Hidden(43)

I feel the bed dip and immediately miss his fingers as he withdraws them. I open my eyes and watch him slide my underwear over my hips and down my legs and then he does the same with his. I lift my t-shirt over my head and toss it in the same pile on the floor.

His hands wrap around my knees, dragging me down the bed until my head rests flat on the mattress and then he lowers himself over me. I open my legs wider to accommodate him and can feel his hard length against my pubic bone. I immediately push my hips up to feel him press against me. My eyes roll as he rubs against those sensitive nerves. “Oh God.”

Dillon dips his head and takes my breast into his mouth and sucks. His mouth is warm and wet. His lips are soft. I hold his head to me as he laps at my breasts. My nipples pucker and my muscles clench with need.

“Dillon, can we? Now?”

His head pops up and searches my face. “Are you sure? I don’t know….”

“I’m okay Dillon. I’m ready. I know it will hurt. I know what to expect. I’m ready.” I’ve read so much about girls losing their virginity. I know it’s not going to be beautiful the first time.

He reaches over me to open the drawer to the nightstand and pulls out a foil packet.

“Can I?” I want to put it on him. He tears the package open, kneels between my legs and watches me as I roll it over him. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s a little intimidating. We both smile nervously at each other.

Dillon lowers himself back over me and I wrap my arms around his back. His skin is clammy and he’s shaking.

“You’re shaking.”

“Yeah.” He laughs. “I’m nervous.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, aren’t you?”

“Very. It’s my first time. Why are you nervous?”

“I just want to make it good for you.”

My eyes start to burn as I try to hold back the tears. I pull him closer to me. Our chests touch. Our clammy skin sticks together. He softly kisses my lips and then rests his forehead against mine as he slowly tries to push himself inside of me. His biceps shake as he holds himself over my body. My legs automatically try to close at the intrusion and my muscles tense.

“Open your legs, relax your muscles,” he pants into my mouth.

I let my knees fall to the side, squeeze my eyes closed and focus on relaxing.

“Look at me Amy.”

I open my eyes and we hold each other’s gazes.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he thrusts into me. I scream. He drops his head to my shoulder and holds himself still. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay.” Oh God, it burns. I blink the tears back and bite my lip until the pain subsides. Dillon stays completely still, letting me adjust. I squirm under him letting him know I’m ready and then I feel his lips and his warm breath on my neck. He licks up the side of my neck and sucks on the sensitive spot beneath my ear as he starts to move his body over me.

“Dillon,” I whisper. He lifts his face back up to look at me as we both find a slow, gentle rhythm. His eyes stay focused on mine. Our lips touch. Our breaths collide. His body presses harder against mine as he moves back and forth, his hard chest rubbing against my aroused nipples, our pelvises grinding. A small gasp escapes my mouth as I feel that electric jolt buzz through my body.

“Dillon.” I grip the back of his neck and moan into his shoulder as my muscles tense. My knees squeeze his hips. His pace quickens. He pants louder. His body breaks out in a sweat as he moves faster and pushes deeper. He grunts into my neck and then stills as he comes.

“Oh shit, Amy.” Dillon pulls out and scoots his body down so he can rest his head on my naked chest. I can’t breathe. His body is so heavy, but I don’t want him to move. His hot breath warms my skin as he breathes heavily against my chest. I can feel his heart beating rapidly against me. I tangle my hands in his wet hair as we lay there, unable to form words.

I think we both nod off for a few minutes until I feel him peel himself from my body, our skin seems to not want to let go. I immediately miss his warmth as he hovers over me.

“Are you okay?” His eyes dart back and forth over mine.

I nod and his lips cover mine in a sensual kiss that causes my belly to clench. He stops. His lips rest on mine, his eyes are closed, and he’s tense. I watch him, waiting. I think he’s going to say something, but then he doesn’t. He disappears into the bathroom.

Was he going to say he loved me? Why didn’t he? I feel a little insecure now. I love him. I know I love him and that was beautiful. It was beautiful to me. I hope he felt the same way.

I curl up under the covers and wait for Dillon to come back. I can’t relax and close my eyes until I feel his arm come over me and rest on my belly. He snuggles right up to my back, kisses the back of my shoulder and whispers good night. I thread my fingers through his over my belly and close my eyes as I slowly sink into a deep sleep.