His(48)
“I don’t care,” I said, my voice shaking. “Don’t kill him. Don’t leave me again today. Don’t do it.”
“Kitten—”
“You asked what I want. That’s what I want.”
Anger clouded his face. He stood and picked up my plate, stacked it atop his, and dropped both of them into the sink. My shoulders jerked at the noise.
“Upstairs.”
He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out of the kitchen. His face was dark, as dark as it had been after I’d tried to kill him with the razor. He pulled me back up the stairs and into the bedroom. My heart was racing. What had I done?
“Lay down.”
I sat on the bed, but I wasn’t quick enough. He shoved me down and looped the rope around my wrists.
“Gav, you promised—”
“You’re hurting me with this.”
“But you promised—”
“For today. Yes. I won’t kill him today. There’s your trade.” He spat the words bitterly as he tied my ankles roughly, not caring how tight they were.
“Where are you going?”
“What does it matter to you?”
“Don’t lie to me.” I thought of my parents, about them asking me to come home. I didn’t have a home. I never had a home, not with them, not with anybody. And not here.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said.
“Gav, don’t kill him! Don’t kill anyone, don’t—”
But he was already gone.
Gav
The shadow taunted me. I could go anyway, lie to her and go for the kill. It was a man who deserved to die, and I did not deserve to be like this. The shadow clouded all of my vision as I banged down the stairs, got the ax out from the hallway closet. I slammed the door shut behind me.
In the forest, the birds stopped chirping as I walked into the clearing. I dragged a small fallen tree over to the chopping block, hacked it into logs. Put the first log up onto the block.
“Trade. This isn’t a trade.”
My arms swung the ax. The blade arced up and then down, splintering the log into two pieces. The noise shattered the silence of the forest and I heard the birds flying off their perches. I replaced the log and swung again.
“This is revenge. This is her teasing me. Stupid. I could kill her if I wanted to.”
I could pretend that my anger was due to injustice. That I wanted to kill this man to save the people around him. But there was no saving anyone in this world, and all I wanted was for the damn shadow to go away.
Splinters rained down. Like bones splintering. I imagined my next victim on the chopping block, pleading for his life. Rage boiled up inside of me and I raised the ax, brought it down with such force that it stuck in the block. I put my foot up against the log and rocked the handle until the ax came loose again.
The logs went quickly. I chopped and chopped until the muscles in my arms ached and there was nothing left to split. The world was almost completely black, the shadow taking me over with a desire for relief. Cutting wood was no solution. I gathered the chopped logs in my arms, piled them up near the house in a dozen trips. Overloading myself each time. I could feel my back already beginning to hurt from the weight of carrying so much. Good. The pain would drive the shadow back, maybe. Give me something else to focus on.
Back in the house, up the stairs. In bed I found her tied up, her neck pale and tempting. The walls dripped with shadow and I clenched my fists, trying not to kill her.
She looked terrified as I came forward, stripping off my shirt. This was her choice, her decision.
“Gavriel?”
Her voice echoed in my brain, pinging back and forth inside. Was that who I was? A killer? A psychopath? What did she want to make of me? I bent my head to hers and saw my reflection in her eyes. A murderer, yes. Not today, though.
“You wanted me before, kitten. I hope you want me now.” My hands went to my pants, where I was already hard. Wanting her. Needing her. If I couldn’t have the release I sorely needed, I would have to distract myself elsewhere.
“Gav—”
“You don’t want me to kill him?” I hissed. “Fine. But I’m going to do whatever I want to you.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Kat
“This is your choice,” he said, dropping his underwear on the ground next to the bed. “You understand the decision you’ve made?”
I looked up at him. He scowled down at me, looking angry for disrupting for his plan. And looking… scared?
“Gav—”
“Tell me to go and I’ll go. Anytime. Understand?”
I nodded mutely. He stood at the bedside, his cock twitching, half-erect. I hadn’t seen him in full light before, but looking at him now I wondered if I would be able to take him inside of me. He was huge. I felt something inside me twist in painful desire.