I reach inside the cabinet by the toilet and slip my hand around the cool metal. I twist my body and put my back against the wall, aiming my gun straight at his heart.
He puts his hands up and takes a step back from me. "Paige, what the fuck?" The shock on his face would be comical if I wasn't shattering into a million pieces.
"Get out of my house, you lying bastard. You knew who he was. You even did what he said."
Understanding dawns on him, and he takes a step toward me. "Paige, it's not-"
I point the gun at the wall and fire off a round. The noise silences him, and he takes a step back. I point the gun at his heart, wanting it to break like mine is breaking.
"Get. Out," I grit through clenched teeth, and he nods.
"We are going to talk about this," he says, slowly stepping out of the bathroom.
"There is no we. Not ever again."
I keep the gun trained on him as I see hurt slice across his face. Good. He deserves this and so much more. He steps around the corner, his fists clenched at his sides, and I hear him walk through the living room, shutting the front door quietly behind him.
I stay on the floor of the bathroom. I don't know how long I sit there, but every limb in my body falls asleep and my body goes numb. I want to keep throwing up, but there's nothing left. I should probably get in the shower, but I'm starting to shake, and I can't move.
Time passes, and my mind spaces out, like it's unable to wrap around what's happened, so it goes blank. I start to laugh, because this can't be real. I fell in love with the devil. That's when my hysterical laughter turns into sobs. I'm broken like my mother.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ryan
I STARE AT the closed door, my heart pounding out of my chest. My world just crumbled in front of me.
"Fuck."
I punch the wall. My fist easily goes through the sheetrock. It's no match for my anger. I debate going back inside. It takes everything I have to keep myself in place as an inner battle rages inside me. I want to go back in and make Paige see reason, even if it means facing down a gun. I wouldn't care if she shot me, as long as she heard me out. Right now all she's seeing is betrayal and maybe that's what I've done. I did betray her on some level, but I never meant to hurt her. She laid herself bare to me and told me all her secrets. Yet I still kept mine hidden, because I was afraid of what she'd think when she found out.
I worked for her father's organization for years, and I've been in contact with him over the past five. I fed him bullshit intel so that I could keep tabs on him. I've been trying to get information on him for my handler. I've been undercover digging up dirt on Alexander Owens. To bring him down, as well as his operation.
He's running drugs and weapons in the underbelly of New York, using his companies as fronts. I'd long ago had enough information to take him down, but it wasn't just about him; it was about something bigger. But then Paige walked into my life. She sent everything into a tailspin, and I didn't know what to do. I've been pulled in so many directions over the years. It's a balancing act that I haven't mastered.
It became clear as I stared down the barrel of a gun, with the woman I love most in the world on the other side of it. I know exactly what I need to do. So much pain was on her face. She thought another man in her life failed her, and I never wanted that for her. I will do anything to take that look off her face.
The elevator sounds, and I turn to see Mallory getting off, her panic clear on her face. When she sees me, her expression turns to anger as she heads right toward me. When she lifts her fist to swing at me, I don't bother trying to block it. I even let my head jerk with the punch, giving her the satisfaction she's looking for. The punch hits part of my lip, and I taste blood.
"Holy motherfucker!" she yells. Paige's front door flies open. "Why the hell didn't you ever tell me how much it hurts to punch someone?" Mallory is yelling, but my eyes are on Paige. She still has the gun in her hand, hanging down by her side, her face red and blotchy as tears coat her cheeks.
I take a step toward her, but the look she gives me stops me dead. It's not anger. It's pain now. Deep, gut-wrenching pain that almost brings me to my knees. I put that there.
"Move, asshole." Mallory pushes me, and I step aside, letting her get to Paige. She engulfs her in a hug, and Paige's eyes fall closed as she seeks her friend's comfort. Not mine. I was the one who was supposed to comfort her. Not rip her apart.
Mallory pulls away and pushes Paige back into her apartment. "Leave," Mallory growls at me, before slamming the door, leaving me alone in the hallway all over again.
This ends tonight. I take the stairs down to my apartment and go straight for my safe. After pulling out everything I need, I go over to my computer and reach out to another operative. One I know I can trust to never speak a word of what I'm about to do. He owes me from when I saved his sister and kept my mouth shut. I had him in my back pocket once the man who had hurt her suddenly went missing.