“Oh, well, that makes it okay, then.”
“Don’t.” I shook my head stubbornly. “Obviously now is not the time to discuss this, but we do need to discuss it. Caine isn’t comfortable hiding our relationship anymore and neither am I. To be with him I’m going to have to be a part of this community, and people are going to question my connection to the Hollands. We don’t have to decide right away whether we lie to everyone or not … but it is time you stop lying to your wife.”
“I never wanted you to be a part of this. I didn’t want these people, my people, to hurt you.” He gazed at me in concern. “You and Caine have grown serious, then?”
“Yes.” I took a step toward him. “I know this is huge, and I know you’ll need time to think it over and prepare yourself. I just wanted you to know that with the way things are progressing, it may not be too long before questions are asked and I’d like to know how to answer those. I believe you’ll have to discuss that with my grandmother before a decision can be made.”
He ran a hand through his short hair. “This is going to be a bloody mess,” he muttered quietly.
All this secrecy just so he didn’t have to put up with drama.
That was when I snapped. “I know, you know. He told me.”
Grandpa frowned. “What are you talking about?”
As much as I hated to acknowledge that the only family I had left had done something terrible, Grandpa’s actions with Eric were despicable, and I needed to know why he did it. I found the courage to ask something that had plagued me for the last few weeks. “Why did you do it?” I said, my words soft, tentative. “Why did you cover it up?”
Understanding slackened Grandpa’s features seconds before regret darkened his eyes. “I was protecting my family,” he said softly, his defeated expression suggesting he knew how weak an excuse that was. “It wasn’t until afterward, when I discovered Caine’s father had … Well, the guilt and the shame … I couldn’t rid myself of it. The only way I knew to alleviate it was to exact some kind of justice for Caine. My only way to do that without hurting the rest of the family was to disinherit and disown my son. Losing his money and status.” Grandpa shook his head. “That hurt Alistair more than anything else could.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about your involvement in the cover-up?”
“Because I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.”
“I don’t know how else to look at you. I don’t know if I can believe anything about you anymore. Honestly I don’t even know if you love me.”
“Alexa, of course—”
I moved past him, sliding the doors open and cutting him off because suddenly I knew I wasn’t ready to hear his answer. I wasn’t ready to believe it. “I have to get back before Caine wonders where I am.”
Striding toward the ballroom, I willed my heart rate to slow down, but it wouldn’t. My hands trembled as I returned to the ballroom, and this had everything to do with the strange sense of foreboding that had come over me.
It never occurred to me until I faced my grandfather that there was a huge possibility that I’d have to give Grandpa up once the truth came out. I didn’t know how to forgive him just yet … And even if I did I couldn’t imagine his family would want him to have anything more to do with me, and I was starting to think that perhaps the whole reason the idea of revealing the truth upset him was that he knew he’d have to choose …
I stopped, staring dazedly around the room.
… and he would choose them over me.
Like always I’d be second best.
Needing Caine, I scoured the room for him, but I couldn’t see him.
“He left the room with Regina Mason.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Phoebe, who was standing with one arm wrapped around her waist while she casually sipped her champagne. I would have expected there to be spite in her eyes, but to my surprise there was only begrudged sympathy.
I stiffened at the sympathy. “Left?”
She nodded her pretty head toward where I’d just come in.
I decided not to mention that it was slightly stalkerish of her to be watching Caine, and instead nodded my thanks and headed back out into the hall. They were nowhere to be seen, which meant searching. I decided to start by checking the rooms on the right off the large entrance hall.
My heart was beating faster now for a different reason.
Stop. You’re being silly. Caine would never … There will be a rational explanation.
Hearing the rumbling murmurs of a male voice down the corridor, I walked quietly along it, trying to calm my trembling. As I neared a door I recognized the baritones as Caine’s. But I didn’t recognize the female voice.