Highland Courage(59)
“We are. Ye’ll ride with me.” Then leaning forward so only she could hear, he whispered, “If I am spending the afternoon with ye but we can’t be in our bed, I don’t want ye any farther away than my lap.” He laughed, watching her blush an even darker shade as he lifted her into the saddle. He mounted behind her, pulling her against him. After wrapping an arm around her waist, they set out riding to the rolling hills of the open heath west of Cnocreidh. When he slowed his mount, the guardsmen fell back a discrete distance.
He stopped near a large flat rock on top of a small bluff. Dismounting, he lifted her to the ground as well. “I have always liked this spot. It’s wild and open—and very private.”
“It’s lovely,” she agreed.
He led her to the rock and spread a plaid for them to sit on.
“Now tell me what has ye upset.”
“I’m not upset.”
“Aye, ye are. Ye became tense the moment I told ye about Rowan’s wedding plans.”
“I was just surprised, that’s all. I thought the wedding would be at Carraigile.”
“Ye said that, but I know ye well enough by now to know the difference between ‘surprised’ and ‘worried.’ Ye don’t become tense and taciturn when ye are surprised.”
“I’m sure my da isn’t happy about Rowan staying at Duncurra.”
“Aye, he probably isn’t, but I’m fairly sure your da’s opinion isn’t what’s bothering ye, either.”
Mairead sighed and stared off across the open moor for a moment before answering. “Rowan is marrying Eara Fraser.”
“Aye, but that is old news.”
“I assumed the wedding would be at Carraigile. I knew there I would be surrounded by my family and clan—I would be, well…safe.”
“Sweetling, ye will be safe wherever the wedding is. Ye will be with me.”
“Aye, but what if—what if…”
“What if the lads who attacked ye are among the guests?”
“Aye,” she whispered.
“Mairead, I have sworn to ye I will protect ye. Ye will never be alone. It is likely I will be with ye the entire time, but if perchance I cannot be, at least two of my guardsmen will always be at your side. If ye see one of the men who attacked ye, ye will tell me and I will handle it.”
“Aye, I know ye will.”
“Do ye?”
“Aye. It’s just—I can’t explain, really. I know ye will protect me, but what if something happens and ye can’t? I’m a coward, I know I am—”
“Mairead, stop. I understand what ye are saying, but ye are not a coward. Those men violated ye, they hurt ye, and ye were little more than a child at the time. Even though they didn’t rape ye in the strictest sense of the word, that doesn’t make their actions any less cruel or wrong. Ye have every right to feel afraid of them. Ye should be cautious, but caution doesn’t make ye a coward. Ye are brave in so many ways, but ye are smart too. Ye are smart enough to know that while ye have an inner strength to rival any warrior’s, ye are but a slip of a lass. Ye believe if something terrible happened and ye ever had to protect yourself, ye wouldn’t be able to.”
“Aye,” she whispered.
“Then we have to fix that.”
“What do ye mean?”
“Although if it is within my power ye will never have to defend yourself, ye need to know if pressed, ye could.”
“But, Tadhg, look at me. I can’t defend myself, it just isn’t possible. Ye said it yourself.”
“Nay, love, I said ye believe ye can’t protect yourself, but ye can. I can teach ye.” She cast him a disbelieving look, but he just smiled. “Have ye never heard of David and Goliath? David was just a lad when he brought down the giant Goliath.”
“With a weapon—a slingshot. I don’t think a slingshot would do me much good even if I had the skill to use one.”
“Nay, it probably wouldn’t, but David went into battle armed with more than just a weapon. He had wits and confidence on his side. David was fully aware of both his strengths and his weaknesses, but he had the confidence to use his knowledge to his advantage. Goliath was so arrogantly sure of his own brute strength he failed to see the danger presented by a young lad with a few small stones.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that David had the ability to use those few small stones, and I have no ability at all to defend myself.”
“And that, love, is what I am going to teach ye. If any man ever attacks ye again, he will be like Goliath, arrogantly confident in his strength over yours. Ye, however, will be armed with the knowledge of his weaknesses.”