His Ex's Well-Kept Secret(14)

       
           



       

"Not a chance in hell," Linc said. "First, why are you changing a diaper  and second, who does the baby belong to? Third, are you sure you are  not drunk?"

"Long story. Come on, I'm dying here. It's not...pleasant," Jaeger said.

"Tell us what we want to know and I'll guide you through it," Linc drawled.

Bastard! "It's Piper Mills's kid and she's downstairs asleep. The kid  has had an ear infection and she's had no rest two nights running. I  heard the kid and came up here and was rewarded with this mess in its  pants."

"You could just wake her up," Beck suggested.

He'd covered that ground several times. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Only if you agree to watch Shaw this week so Beck and I can go watch the Knicks kick ass."

Jaeger glared at his phone. He also had a ticket to that game, the asshat.

"I don't babysit, Linc. You know that," Jaeger said, his hand on Ty's  thigh. Ty was looking past him to the ceiling. Jaeger glanced up, too,  and noticed the glow-in-the-dark stickers of cartoon characters on the  ceiling. Pretty cool, Piper.

"You're changing a diaper on a baby belonging to a woman you barely know, but you won't babysit your own nephew?" Linc asked.

Crap! But he was changing a freakin' diaper, so he'd might as well go  all-in and babysit too. Essentially, Linc had him between a rock and a  dirty diaper, so he reluctantly agreed. Linc walked him through the  process. Because Piper was organized, he found everything he needed  quickly. Within five minutes, Ty was clean, creamed and powdered. After  listening to his brothers' sarcastic congratulations, he disconnected  the call.

He'd survived.

Jaeger felt like he needed a strong drink. To normal people, changing a  diaper was an oft-repeated action. To Jaeger it felt like he'd  negotiated a mental Mount Everest. He'd been hiding from kids, from  babies, scared to deal with the memories of Jess he thought would drop  him to his knees.

He hadn't realized how much pain he'd buried until, four years ago, he'd  seen Linc rock a tiny Shaw to sleep, unaware that Jaeger was standing  in the doorway. When Linc rested his lips against his son's head, Jaeger  felt the burn of hot, unwelcome and acidic tears on his skin.

He'd had this; he'd lost this. And he'd known that although he loved  Linc, he couldn't watch Linc raise Shaw. It would hurt too damn much.

He'd had to leave, to run. Before dawn he was on a plane to Colombia, trying to outpace his past.

He now accepted that, while he could face down warlords and hardened  criminals, he'd lacked the courage to push past his own loss and be  there for his brother in raising Shaw. It was one of his deepest  regrets. He loved his sibs and enjoyed spending time with them. Someday  there would be more Ballantyne children, and he wouldn't make the same  mistake with Beckett and Sage. He wouldn't distance himself from his  family to avoid their babies. Or hide from his past.

Ty was a good way to become reacquainted with the smaller species. With Ty, he could take it as fast or as slow as he liked.

Best of all, when he felt overwhelmed, he could hand the baby back to  Piper and walk away. Jaeger placed his hands on either side of Ty's body  and looked down into his happy face. The little guy was seriously cute.

"That was a hell of a way to get to know you, dude," he murmured. Ty  gave him a gummy smile, and Jaeger couldn't help smiling in return. "You  don't have much of your pretty mom in you, Ty. Now, Jess, she looked  just like her mom. Same pointed chin, triangular face, black hair. Deep  brown eyes. Pretty, you know."

He was talking to a baby about his baby, Jaeger thought. Talking about  Jess wasn't something he did. But he figured he was safe since Ty wasn't  going to blab. "She had a birthmark on the inside of her thigh." Jaeger  pressed a spot on Ty's pudgy thigh and the kid laughed. "Just here, and  it was shaped like a butterfly."

Jaeger squeezed Ty's thigh and he laughed again. Ah, so he was ticklish.  Jaeger allowed his fingers to dance his way up the sides of Ty's ribs,  and Ty's belly laugh rumbled over his skin. "Would she have laughed like  this? Would she be ticklish?"                       
       
           



       

Ty shoved his hand into his mouth and stared at Jaeger with his owl-like eyes.

