"Sure," Dec said. He might be new to this dad thing, but with Cari close by he figured he could handle it. Besides, there was little in his life that he hadn't been able to figure out. And this was no different. When he'd first struck out on his own he'd had nothing but his wits to guide him, having refused to touch the money his parents had wanted to give him, and his desire to prove himself. And he'd done a damned fine job of it.
"Do you need a hand?" she asked as she came back with the yogurt.
He'd been staring at the car seat instead of putting the baby in it. He got him in and fastened the straps before turning to the dinner he'd brought for them. "Mind if I close the door?"
"Not at all," Cari said.
She started spoon-feeding DJ mouthfuls of yogurt, and the little man didn't look too thrilled with that. "Are you sure that's good for him? He's a boy."
Cari rolled her eyes as she looked over at him. "I think I know what my son needs."
He held his hands up in a truce motion and went back to setting up their dinner. "I guess I'm a little jealous of all the bonding you've already done with our son and I hardly know anything about him. I didn't even know he'd like yogurt."
"Well, he loves chicken, too," Cari said. "I can see you have a lot to catch up on. Are you sure you want to put in the effort?"
He looked at her and wondered what she was getting at. The first stirrings of anger moved through him, but then he looked down into her eyes and saw an emotion that looked like fear in them. He had to remember that he'd left her. After one night.
"What are you thinking?" she asked.
"That I wish you'd told me about him before he was born," Dec said with all the emotion he felt. "I feel like you cheated me."
"I know I did," she said. "I can't even say I'd do it differently now. Given that we had a one-night stand and you weren't easy to find … it just seemed like maybe I was meant to keep DJ for myself."
"I can understand that," he said, and that was a big part of why he was conflicted. He also felt that she was fully justified to have some doubts where he was concerned. "I do want to. I don't know if I'm changing or what this is, Cari, and you have every right to question me. Because every time you do it just reinforces my own desire to be here for my son."
She gave him a tentative smile. "Good. I intend to."
She wiped DJ's face and then went back to the refrigerator, heated the milk in the microwave and returned with a bottle.
"Is he on formula?" Dec asked.
"No. It's milk I expressed earlier," she said. "It's easier to keep to my work schedule if I do it this way."
She handed the bottle to DJ who took it and started sucking on it. A few minutes later his eyes started to drift shut. "He's like clockwork. After he eats he needs a nap."
"I guess that's a good thing for us tonight. Our dinner is ready," Dec said.
"Let me move his seat to the floor where I can keep an eye on him while we are eating," she said.
Dec watched as she got their son comfortable, putting a stuffed toy next to him and tucking a blanket around him. "I hate to leave him in the seat, but when I'm working late it's easier on him if he sleeps in here until I'm ready to go."
"Do you work late often?" Dec asked.
"Well, not to make you feel guilty-"
"You can't."
"I have only been working long hours since we got wind of the takeover," she continued as if he hadn't interrupted.
"I'm sorry you've had to. I could have warned you there was nothing that was going to keep Kell from his goal once he fixed on it."
"I'm not surprised. Stubbornness seems to be a Montrose trait."
"I'm a Montrose in name only."
"You were raised by them, Dec. Why do you always point out that you are different?" she asked.
"I've always felt different," he said. "It wasn't anything anyone said to me per se, just my own feeling that I had to work a lot harder to prove myself."
"Why? I've done some searching on your family and without your mom's money Thomas Montrose wouldn't have had any chance of reviving his game empire."
Dec looked over at her. It was odd to him, but it felt like she had just defended him and his right to be a Montrose. It wasn't like she'd said anything he hadn't already known, but hearing someone else with that opinion made the difference.
"That's all true, but I always felt like I didn't fit in," he said.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't keep DJ from you because you didn't 'fit' my idea of a father. I just wasn't sure enough of myself to invite any other complications into the mix."
He nodded. He could see that. She was a good mom and her love for DJ was evident. He hoped someday that he'd be part of that circle of people she cared for.
* * *
Cari learned a lot about Dec as they dined after she'd taken DJ down to the nursery where the day-care staff were on extended hours. They had cribs and DJ was much more comfortable sleeping there than in his car seat. Plus she wanted a chance to have Dec to herself and figure out what she was going to do with him.
It was as if it were their first date. He didn't talk any more about his past. But she felt as if for the first time they were on the same track.
There was still an undercurrent of desire between them. Every time she looked over at him and caught him watching her she felt her blood flow a little heavier. And when their hands brushed, tingles ran up her arm and sent a delicious shiver through her entire body. But tonight was about more than sex. It was about getting to know each other. She wondered if perhaps it was fated that they do things out of order.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts.
"That I'm finally getting to know the real guy you are," she said.
"That's not true. You've seen me naked. You know the real me," he said.
She shook her head. "You're wrong. Today I noticed this for the first time."
She reached over and ran her forefinger over the small scar under his left eye. "Where did you get that?"
He brought his hand up and caught hers, carrying it to his mouth for a brief kiss. "That scar is from when I was nine. It was the first time I went camping with my grandfather and Kell and Allan. They'd both been going with him since they were six, but Mother and Grandfather had been feuding so I hadn't been able to attend until that summer."
"What were they feuding about?" she asked. Seemed old Thomas had a beef with everyone.
"Her money," Dec said. "So when we got to Bear-"
"Big Bear?" she asked. "My maternal grandparents had a house up there."
"Yes, Big Bear," he said. "Am I going to be able to tell this story?"
"Sure, but with lots of interruptions," she said with a grin.
"So we got up there and my cousins were already expert snowboarders, but I had never been on one. I knew how to ski because my mother insisted I learn when we were in St. Moritz the previous winter. But Kell said skiing was for wimps so I asked for a snowboard and then proceeded to lose control and run into a tree. I had a lot of damage to the left side of my face and had emergency cosmetic surgery. This scar is all that's left."
She hadn't been expecting that. She reached over and took his hand in hers and rubbed her fingers over his knuckles. She felt for that little boy that Dec had been. Desperate to prove himself to the Montroses and find his place. "Can you snowboard now?"
"Nope. Just ski and I don't care if Kell thinks it's for wimps. He felt bad because he'd sort of dared me into taking the snowboard."
"You were just boys. Your grandfather should have stepped in."
"He thought that kind of thing was good for us. He said we should always stay hungry."
"Well, I don't agree with that. I'm not raising DJ that way."
"Good. I'm not complaining about the way I was raised, but I want DJ to have a more comfortable childhood than I did."
"Is that why you are trying to have a relationship with me?" she asked.
"Part of it. I don't want him to ever think that I didn't want him. I know how I felt knowing that my biological parents … Well, that's old news. What about you? Any scars?"
She didn't want to let the subject change. She wanted to know more about Dec and dig into his psyche, but she could tell he wasn't going to answer anything else about his past.
"I have one scar and if you guess where it is-"