Making my way up the stairs to our floor, I avoid the cameras in the stairwell. I know there's no way to do so in the elevator, so this is my best bet. When I get to our floor, I secure the entrance behind me and go over to Jordan's desk. I sit down and click a few keys, bringing his computer to life. I unzip my backpack and take out my laptop and some cords, linking the two computers together. I enter all three of Jordan's passwords, remembering exactly what they were from the day he showed me. Once I'm in, I open up the software to copy everything I'm seeing to my laptop. If someone digs, the searches will come up on Jordan's computer and it won't lead back to me. I'll wipe all the information after I'm done and I get what I want, but it will show that his was the one accessed tonight and not mine. Sorry, buddy, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Once I'm all set up, I pull everything I can find about my father. Miles has a folder of information about him. I mainly need locations, phone numbers, emails, and things that will lead me to him. Or lead me to a weakness he might have. He's gone off the grid since Miles took a lot of his companies out of commission. Those companies that were fronts for a lot of his dirty dealing, and he's hiding, letting the dust settle. There are files here that can be accessed only by encryption software, and I use that to go in and pull up Miles's files, as well. They could be love notes to Mallory for all I know, but I've seen Captain looking at them, and I want to have them copied onto my personal drive, too. I can look through them thoroughly when I get back home, but tonight is about gathering as much information as I can. I have a feeling that after my little break-in, I won't get this opportunity again. Captain will watch his badge more closely, and Jordan may suspect someone was on his machine. Worse, I may get caught and never be allowed in the building again, and I need as much as I can get on my laptop.
It takes me only a few minutes to scan through and add the files I want. It takes another few seconds to mirror all the data from Jordan's computer onto mine and close down the programs. Once I've got what I need, I wipe Jordan's computer of everything I've done and load my laptop back into my bag. I put it on my shoulder as my pulse races, but I've got what I need. I'll finally be able to end this. Put it behind me. Maybe have a future with Captain if he'll still have me. God. Captain. Just thinking about losing him makes my whole body ache.
I push Jordan's chair back exactly how I found it and check his desk one last time to be sure there's nothing out of place. I smile, thinking that it's all going to plan, and turn to leave.
And as I do, I run into a brick wall. My Captain.
"Hey, kitten," he says, looking down at me. "Have something of mine?"
Chapter Eighteen
Paige
CAPTAIN STARES DOWN at me, his face nothing but hard lines. An unreadable mask. There's no emotion to it, and he's giving nothing away. He's still in the same suit he wore to work today. His green eyes look darker than ever. I grab the strap of my backpack tighter and stare back, unsure what to say to him. I don't want to try to explain this. I knew we weren't forever and that's why I was savoring all the moments I could with him, collecting each of them to replay over and over again in my head when he was long gone from my life. For when he wanted nothing to do with me. He'll regret ever telling me he loved me, because the person he thought he loved isn't really me.
It's tearing at my heart, because I never thought about the fact that I'd have to relive the breakup along with all the good moments. This is when he finds out who I really am deep down inside, and he walks away from me. Seeing him staring down at me, I feel the weight of it hit me in my chest. The reality of losing another person I love.
Love.
The word bounces around in my head. Holy fuck. I love him and I lost him.
"I-" The single word leaves my lips before he cuts me off.
"Not a word," he says, his tone completely flat. He's unreadable, and I don't know how to react. His big hand engulfs my wrist, and he pulls me along behind him as he turns to leave. I don't fight, though maybe I should. The urge to flee is strong, because facing the reality of what I've done is closing in on me. I'm good at running when I get scared. When I can't handle what's happening. The silence in the elevator is deafening. I don't know if I hate it or welcome it.
He hasn't told me it's over. Yet. So in this moment of limbo, he's still mine, but I know what's coming. I want to lean into him. Take his mouth in one last kiss. I remember this morning with the two of us in this very elevator, and it was completely different than it is now. My eyes fall closed as I replay it in my mind, feeling the tears start to build up behind my eyelids. I fight with myself to not let one slip free.