Hers to Take(33)

"Kira, I-"

"No." She shook her head. She needed to get it all out. "I tried and tried, Kade. Every night for months. But you were never there. It was like you were gone. Totally and completely gone. I was alone."

He dropped his hands from her arms and looked to the ground. After a moment, Kade looked up again, his own eyes shining with tears. "I'm sorry, Kira. I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you want me?"

"It's not that I didn't. It was the exact opposite. It hurt too much to miss you, and the one thing that had caused that pain was the same thing that had broken our family the first time. Mates. I couldn't think straight and the only thing I could focus on was the fact that the very thing we were had destroyed us. I wanted no part of it."

"Part of what? Being a bear?" Kira struggled to wrap her mind around what he was saying. "But that's who you are. It's part of you, Kade. You can't get away from it." 

"I know that now. But it didn't stop me from trying." He chuckled and shook his head, but it wasn't funny.

It was anything but funny. Had Kade tried to deny his bear? The same way she had? Maybe they'd been more connected than she'd thought. Only for males it was different. When she denied her bear, it just dulled her senses and instincts. The longer she went ignoring her true self, the farther away it became, which was why Nash had trouble identifying that she was even a shifter.

But when a male shifter denied his true self, it could eat him up. It could change a man. Maybe even drive him a little mad. It must have been torture for him. "But now … "

"Now I'm better." Kade's grin told her there was a lot more to do with him being better than he was saying, but she didn't push. There'd be time to catch up on all the details later. At least she hoped there would. "It's been a few months, Kira," he continued. "But I've been looking for you. Searching. But when I reached out to you, I couldn't-"

"I denied my bear, too." She dropped her head, but he lifted it and forced her to look at him. There was humor in his eyes, but also sadness.

"It would be funny, if it wasn't so sad, wouldn't it?"

She nodded. They always had been more alike than they even realized.

"But … why? Why would you-"

"You know why." She didn't have to wait long for realization to fill Kade's eyes.

"Because you couldn't reach me."

She nodded.

"And then I couldn't reach you." He shook his head and laughed for real. "Kira, we're a fuckin' mess."

She joined in his laughter because there was nothing else to do and she definitely couldn't disagree with him. "But you're here now," she said when she could find her words again. "What changed?"

"I found a mate." His smile transformed him. She'd never before seen her brother look so … giddy. It was the most ridiculous word to apply to Kade, who was a six-foot-three, solid mass of mountain man muscle, but there was really no other way to explain the look in his eyes. He was positively gleeful. "I can't wait for you to meet her, Kira. You're going to love her. She's … .she's absolutely everything. And she helped me realize that by denying my bear, I was denying every part of me that mattered. Including you."

A completely unreasonable spark of jealousy flashed through her. As his twin sister, she should have been there to help him make that realization. It was her job.

But it wasn't.

And it was her fault that he'd denied his true self in the first place. Besides that, if she could look past the jealousy, she could see the truth for what it was. Nash had done the very same thing for her.

"I'm so glad, Kade." She squeezed him in a hug. "I can't wait to meet this woman," she said genuinely. "She must be pretty fantastic to lock down the first Jackson brother."

Kade's eyes clouded and he shook his head. "I keep forgetting." Her joy was gone in a flash, twisting instead into a tight knot. "You don't know."

"What don't I know?"

"We should go back," Kade said. "Maybe have a cup of coffee and talk."

"No." She shook her head. "Talk to me, Kade." Her hand latched around his arm, and she pulled. Kade was strong, but she could hold her own with her brother. Especially where her family was concerned. "What's happened at home?"




 

 





Chapter Ten





Nash had been looking for Kira everywhere. When he'd let her slip off to work without pulling her back into his bed to ravish her one more time, he'd only been able to muster the self-control because he was sure he'd be able to have her only a few hours later. Because that's all he could think about. Being with her. Feeling her skin on his. Her kiss on his lips. The sound of her voice.