilled she was coming back to New York. To me."

Piper felt a cold fist squeezing her heart. "Oh, Lord. What happened?"

"Out of the blue she up and married a guy she'd been seeing since she  moved back home. She sent me a text message ten minutes before she  walked down the aisle, saying she loved me but every time she looked at  me, she remembered Jess and it hurt too much. That she couldn't live her  life like that," Jaeger said, his voice flat.

"Oh, sweetie." Piper had to touch him. She snuck her hand under his  leather jacket and placed it directly over his heart. She knew there was  nothing she could say, nothing that would help. She just kept looking  into his eyes with her hand on his chest.                       
       
           



       

His antimarriage, antikids stance made sense now. He'd almost had it  all, and then his dreams for love and a family were ripped away. He  wasn't a selfish man, or a selfish father. He was just a guy trying to  protect himself. Who could blame him?

Him not wanting children or not wanting to make a commitment had nothing  to do with wanting to be free. Jaeger wasn't shallow, and she was  embarrassed she'd bought the tale he'd told the world, even if it was  the tale he'd spun so well.

He'd told her the truth. Wasn't it time she did the same? It took  courage to open up, to lay his cards-battered, ripped and stained-on the  table. Could she be as brave? Maybe it was time for her to try.

"I can't believe that I am rehashing this!" The words sounded harsh on  his lips, but Piper understood that feeling angry was better than  feeling sad. "I trust you will keep this to yourself? I've never told  anyone, not even my siblings, about that attempt at reconciliation."

"Why not?"

Jaeger shrugged, and the smallest smile touched his lips. "Those two  months with Andy and Jess, they were-" he tipped his head up and looked  for a word. "-magical. I just wanted to keep those memories of her and  I, together again, to myself."

Piper nodded. She understood the need to hold a memory close, not to rob  it of its magic. That was the way she felt about Milan and the time  they'd spent together last summer. It didn't matter that he didn't  remember her, didn't recall the magic they'd shared.

It was enough that she did.

She had to tell him. She would tell him. She just had to find her words.

"Jay, I-" God, this was so hard. Tears burned her eyes and she looked at  the ground, softly blowing air over her lips. "God, I-that is..."

Jaeger bent down and placed Ty back in the stroller, pulling the straps  over his sleeping frame. Jaeger tested the lock to make sure Ty was  strapped in tight and looked up at her. "Can we walk and talk? I need to  head back to Manhattan. I've got to whip Beck's ass at racquetball."

Piper jerked her head back. "Oh! Well, um, I thought-okay." Explaining  about Ty would take some time, and it wasn't a conversation they should  have while rushing. No matter what his reaction was, he'd have, at the  very least, questions.

"I interrupted you," Jaeger said, using his free hand to hold hers. "What were you going to say?"

"It'll keep," Piper replied.

This wasn't news that she wanted to blurt out, especially so soon after  hearing about his daughter's death. She didn't want Jaeger to feel she  was presenting Ty as a replacement for Jess. She didn't want to diminish  his loss.

She understood that Jess was irreplaceable.

But now she knew she had to tell Jaeger the truth. And soon.





Ten

Crawling exhausted Ty. He was in bed a half hour sooner than normal, and  Piper was intensely grateful. His crawling exhausted her, too, and  Jaeger keeping her up most of last night didn't help. She was finished  with her work, and all she wanted was to lie down on her couch, watch  some mindless TV and drift off. Jaeger hadn't said whether he was coming  back and a small part of her hoped he didn't. She could use a solid  night's sleep.

She also needed some emotional distance and a chance to rehearse how to  tell him about Ty. She needed to present him with a coherent, logical  explanation why she'd kept Ty a secret, how convinced she'd been that  he'd be a disinterested father. If they managed to have a rational  conversation about all of that, she'd tell him she was Mick's daughter.  She wanted to open up to Jaeger completely and explain how her  nonrelationship with Mick had deeply scarred her.

She might also tell Jaeger she loved him. She'd explain that she'd loved  him from the first time she'd seen him in Milan and she hadn't stopped  loving him since. Love, to her, meant going all in, risking everything.  Love had to stand in the light of truth to flourish. If she loved Jaeger  then she had to trust him with her secrets, with her past, her thoughts  and her insecurities.                       
       
           



       

Yeah, telling him the truth was scary, but she had no choice.

Piper took a sip of wine, tapped her finger against the glass and tried  not to worry about how he'd respond. Jaeger had never once intimated  that they had anything more than a sexual connection and a fond  friendship. Was she setting herself up for a fall? And if he did feel  something for her, would their oh-so-fragile relationship survive the  truth?

But love wasn't love when it lived in the dark.

God, thinking so much was exhausting. It had been a hell of a week, one  of the craziest of her life. She picked up the remote to start her  downtime when her phone rang. Digging it out of the back pocket of her  jeans, she frowned at the unfamiliar number on the screen before  answering.

"Is that you then, Piper Mills?"

"Um, yes, who am I talking to?"

Piper listened to a rambling explanation. This was Maeve Cummings, once  Mills. She was Piper's mom's oldest cousin. Piper dropped the remote and  leaned forward, surprised the many messages she'd sent to the email  addresses in her mom's address book had finally received a response.

"You and I are the closest living relatives of John Carter Mills. Your email said you need information about him?"

"I do. Do you have anything of his?"

"I have some gems and his diary. A few papers."

"You have...sorry...what?" Piper asked, her breath catching in her throat.

"Three blue stones that are supposed to be worth something," Maeve replied. Maeve had the missing Blues...maybe.

"And you haven't had them valued?" Piper asked, trying to keep up.

"Never needed to. I'm as old as dirt and as rich as sin."

God, her cousin was a character! Why hadn't her mother kept in touch  with this feisty old woman? Thinking it couldn't hurt to ask, Piper did.

Maeve snorted her displeasure. "I didn't like your father, and I told  your mother he was bad news. Your mother didn't appreciate my frank  assessment of the situation and broke off contact. How is she coping  without him? She loved that thieving son-of-a gun."

"She died years ago. I don't know if she would've managed without him,  so maybe it was better she went first," Piper admitted, pushing her  fingers into her forehead.

"I'm sorry to hear that. So, you're his daughter?"

"Yep."

"The fact your surname is Mills tells me all I need to know about how good he was at being a father."

Maeve sniffed her disapproval and let out a hacking cough. Piper waited,  listening as Maeve eventually caught her breath. "I live in Sag Harbor.  Come and take them when you're ready."

"Take what?" Piper asked, confused.

"John Carter's diary and the rest of the stones. They might as well go to you and not to charity."

Piper shook her head wildly before realizing Maeve couldn't see her.  "No! Really, I'll borrow the diary, if I may. That's all I need."

"Fine. Changing my will would be a pain in the ass, anyway."

Dear Lord, this woman was batty. "Have you read the diary?"

"Yes, sixty years ago."

"Do you possibly remember how he acquired the stones?" Piper asked, holding her breath.

"I'm old but not senile," Maeve snapped. "There was a landslide in a  village to the north of Srinagar, and he pulled some local people out  from under a pile of rocks. The villagers thanked him by giving him the  sapphires. Three quarters of the way through the book, if I remember  correctly, is his description of the landslide and the rescue. A little  further along is a detailed description of the stones."