His(55)

Another sharp breeze sent the pines above us shuddering, and pollen rained down, blown sideways by the wind. The sun glittered off of the golden pinpricks, making the air seem like an ethereal galaxy of dust. If I had allergies, I’d be horrified - my old roommate had hated pollen and refused to go outside in the spring. But I was mesmerized.

We walked slowly. The path was only wide enough for one person, and Gav let me walk ahead of him. My eyes darted from one treasure to another. The amber resin glowing like gemstones in the cracks of the pine branches. The bright yellow ovals of fungus growing on logs, their edges wrinkled and neon. I let my hand trail down the rough bark of a redwood, my fingertips touching every crack and crevice. A line of ants curved around the trunk, and as I stopped and watched, I could see the whole tree’s surface moving with activity.

At my feet, something moved, and I jumped back, startled, right into Gavriel’s arms. He waited for me to find my balance, then dropped his hands away.

“It’s just a newt.”

“A what?”

Gavriel bent down to pick up the wriggling creature.

“They’re everywhere out here, especially after a rain. Be careful you don’t step on them. They usually don’t start moving until you come too close.”

“He’s a cutie. Hey, cutie.”

“Want to hold him?”

Gav held the newt out to me, daring me with his eyebrows to take it. Boldly, I reached out and he dropped the little animal into my hand.

Immediately it began to wiggle around. I held it in my hand, my thumb pressed lightly on its back to keep it from wriggling out of my grasp. Its skin was nearly translucent, and I could feel its belly rise and fall against my palm. Its little feet were wet against my skin.

“Looks like you found yourself a pet.”

“Slimy,” I said. “Not the best pet to cuddle with.”

“Better than a banana slug.”

I laughed and crouched down, letting the little newt crawl off of my hand. It flopped belly-first into the wet leaves and kept wriggling away.

“Be free, little newt!”

“So much for a pet.”

“He can still be my pet. I’ll come back and bring it some… what do newts eat, anyway?”

“Insects?” Gav shrugged.

“Yuck. Well, never mind that, then.”

We kept walking, me in front. On the sides of the path, I noticed all of the little newts I’d never noticed before. And I was careful not to step on any of them.

It was so weird. I’d spent every day for the past three years walking through the arboretum on my way to work, but I’d never noticed anything about the trees there. Here, though, it was like every new tree had something amazing about it - the curve of the branches, the way the leaves fluttered like clusters of green wings on the ends of their twigs.

I stopped in the middle of a clearing, and Gav’s footsteps stopped behind me. In front of us, a massive redwood stretched up to the sky. I tilted my head back and looked up at the tree. The bark smelled so good, damp and fragrant, and the only sound was the rustle of the pines around us.

Why had I never noticed how beautiful they were before?

I began to cry. I didn’t know why - I wasn’t sad. On the contrary, the huge tree in front of me filled my heart with joy, so much that I felt incapable of holding it all in. I was outside, I was free if only for a moment, and this tree stretched out above me, making the whole world of humans seem utterly ridiculous and insignificant.

Gav didn’t try to comfort me. He didn’t touch me, and we walked in silence the whole way back to the house. I felt so calm, as though nothing mattered, not even the mess I’d created for myself. Nothing mattered, because those trees would keep on growing forever, long after I was dead and gone. They would keep being beautiful.

At the front door, I paused and turned to look back once at the waving pines. He held the door open for me patiently.

I looked up at him. His eyes were calm like the ocean. I didn’t know how to tell him that he’d given me the best present I’d ever received. I didn’t know how to tell him what I’d realized.

Instead, I leaned forward on tiptoe and kissed him gently on the lips.

The first time I’d kissed him, he had kissed me back deeply. This time, though, he let me guide the kiss, and when I stepped back he didn’t press any farther.

“Thank you,” I whispered, and went inside.



Gav

What was she doing to me, this girl? I did not know whether to trust her when she kissed me. My plan had been to seduce her, but now that it seemed to be happening I was completely lost. I didn’t like how it made me feel - like I cared whether or not her feelings for me were real.