"Kitten, I promise you that you don't want to tease me." He makes it so there isn't space between us, pressing me further into the mirrored wall. "You don't know how many times I've jerked off in the shower this week, thinking about taking you, having you, making you mine. I've been doing it for years, but it's worse now because every morning I wake up with you in bed next to me, your sweet smell all around me. Knowing what your body feels like. What you sound like when you moan my name." My breath catches at his words. "You breathe and I'm fucking turned on. So when you pull a stunt like this where you tease me, I have to think real hard about why I'm not ripping your panties off and fucking you right here, right now."
"Holy shit," I whisper.
"Now give me your mouth."
I do as he commands, kissing him once again. This time it's as hard and raw as before, only I'm not in control. He kisses me like nothing else in the world matters and we have all the time he wants. I'm a puddle of molten need, gasping for breath, when he finally breaks our connection.
"Don't ever deny me when I want your mouth," he growls, then finally pulls away, leaving me dazed. I didn't know a kiss could make the earth spin in the opposite direction.
After a second I get my footing back and straighten my shoulders. "There isn't a time when you don't want my mouth."
"Then you better buy stock in ChapStick."
I laugh at that, and he lets me go. He hits the button to our floor. The elevator opens and we step out, and both of us walk into the office like nothing happened. We take our seats. Only McCoy is here. Everyone else is out on duty. He glances up at us and raises his eyebrows. I wonder if my lipstick is all over my face now.
"I deleted the feed," he finally says, and I groan. He totally saw what Captain and I just did in the elevator.
"Watch yourself, McCoy," Captain growls, standing from his chair, suddenly angry.
McCoy puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Told you I deleted it, man. Not like I fucking watched it."
"Cool it," I snap to Captain. He takes a breath and then slowly sits down, his eyes still on McCoy, clearly pissed that someone saw our make-out session.
"Sorry, I'm a little on edge," he tells McCoy. I have to fight a smile, because I know why he's so on edge. Me. I know what he wants from me. A clear commitment that I'm in this for real. Not playing a push-and-pull game anymore. And I want to give him that so bad. The past few days have been some of the best of my life. The tension drains from the room, and we all go back to our computers.
I respond to a few emails, then check in on Mal's schedule. I'm normally on her detail when she leaves the building, but she's just been going from work to home. She doesn't need me when her driver is our security, so I haven't had much to do.
When I pull up my calendar, the floor drops out from below me. How could I have forgotten? The date stares back at me, and a cloud forms in front of my eyes. It's the anniversary of the day I lost my mom.
"Fuck," I whisper to myself, dropping my head and taking a few breaths. I get myself under control, because I'm not going to lose it here at my desk.
I told myself I was going to enjoy Captain while I could have him. That when he finds out what I want to do to my father, he'll leave me. Hell, I don't even know if I'll get to stay around after. If I make it through, I might have to run. It's why I kept him at arm's length from the beginning, because we are two different people who come from two different worlds.
But somehow when I decided I would take what I could from Captain, he'd taken me. I've been living on this little fluffy cloud, forgetting all about my mother and how I have a duty to repay what was done to her. How could I do that to her? I owe her justice. It's like I'm back in that room watching her die, standing there helpless all over again. Then the night flashes through my mind, playing scene by scene.
I close my eyes tightly. I don't know how long I sit there making myself watch it over and over again in my head. Reminding myself of what I did.
Nothing.
I'd done nothing to save her. And what am I doing now to avenge her death?
I pull out my cell phone and text Mal.
I need a favor.
Chapter Sixteen
Ryan
SOMETHING IS WRONG with Paige. I've been watching her all day, and she's not herself. I've gotten her alone twice to ask her, but she brushes it off, saying she has a headache. I'm not sure I believe her. A mask has dropped over her face, making her harder to read than normal. By the end of the day, she isn't any better, and I'm starting to worry and feel completely on edge. Every muscle in my body is strung tight as I wonder what's going on in that head of hers. She's been playful these past few days as I pulled the real Paige out piece by piece, but that playfulness has all but disappeared now.