But he knew that wouldn't satisfy him. Knowing he had a son was making him think of things that had never seemed important or that he'd never thought would be applicable to him. Suddenly he wanted to visit that mansion in Beverly Hills that he'd inherited when his mother had died eight years earlier. Suddenly he wanted to hold his son in his arms and show him how to be tough enough-no, to protect him so he didn't have to be tough enough to survive in the world. He knew that he wanted that little boy that he'd only seen on Cari's phone to grow up without the issues and fears that had dominated his own life.
"I'm sorry, Cari. You probably did the right thing by keeping our son a secret," he said.
"I did the only thing I could," she said.
"Now that we both know we have a son, I will be able to help you with the decisions," he said.
"I don't need help," she said.
"What do you need?" he asked, knowing he was going to have to be cooperative and to try to convince her he possessed whatever traits she deemed necessary for her son's father. Because the more he thought about DJ, the more he realized that for the first time since he'd left home and started helping Kell acquire and break businesses apart, he wanted to build something of his own. He wanted to build something that would last with his son. He wanted to build a family.
* * *
Cari wasn't too sure exactly what she needed except to get home and to get away from Dec. He was trying and that was one of the sweetest things she'd ever seen him do. Okay, it was definitely the sweetest. Dec wasn't a man who asked. He normally bullied and pushed until he got what he wanted.
She knew that she'd thrown him a curveball and she should probably get him to agree to as much as he would tonight. But she hadn't counted on it feeling like a curveball to her, too. She'd thought he'd deny the existence of a son. She'd feared he'd just shrug and walk away. But this reaction was the one she'd secretly hoped for.
In her mind's eye she could just imagine Jessi shaking her head and telling Cari to snap out of it. And Cari knew that Jess would be right to say those words. Dec was still the same man he'd been earlier. She had to remember that people didn't change in less than an hour.
Dec was a man who destroyed things. He was the axman for Playtone Games and there were probably hundreds of people whose lives he'd altered with the cold-blooded decisions he made every day. It was silly to think he wasn't going to apply those same principles to his personal life.
"I guess I should be going. If you don't want to take me back to the restaurant, I can catch a cab."
"Why would you say that?" he asked her.
"I figured you need some time to process everything I said tonight."
"I definitely do, but you're not catching a cab," he said. "We have to start getting to know each other."
She nodded. "That's why I came to dinner with you tonight."
"That, and guilt," he said.
She couldn't help but smile at the knowing way he'd said that. "Maybe."
She hadn't realized what a heavy emotional strain keeping DJ a secret had been, but for the first time this evening she felt able to breathe and that knot of tension in her stomach had loosened.
"So tell me … Well, tell me about how you first took the news," he said. "It had to have been a shock."
She leaned back in her chair and she remembered she'd gone to the walk-in clinic in Vegas where she'd been for her last gaming trade show. The news that the doctor had delivered had been more of a confirmation of what she'd sort of already guessed. "Immediately I knew I couldn't tell anyone who you were."
"Why not?" he asked. "Are you close to your sisters?"
"We are sort of close. When our parents were alive, our dad was busy working and our mom had her moments when she was unavailable to us. So Emma and Jessi sort of looked out for me," she said. "I wanted to tell them, especially since Emma already had a son, but I was afraid and unsure. And I had this little baby inside of me and I knew that I was all he had."
She almost touched her stomach, remembering the very instant when she'd made the decision to keep the baby's father a secret from her sisters. Dec hadn't called and she'd felt like it was her and the baby together against the world. "I just knew that I had to protect him and keep him safe. From that moment forward I did everything for him."
He was watching her like he'd never seen her before, and she couldn't blame him. She didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know he'd wanted the evening to go in a different direction. And he was handling it as Dec handled everything.
"Does nothing throw you?" she asked.
"This did," he admitted. "I have always been so careful and never planned or anticipated a child."
She smiled. "DJ surprised us both. I said something similar to Jessi when I was decorating the nursery a few weeks before he was born and she said that maybe there was something in the universe that had a different plan for me."
"Do you believe that?" he asked.
"I can tell you don't. But a part of me would like to think that what happened between you and me was more than just hormones going crazy. That even though one night was all you really wanted from me there was something more going on there. I know I sound like a hopeless romantic," she said.
"I'm not romantic," he said. "I think the condom malfunctioned and we have a son. Nothing more was involved in it. But I do think what you and I do with him, how we raise him, how we treat each other, those are the things that will have a long-lasting effect on him."
"I agree," she said. "Which is why until I say otherwise, we're going to keep the fact that you are DJ's father a secret."
He didn't look too happy about her decision but she really didn't care. She wasn't about to risk her son or herself falling for a man who was used to leaving. Who was used to always having one foot out the door.
"Okay, but you and I will date."
"Why? Whatever for?"
"It's the only way to get our families used to the fact that we are together. And eventually they are going to learn about me and DJ. Don't you think it will be a lot better if we give them a chance to get used to me first?"
He had a point.
"I don't think so. We should keep this just between us."
But her sisters were going to give her the third degree. Even so, she was tired of keeping the secret of DJ's father. And it looked like she was going to have a chance at the family she'd always wanted with the only man who'd ever kissed her and made her forget everything but the way she felt in his arms.
Six
Dating. Dec wanted them to date and Cari had left him with a vague nod of the head, but had been careful not to agree to anything. There was no way that their families were ever going to accept them as a couple. Emma and Jessi would have a lot to say about her dating a Montrose.
Especially given the way that Dec had been sent to evaluate and chop up their company. No matter what spin he tried to put on it, everyone knew he was there to break up the company in payback for her grandfather cutting old Thomas Montrose out of Infinity all those years ago.
She rubbed her bleary eyes as she stared at the digital numbers of the clock. It was three-thirty and she doubted Emma would appreciate her showing up to pick up DJ. But she needed her son home in her arms. She'd made a bad choice in allowing her sister to take him to her home.
Tonight she needed to hold his warm little body close and breathe in his sweet baby scent and remind herself that she could be strong. Instead she was lying in her big bed and dreaming of Dec. Was it any surprise?
She hadn't forgotten their one night together. Since then, no other man was interested in her. And to be honest she wasn't interested in any other man. Was she interested in Dec?
Attracted to him? Definitely. More than that? She just didn't know him well enough to be sure. The parts she'd seen had shown her a man who was ready for a good time and serious about business, but there wasn't much else she could say about him.
Perhaps his dating idea was a good suggestion. She'd have a chance to get to know him and see if he was really the right man to be a father to DJ. It didn't matter to her that he'd provided the sperm. In a very basic way she almost felt as if she'd gone to a sperm bank … . Why hadn't she thought of that lie to tell her sisters?
Jessi already suspected that DJ's father was someone they knew. She was always asking sly questions and trying to pry the name out of her. And if Cari hadn't been so determined to keep her secret she would have given Dec up long ago.