How could he understand her so well? No one else ever had. She would start up her dog-walking business again; work at Coffee, Coffee; and book more puppet shows. The thing she wouldn’t do was go on any more auditions. Thanks to Livia, she had a new direction, one that had been taking shape inside her so gradually that she’d barely known it was happening. “There’s no reason for me to stay,” she said.
An SUV with a missing door and bad muffler roared past. “Sure there is,” he said. “The cottage is yours. Right now those women are falling all over themselves trying to figure out how to give it back to you in exchange for your silence. Nothing’s changed.”
Everything had changed. She was in love with this man, and she couldn’t keep staying at the cottage where she’d see him every day, make love with him every night. She needed to rip off the bandage. And go where? She was healthy now, strong enough to figure something out.
They began walking toward the wharf. Ahead of her, the American flag flying from the pole between the boathouses caught the morning breeze. She stepped around a pile of lobster traps and climbed the ramp. “I have to stop postponing the inevitable. From the beginning, the cottage was only a stopgap. It’s time for me to get back to my real life in Manhattan.”
“You’re still broke,” he said. “Where are you going to live?”
The easiest way for her to raise rent money quickly was to sell one of the Garr drawings, but she wouldn’t do that. Instead she’d call her former dog-walking clients. They were always traveling. She’d done house-sitting before. If she was lucky, one of them might need someone to stay with their animals while they were gone. If that didn’t work, her former boss at Coffee, Coffee would probably let her crash on the futon in the storage room. She was physically and emotionally stronger now than she’d been five weeks ago, and she’d figure it out.
“I already have money coming in from the resale shop,” she told him, “so I’m not completely penniless. And now that I’m healthy again, I can get back to work.”
They bypassed a length of chain attached to one of the granite mooring posts. He leaned down to pick up a loose stone. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“Don’t you?” She said it easily, as if he’d revealed nothing of any importance, but her muscles tensed, waiting for what would come next.
He hurled the stone into the water. “If you have to move out of the cottage while the island mafia fixes their mess, you can stay at the house. Take over as much of it as you want. Elliott and Cynthia aren’t arriving until August, and by then, you’ll be back where you belong.”
This was Theo the caretaker speaking, nothing more, and where she belonged was back in the city reclaiming her life. The boathouse flag snapped in the breeze. She squinted her eyes against the sun glinting off the water. Her stay on the island this winter had been a time to regenerate. Now she saw herself with clearer eyes, saw where she’d been and where she wanted to go.
“Everything is too uncertain for you in the city,” he said. “You need to stay here.”
“Where you can watch out for me? I don’t think so.”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his parka. “You make it sound so terrible. We’re friends. You might be the best friend I’ve ever had.”
She nearly winced, but she couldn’t be angry with him for not loving her. It wasn’t in the cards. If Theo ever did manage to fall in love again, it wouldn’t be with her. It wouldn’t be with anyone so closely attached to his past.
She had to put an end to this right now, and her voice was as steady as could be. “We’re lovers,” she said. “And that’s a lot more complicated than friendship.”
He pitched another stone in the water. “It doesn’t have to be.”
“Our relationship has always had an expiration date, and I think we’ve reached it.”
He looked more peeved than heartbroken. “You make us sound like spoiled milk.”
She needed to do this right. She needed to free herself, but also avoid stirring up his all-too-ready feelings of guilt and responsibility. “Hardly spoiled,” she said. “You’re gorgeous. You’re rich and smart. And sexy. Did I mention you’re rich?”
He didn’t crack a smile.
“You know me, Theo. I’m a romantic. If I hang around any longer, I might fall in love with you.” She managed a shudder. “Think how ugly that would be.”
“You won’t,” he said with deadly sincerity. “You know me too well.”