His Defiant Desert Queen(66)

                “You’d let me travel with you?”

                “With me, and without me. Marriage isn’t a prison, and I’d never keep you from your family, or opportunities, provided you were able to fulfill your duties as my wife and queen.” He paused, studying her. “I have a house in London. It’s large, and comfortable. Well located. It needs you. Someone to fill it with people and parties.”

                Jemma looked away, emotion making her chest ache. “Now you’re just teasing me. Tempting me with possibilities that are...impossible.”

                “How so?”

                “You shouldn’t dangle things before me. Or opportunities. I’m strong, but not that strong. If I stayed here, it shouldn’t be for things.” She turned to look at him again, her gaze locking with his. “It should be for the right reasons. It should be for you.”

                For a moment there was just silence. And then Mikael leaned forward, captured her face in his hands and kissed her lightly on the lips before releasing her.

                Jemma’s heart turned over. Her lips tingled. She nearly pressed her fingers to her mouth to stop the throbbing.

                “Next time I see Sheikh Azizzi I must thank him,” Mikael said, his deep voice pitched even lower. “I was angry with him in Haslam. I was angry that he’d try to saddle me with you, but obviously he knew something I didn’t.”

                “Saddle doesn’t sound very complimentary.”

                “You weren’t happy about it, either.”

                No, that was true. She was shocked, angry, desperate. But happy? No.

                But she almost felt happy right now. For the first time in months and months she felt calm. She felt content. She felt as if she could breathe.

                Which is why she had to be careful. She needed to keep her guard up. It was vital she not let Mikael get too much closer.

                While they’d talked a servant had removed the dishes, replacing the platters and bowls with trays of delicate biscuits and dried fruits.

                “You really like London?” Mikael asked her, taking one of the dates stuffed with cheese and rolling it between his fingers. “It was never a culture shock?”

                “I liked it from the start. No one paid me any attention. I felt free there.” She selected one of the flaky almond cookies and broke it in half. “It’s different now. I’m known, and more alone than ever.”

                “You’re lonely?”

                She nodded. “Yes. I miss what I had. Not the things, but the friends, the activities, the energy. I used to wake up every day, excited to see what the day would bring. Now I just get by. Push through.”

                “Once we return to Ketama, once everyone knows of our marriage, you will discover that doors presently closed to you, will open. As my wife, you will be welcome everywhere. As my wife, no one would dare to shame you, or exclude you.”

                Jemma popped half the cookie in her mouth and chewed, but her mouth had gone dry, and the cookie tasted like sawdust. “I don’t want to be accepted because people are afraid of alienating you. I want to be accepted because people like me.” Her eyes suddenly burned and she took a sip from her golden goblet. “It hurts to be scorned.”

                “Which is why you need my protection. I do not want you to suffer more than you have.”