His Instant Heir(26)

"Dec?"

He heard the quiver in her voice and knew she must be sensing what he  was feeling. The trepidation after all these weeks of building up to  tonight. Now that he was here, now that he'd gotten what he wanted, he  was afraid to hold on to it. Hold on to her, he corrected himself.

Cari was different than anyone else he'd ever known, and that couldn't  be clearer than it was at this moment. He took one step toward her and  she smiled at him, but he saw a hint of sadness in it. He was so afraid  that he couldn't be the man she needed him to be.

It wasn't just that emotions were foreign to him, it was that he had no  way to balance the one thing he'd always wanted-Montrose acceptance-with  the one thing he just realized he couldn't survive without. Her love.

Love was ephemeral and always just out of his grasp. She might be  looking at him right now with love in her eyes, but how long could that  last? Would she still feel that way when her sisters were out of a job  and her family's legacy was in ruins around her?

He doubted it. How could he be enough to keep her happy? How could he be  the one thing that gave her hope when he knew he wasn't lovable and had  never been enough for anyone else?

* * *

Cari woke up early as she usually did and rolled over to look at Dec as  he lay sleeping next to her. He'd woken her once in the night to make  love and she'd enjoyed it and having him here. She didn't get a chance  to tell him how she felt about him because she could tell that he was  struggling.

If she had to guess, she'd say he wasn't sure how to handle his own  feelings. From everything she knew of his childhood, she knew that he  hadn't grown up in a loving home, and part of her wanted to just make up  for every second of that. But she knew she couldn't.

She leaned over and touched the stubble on his cheek with one finger. He  didn't look so tough and ready to take on the world sleeping like this.  It reminded her of how tender his face had looked after he'd made love  to her outside.

It was hard for her to reconcile, but there was vulnerability in Dec  that she hadn't realized was there. She rolled over before she did  something silly, like drawing hearts on his chest with her finger and  then waking him up to make love again.

She wanted to see what he was like this morning; if the gamble she was  taking with her heart was going to pay off or if she was going to end up  broken and alone again.

She shook her head as she got out of bed, grabbed her robe and left the  room. There was a big board meeting this morning at the Playtone Games  office building, where Dec would be giving his results to her and her  sisters as well as the executive committee from Playtone. She and her  sisters had a mock-up demo of their IOS Christmas game ready to show  them and were hoping to use that as leverage to keep the Infinity brand  alive.

She checked on DJ, who was awake and playing with his stuffed animal in his crib. "Morning, little man."

"Mama," he said. She got him out of the crib, changed his diaper and  dressed him for the day before going into the kitchen to feed him. She  heard the shower come on in her bathroom and knew that Dec was up.

She told herself it was silly to be nervous, yet the longer she sat  there waiting for him the more that feeling grew. She finished with DJ  and took the baby and her mug of coffee down the hall to the master  bedroom. DJ squirmed to get down and she set him on the floor to go into  her closet and get her clothes for the day. She heard the door open to  the bathroom.

"Dada," DJ said.

Cari came out of the closet and looked over at Dec. In this moment, they  felt like a real family. Except as he looked at her, she realized he  didn't look restless at all. And she felt the tinge of doubt in her  heart. She loved him; surely he felt the same way about her.

Why would he have stayed last night if he didn't?

She had no answers, and for the first time she recognized that love made  her vulnerable. She needed something from Dec that he might not be able  to give her. And it wasn't fair of her to ask for it. Love wasn't the  sunshiny emotion she'd hoped it would be. And given the way that her  relationship with Dec had developed, why was that a surprise?

"Morning," he said, his voice gruff with sleep. "I used your razor to shave. I hope that's okay."                       
       
           



       

"Yes, of course it is. Um … are you coming to my office this morning or just going straight to Playtone?"

"I have to go home and change first," he said. "But then I'll just go to Playtone. Cari, today is going to be a long day."

She saw the weight of the coming day on his shoulders. She took a deep  breath. "I know it's going to be hard on everyone. But I've been working  on those financial targets that Allan set. I think you might be  surprised by some of the things I have to show you today."

He gave her a vague half smile. "That will be good. Do you need anything from me for your presentation?"

"No," she said. "Why would I?"

He shook his head. "Kell is going to be a tough customer, honey.  Whatever presentation you make, it had better be solid and have  documentation to back it up."

"It will," she said. "Do you think it's going to be bad news?"

"There are going to be reductions," he said. "But I can't say any more than that."

She nodded and she felt a knot of fear in her stomach. It didn't sound  good for Infinity, but she was realistic. From the beginning she had the  feeling that she and her sisters had been on the chopping block. She  could only hope the new game and revenue stream she'd found would be  enough to give them some more time in their jobs.

"Don't worry about it. I know you are just doing your job."

"Do you need me to watch DJ while you shower?" he asked.

"Do you have the time?" she asked. "Normally I bring him in with me, but I got him dressed to save time."

"I'll watch him," Dec said.

She started toward the bathroom, but then stopped and looked over at Dec. "I wish we could make the world go away."

"Me, too. But I think we both knew from the beginning that was never  going to happen. Everything between us is going to be influenced by your  sisters, my cousins and the feud our grandfathers started."

"I know. I was just wishing life would be simpler. When the dust settles  from the meeting today, we have to talk. I meant to discuss something  with you last night, but I got distracted."

"By me?" he asked, coming over and wrapping his arms around her waist  and pulling her back against him. "Want to be distracted again?"

"I'd love to, but I think I'm going to need to be on time in order to impress the Playtone board."

"Yes, you are. Just relax when you get in there and let them see how much you care about the company. And show off your smarts."

"How do I do that?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder at him.

"By being yourself."

"I'll try."

"You'll do it. I know you will," he said, giving her a tender kiss before nudging her toward the bathroom.

She had her shower and Dec left when she did. She headed toward the  Infinity Games offices and he went home to change. She couldn't help but  feel that even though he'd stayed the night with her, he'd pulled back  from her a little bit.

* * *

Dec didn't head to the Playtone Games office building after he'd been to  his yacht and gotten dressed for the day. Instead he detoured out of  his way and went to the Beverly Hills mansion he'd grown up in. As he  fumbled in the glove box for the remote control to the large gate that  surrounded the place, he sat there remembering the first day he'd  arrived here.

He'd been four, so his memories were hazy. He only knew that he had a  new family, but he hadn't been told that they were wealthy, so the big  house had been a bit of a shock. The wrought-iron gates with the ornate L  on them for his mother's maiden name, Lingle, had opened just as slowly  then as they did today. And as he gunned the powerful Maserati engine  and shot up the driveway, he realized that no matter what happened  today, he wasn't going to change inside.

He had never felt like a Montrose, partly because of the adoption, but  as he got out of his car and walked to the front door of the mansion, he  realized the other reason was his mother.

He'd asked her once when he was sixteen and she'd been railing against  his dad why she'd married him, and Helene had said that she'd been  fooled by love.

He opened the front door of the mansion. It was quiet with just the whir  of the air-conditioning, and it smelled of fresh lemons. Though it sat  empty, he paid a staff to clean it once a week.

With his mother's words echoing in his head, he wandered through the big  house where he'd grown up and realized that part of his fear was that  Cari was playing him. There had been something almost desperate in her  tone when she'd asked about the meeting later in the day. They both knew  that Infinity Games was history and soon there would be little left  from Gregory Chandler's original company.