He continued to explore her feminine secrets but was frustrated by the fabric of her pants, which trapped his hand. He used his free arm to lift her off the desk. "Shove your pants off."
She did as he asked and when they were on the tops of her thighs he set her back down on the desk and lowered her pants and panties to the floor, removing her shoes at the same time. He put his hands on her thighs and pushed her legs open, leaned down over her. He breathed in the feminine scent of her and then dropped nibbling kisses on the inside of her thigh, moving higher until he bit lightly at her hip bone.
She shifted and put one hand on his head and the other on her stomach. He saw that her belly had a slight curve to it now where before it had been flat, and he noticed the faint stretch marks on her skin. Every sign that she'd carried his baby just turned him on more and more. It enhanced his need to claim her again.
His child had left its sign on her and now he wanted to, as well. He lowered his head to bite the inside of her thigh and then he licked at the spot and kissed it gently before turning his head to her center. He'd not forgotten the intimate taste of her and he craved it again.
He parted her with his fingers and rubbed his tongue over the taut bud there. Then he suckled her gently into his mouth. She shifted under him, and he held her still as he continued to feast at her most intimate flesh and then slid his hand under her thigh to trace the opening of her body again. He entered her with just the tip of one finger, and her hips jerked against him until he slid it farther inside her and then brought it back out.
He moved his face lower and thrust his tongue deep inside of her. Her hands came to his head and held him to her as her hips canted upward toward him. He knew she was on the edge. Could taste it on her and feel it in the way her body was softening for him. He pulled back and pushed his finger in deep, and then up to find her G-spot.
She made a high-pitched keening sound as her hips thrust against him and he felt her body tighten around his finger. He kept his hand on her and in her, rocking it against her until she collapsed backward on the desk. He stood up, looking down at her, and smiled at her as she opened her dazed eyes.
"Thank you for that," she said.
"It was my pleasure," he said.
"No, it was mine. It feels like a lifetime since I've felt like that," she said to him.
"How long has it been?" he asked.
"Eighteen months," she said, looking up at him with those clear blue eyes of hers. "I've been sort of busy, and most men aren't interested in a new mom."
"Good." He didn't want any other man in the picture. He felt possessive toward both her and DJ. They were his.
His.
Yes, he decided. She was his and he didn't have a clue about how to keep her or what he should do with her beyond sex, but he knew that he wasn't going to let her go. It didn't matter that she was way too innocent for a man like him. He had claimed her. Well, almost.
She reached for his manhood, which was still rock hard, and stroked him with her hand. As she leaned down toward him, he felt the brush of her breath against him and the touch of her tongue. Then, with a shiver down his spine, he felt a drop of his essence slip past his control. She licked it up and then took him into her mouth. He put his hand on the back of her head, stroking her blond hair.
He wanted to enjoy every second of her like this. He tried to pull back to warn her that she needed to stop, but she put her hands on his backside and kept him where he was. Her mouth moved over him until his hips jerked forward as his orgasm rocked through him.
She took him deeper into her mouth until he was totally spent. When he pulled back he didn't know what to say, but Cari didn't give him a chance. She just sat up, pulled him into her arms and rested her head right over his heart. And he held her in his arms, letting all the worries of whether he was the right man for this woman disappear. For tonight at least he wanted to enjoy just being in her arms.
* * *
Cari didn't have words right now or the strength to pretend like this was nothing more than sex. And she was so afraid that Dec would just leave her like he had the last time. She hadn't realized until this moment that the fear was still inside her, just under the surface of the confidence that she now recognized as bravado instead of strength.
She twisted her head and looked away, hoping to keep her emotions hidden from Dec. She saw DJ's car seat and it brought back the fact that the last time she'd been in this man's arms her entire life had changed. And though she was on the pill, she wasn't ready to risk another unplanned pregnancy.
She shifted away from him and hopped off the desk, gathering her underwear and slacks with as much dignity as she could muster.
"I'm going to pop into the bathroom. Be right back," she said, walking away before he had a chance to respond.
She closed the door to her private washroom and locked it before putting down the toilet seat and sitting down. A million different emotions roiled through her. Of course, pleasure still saturated every nerve of her body, but she had to keep blinking to stop the tears that burned her eyes from falling.
She wanted tonight to be real. Not just the sex but the dinner and the quiet conversation. She wanted it badly with every part of her being and it worried her that she might just be making it into something it wasn't.
What if she walked back out there and he was casual and blasé about what had just happened? How was she going to play it? She wasn't cool or sophisticated when it came to him. Any other man … Well, hell, any other man wouldn't have made her feel what Dec did. It was just him, and she was slowly coming to realize that she wanted more from him than she'd believed she could get.
He was trying.
But she needed more than trying if she felt this strongly. She needed him to be someone that she wasn't sure he could be. And she had the sinking feeling that she was setting herself up for heartache.
There was a knock on the door.
"You okay?"
"Yes, sorry. Just a few more minutes."
"I've got to go wash up. And then I'm going to go and get DJ from the nursery. That will give you some time to yourself."
"Okay."
She needed both the time and the continued privacy. She stood up, realizing she couldn't hide in here forever. She washed up, got dressed again. Her hair had slipped from her ponytail and she took it down and then slowly put it back up as she stared at herself in the mirror.
In movies and on TV people always seemed to convey conviction and determination with a look, but she couldn't. The more she tried, the more fearful she was that tonight had been a mistake.
It was too soon for things to be sexual between them. He was still adjusting to having a son and she was still adjusting to him being back in her life.
She opened the door and found the room empty. She cleaned up the dishes from their dinner and noted that Dec had left the baby carrier behind. She put it back up on the table and got all of her stuff together so she was ready to go home when they returned.
Her cell phone rang and she glanced at the caller ID to see that it was Emma. "Hey, Em."
"Hello, am I interrupting anything important?"
"No. I just finished a late dinner and am getting ready to head home. What's up?"
"I was thinking more about the idea you emailed me this afternoon, the one about getting a second game out in this quarter so that we can increase profit to meet the financial targets that Allan set."
"I've been thinking about it, too," she said. It had been playing second fiddle to Dec all afternoon and evening. And Emma's call was just what she needed to get her mind back where it needed to be.
"Well, how do you feel about contacting Fiona? You know she was on that matchmaking show last year with Alex Cannon. You are still friends with her, right?"
Hardly, Cari thought. She'd met Fiona McCaw-Cannon at a UN summer camp when they were sixteen and for three years they had been pen pals. Not exactly the kind of relationship that warranted a call to ask her new husband to come bail them out with an award-winning game design. "I'll see what I can do, but I'm not counting on that. I was thinking that we have our IOS team take our existing first-person-shooter game and turn it into a Christmas game for the iPad and Android tablets."
"How will that work?" Emma asked.
"I thought we could change the target into a house or a tree and then have the game player decorate with a holiday gun? It's just a first thought, but it would be a holiday game, and that is a lucrative market."
"Yes, I like it. I'm going to send a meeting request to you and our project board. This sounds like the beginnings of just what we need. Use our existing assets."