"She would be a teenager now. Probably wearing a bra and talking about boys. God!"

How could he miss her so much when he'd hardly known her? He'd spent his  days at work, a lot of time traveling, and he'd had an hour or two with  her on weekdays, slightly more on weekends. Yet her death created a  hole in both his and Andrea's hearts, a hole that widened until it  became so big they fell into it and were lost. As individuals and as a  couple.

"Hey, sorry. I didn't hear him."

Keeping his hand on Ty so he remained on the table, Jaeger looked  around. Piper's hair was a mess of curls, her mascara was smudged and  she had a pillow crease on her cheek. She looked tired but, hell, still  hot. She walked into the room and saw the dirty diaper, the pile of baby  wipes on the counter.

"You changed him? Why didn't you call me?" she asked, picking Ty up and dropping a kiss on his head.

Jaeger shrugged. "I thought you needed to sleep," Jaeger replied, his  voice rough. Oh, God, he prayed she hadn't heard him talking about Jess.  It was one thing facing your past; it was another confessing it.

Ty leaned away from Piper as if silently asking Jaeger to hold him.  Jaeger stepped back and lifted up his hands. "Sorry, I don't do babies."

Piper looked at the dirty diaper, the open jar of cream and the powder  and lifted her eyebrows. "You changed his diaper but you don't do  babies? Do you know how nuts that sounds?"

Of course he did. But it wasn't like he could tell her the truth. Jaeger  shrugged and made a production of looking at his watch. "I have to go.  I'm late for dinner."

Piper nodded and cocked her head. "Nobody is keeping you here, Jaeger," she murmured, her voice soft and nonaccusatory.

Yeah, fair point. Yet it still took everything Jaeger had to get his feet to move.





Six

On the following Thursday, the flight from Washington was delayed and  Piper, in a taxi heading into the city from JFK, looked at her watch and  sighed. Ceri would've bathed and put Ty to bed by now, and he'd be  asleep. She hated the days when she didn't see Ty. She'd left before he  woke this morning, and her appraisal of a private collection of Cuban  art had taken longer than she'd anticipated, which necessitated her  taking a later flight back to New York.

She wanted to go home, have a glass of wine and chill out. Actually,  what she really wanted was to go home, kiss her baby and climb into bed  with a ripped man with amazing blue eyes and a quirky smile. She hadn't  seen or heard from Jaeger since Sunday-how could four days feel like a  decade?-and the time apart only seemed to heat her fantasies from hot to  scorching.

She had so much to lose. This was the worst time ever to fall back in  lust with her one time ex-lover-the provider of all her son's boy genes!  Despite this, she desperately wanted a repeat of eighteen months ago.  She wanted Jaeger's clever mouth trailing kisses over her body, his  hands exploring every inch of her, his voice rumbling across her skin,  whispering hot, naughty, sexy words in her ear.

"You're so hot."

"God, you turn me on"

"You feel so damn good."

Piper wanted those words; she needed those words. For just one evening  she wanted to forget she was a single mother, that she was in danger of  losing her house, that she was the daughter Michael Shuttle had never  acknowledged. That her life was insanely complicated. She wanted to be  anyone other than a frazzled, stressed, almost thirty-year-old who  hadn't had sex for eighteen months. She wanted wine. She wanted heat.  She wanted...

Jaeger.

Again. Would a time ever come when she didn't want him? Probably not. Her pheromones liked his... It was that simple.

And that problematic.

Piper's heavy sigh filled the back of the cab. Was it even ethical to be  thinking of diving back into bed with Jaeger when she was keeping such a  huge secret from him? And she had to consider how her actions would  affect Ty.

Ty came first. He always had and he always would. If she slept with  Jaeger and if they reignited, she would still have to protect Ty.                       
       
           



       

To do that, she had to continue keeping his parentage a secret.

To do that, she had to withhold information from Jaeger, and that felt like she was lying. Aaargh!

And while she was torturing herself with difficult scenarios, what  exactly did she want from Ballantyne? Just sex? Sex with friendship? Sex  and a relationship? Exactly what type of explosion did she want to  detonate?