“Ensure my safety? So you’re saying a young, female Sventé vampire is all that’s needed to ensure my safety. Hey, why not get rid of me and make her the Heir then.”
“Oh we’re back to that crap, I see,” I spat. “Honestly, Jared, you’re like a little kid who doesn’t want to hold Mummy’s hand.”
“It’s nothing personal to you,” said Jared.
“Your last words sort of contradict that. What’s wrong – you don’t want to be seen out with a Sventé?”
Antonio interrupted our dispute. “What if this was Evan, Jared? You know he can protect himself from any threat. But would you want him to go alone while such a threat is live?”
“That’s different,” argued Jared.
I snorted. “Oh, you know what? I’m gone. Antonio, if you want me to go tomorrow night I will. But I’m not staying here to listen to him sulk any more than I have to.”
“Understandable,” muttered Sebastian.
I was in so much of a desperate need to put a large distance between me and Jared that human velocity just wasn’t good enough right now. Vampire speed had me at the office within seconds. I slumped down onto my seat. God, what was so wrong with me in Jared’s eyes that made him so horrified by any idea that involved us working closely together? Oh I was good enough to shag, though, wasn’t I? I’ll take that to mean that he’d shag absolutely anything, even if he loathed it.
Worse still, I couldn’t seem to shrug my shoulders about it all. I told myself I didn’t like him that much. I told myself that what little attraction I had to him was purely physical. But if that was the case, why was I so bothered by what he thought of me as a person? Why did I suddenly care about what he thought of my appearance? Why was I jealous of his relationship, if you could call it that, with his consorts? Why when I needed comfort was he the only one I wanted around me? Why when Max was so cute and sweet and made an effort to spend time with me did I find myself thinking about Jared instead?
Maybe Jared was right: maybe it wasn’t fair to Max that I responded to his flirtatiousness if it was Jared I wanted more. Well, time to remedy that. And not by pushing Max away or attempting any further seductions with Jared. No. Time to rid myself of this craving I had for Jared. Yes, it had somehow, without my even realising it until now, developed into a craving. How was I going to rid myself of that? Easy, because I wasn’t a shallow person and I didn’t believe that looks were more important than personality. So now all I had to do was remind myself of all his bad traits.
Of course there was the obvious one: he was outrageously sexist, even to the extent that he hadn’t been prepared to give me the job I deserved merely because I was female – he wouldn’t even work with me and we had to split the training hours for the squad and train them separately. Number two: he was prejudiced against Sventés, seeing them as inferior to him and horrified at the thought of being seen outside the walls with one. Number three: he placed so little significance in women that they were simply objects to him – objects that he could claim and possess and tuck away in an apartment – and vehicles for his sexual pleasure. Number four: he was so much of a spoilt brat that he sulked whenever things didn’t go his way, even going as far as to barely speak to me for days at a time. Number five: he was so unbelievably vain he couldn’t grasp the concept that a woman might not want to be his consort.#p#分页标题#e#
To sum up, he’s a dickhead.
And now my head feels so much clearer. Objective: Forget Jared, concentrate on Max.
(Jared)
Sam wasn’t in the office when I teleported there. She was always in her office during lunch hour, flicking through files and charting the progress of the recruits. It wasn’t exactly cause for alarm that she wasn’t there now, but I didn’t like it. I had apparently gotten so used to knowing where she would be that this simple detail threw me off. I didn’t know where she was. I just really didn’t like that at all.
It would make sense that she wouldn’t be enthusiastic about talking to me right now. I knew I’d hurt her feelings by protesting about taking her to the gathering tomorrow evening. It hadn’t really registered until now that it was possible to hurt her. It should’ve done as I’d glimpsed what she hid behind that frosty exterior; the pain, the anger, and the shame at what her dick of a Sire had done to her. And now I was the dick, too.
It wasn’t that I was ashamed to be seen with her like she thought. Okay, I admit, I didn’t like the idea of everyone staring and whispering and judging, and if it was any other Sventé I’d point-blank refuse to take her. But I didn’t look at Sam and see a Sventé. I saw a strong, determined, wilful, gorgeous, good-hearted person. A good-hearted person who I’d just hurt.