His Defiant Desert Queen(99)
He shrugged. “Please.”
“But you said pleasure could lead to more. You said pleasure could lead to love.”
“I was wrong.”
She looked at him, then away, trying to ignore the panic in her head and the sickening rush of hurt and pain through her veins.
This wasn’t happening, not now. She’d fallen in love with him and she’d given herself to him.
“Why?” she whispered, staring out at the white sandy beach and the sea beyond. “Why do this to me? Why go through all the motions and seduce me and pleasure me and pretend to care? Pretend to want me?”
“I do care about you. I never had to pretend to want you. I still want you. I still desire you. But I’ve realized I care too much about you, to trap you here in Saidia. You need more than this desert and my palaces. You need the world you grew up in.”
“This isn’t about me,” she said, interrupting him. “This is about your mother. It’s about her relationship with your father, not about you and me.” Jemma drew a rough, unsteady breath. “I am not your mother. I am not sheltered. I am not a naive young American girl thinking she’s being swept off by Valentino. I’ve experienced hard things and known tremendous pressure, and public criticism, and personal shame. So don’t think for me, and don’t make decisions for me, at least, not without consulting me, because, Mikael, I know what I want and need, and I want and need you.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I don’t know who you were in the past. I never knew you as a boy or a young man, but I know who you are now. You’re smart, courageous, honest. Brave. You have strong morals and values, and a fierce desire to do the right thing. I love that about you. In fact, I love you.”
“You don’t love me. You love the pleasure, you love the sensation.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“It’s not. I’ve seduced you with pleasure. I bonded you to me with all the hormones from sex and orgasm.”
“Stop talking,” she said, springing to her feet. “Your words are killing me. They’re poisonous. Toxic. Just get rid of me now. Drop me off at the airport. But don’t say another awful, hateful word.”
He rose, towering over her. “You’re being irrational.”
“I am? Really? You spent eight days seducing me. Eight days making love to me in every conceivable position, showering me with gifts, assuring me that as your wife I’d be protected, safe, secure. Well, your idea of security is very different from mine, Sheikh Karim!”
“I’m sending you home to protect you.”
“From what? Whom? The paparazzi? The media? The bloodthirsty public? Who are you protecting me from?”
“Me,” he ground out, his voice low and hoarse.
She flung her head back, stared into his eyes, furious. “Maybe it’s time you let go of the past, and your self-loathing and hatred. Maybe it’s time to forgive. Because you are so determined to be fair to your country and your people but, Mikael Karim, you are not fair to yourself, and you’re screwing up royally right now. You had me. You had my heart. And you’ve just thrown it all away.”
They didn’t speak on the walk back to the car.