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Her desert knight(29)

By:Jennifer Lewis

       
           



       

She'd certainly done it easily enough, and she hadn't even known who he was at first.

Dani half waited for him to text again, explaining that Laura meant  nothing to him, and she-Dani-was the only woman he cared about. That was  probably beneath his dignity, though. He'd certainly never mentioned  his other woman friends to her. Likely he thought them none of her  business.





Are you at home?





She hesitated for a moment, holding the phone in her hand. If she told  him she was at home he'd probably come over, and embarrass her even  further in front of her father and brothers.

Her fingers twitched to reply. She could vividly picture Quasar typing  on his phone and being confused and possibly hurt by her brusque  responses. She didn't want to hurt him. She cared about him. Her  feelings for him were confusing and intense and she'd almost begun to  think they might be that elusive and dangerous thing she'd once called  love.

She wasn't falling down that rabbit hole again, though. Her heart  wanted to text Quasar back. To make plans to meet with him. To fall into  his arms, to believe whatever he promised and float along on a  rose-scented cloud of bliss for as long as she could.

But she'd tried that approach to life once. Ignoring warning signs.  Being nice. Hoping for the best. Smoothing things over when they got  rocky. Trying to save everyone's feelings but her own. And she wasn't  doing that again.

Ever.

Then she heard a knock on her window.





      Ten

The sound of knuckles rapping on the glass made Dani jump and drop her  phone. She spun around and a barrage of confusing emotions assaulted her  as she saw Quasar's face emerge from the evening gloom outside her  window: relief that he cared enough to come; horror that once again he'd  ignored etiquette to pursue her; and fear that she'd fall immediately  under his seductive spell.

He knocked again, more softly this time, to draw her from her frozen  indecision. She realized she had to open the window. After yesterday's  experience of being stuck in her room with the bars locked from the  outside, she'd found the key and snuck it into her desk drawer. She drew  it out, pulled up the window sash-pressing her finger to his lips to  warn him into silence-and handed it to him.

He slid the key into the lock at the bottom of the barred grating. She  watched his moonlight-dusted profile, sharp cheekbones, proud nose,  characteristically tousled hair. Looking at him made a girl forget about  common sense and what was right.

The lock clicked open and he lifted the large, heavy iron grid that  hinged from the top, eased himself under it and opened the window. In a  few brief seconds, he was inside her room and standing on her carpet.

"You can't stay," she whispered. "My father and brothers are home."

"I know. Come with me." He gestured at the window with his chin.

She shook her head silently. She could hear the TV from down the hall.  Al Jazeera news on full volume. It was unlikely that anyone would hear  them if they kept their voices down. "We can talk here," she said  softly. "It's time to end this madness and go back to our separate  lives."

"You can't be serious." He stepped toward her and seized hold of her  hands. "A few hours ago you liked the idea of coming with me."

"That was before I saw you with Laura." The confession was an instant  weight off her mind. That was the true reason she'd changed her  mind-totally and irrevocably-about moving to Boston with him. She'd  caught a glimpse of the real Quasar, in his own element, and felt like  the outsider she would be if she were foolish enough to try living with  him.

He squeezed her hands and she felt an echoing squeeze in her heart.  "Dani. Laura was important to me. That's all over. Now she's simply an  old friend."

"I think she wants to be a lot more than friends."

"She's very touchy-feely, but she's really like that with everyone.  Besides, it doesn't really matter what she wants. I know what I want and  that's you."

Dani swallowed. She wished he wasn't holding her hands so tightly so she could pull away and put some space between them.

"Maybe you can't admit to yourself that you really want her back."

She saw the familiar twinkle of humor in his eyes. She wasn't sure  whether to be reassured that he found her worries amusing, or appalled  that he could find humor even when she was trying to dump him.

"I don't want her back. I don't like to talk about past relationships,  as I think it's more respectful to both parties to keep everything  private, but I was relieved when our relationship ended. I don't want a  woman who lives to see and be seen, and who gets restless if she stays  in one city for more than two weeks. I want someone calming and steady,  whose resources come from within and who prefers peace and intimacy to a  glittering crowd." He squeezed her hands again and took another step  closer until his chest was almost touching hers. "I want you."                       
       
           



       

Her heart leaped and she cursed it. The sincerity in his voice clawed  at her. Now that they were alone together again, all her doubts and  fears seemed to shrivel away and the grand hopes and dreams he inspired  reinflated and threatened to warp her perspective. "I know you think  that now. That you really believe it. But I felt like the outsider at  that party, like she claimed you and owned you and I was an intruder. I  know she's only one of many women you've dated, and I just can't compete  with them. I don't want to. I'll be jealous and resentful and hate  myself. Why didn't you tell her to take her hands off you?"

He frowned. "I should have. I was thoughtless and assumed too readily  that you knew I was yours and only yours. From now on, no woman shall  touch me but you." He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed them.

A strange sensation shivered through her belly. "You can't promise that. What are you going to do? Beat them off with a stick?"

"If necessary." The look in his eyes suggested that he was entirely  serious. "Or perhaps I can carry a khanjar at my belt and slice at them  if they try."

She giggled. It was impossible not to. She could totally picture Quasar  with the traditional dagger tucked into his Armani suit.

Then she stopped laughing. "I'm scared. Everyone who knows me will think it's wrong, that I've lost my mind."

"Do you listen to them, or to your heart?" His eyes narrowed, and he  peered into hers with what looked like the wisdom of a thousand years.

"I listened to my heart before, and it was wrong. I thought I'd met my  life partner and I tried to make it work but he was cruel and  destructive to me. I don't trust my judgment anymore."

"I love you, Dani. I want you by my side. What will it take?"

She blinked, staring at him. Cool resolve crept over her. "If I'm not happy, you'll let me go, no questions asked?"

He frowned again. He seemed to be considering her words. "Though it would pain me to let you go, I'll agree."

"Even if I ask you to let me go right now?" This was the ultimate test.  He'd refused once. Did he respect her enough to do what he promised?

He gave her a confused look. "You want me to leave right now?"

"And never come back."

His mouth moved, as if he were at a loss for words. "I can't promise that." His regal brow furrowed. "I can't."

"See? You can't promise you'll let me go. You want me to be yours, no  matter what the cost to me. I've played by those terms once and I won't  do it again." Her own determination strengthened as she stood up to him.

She watched his chest rise as he drew in a steadying breath. "You want me to leave you-forever-to prove how much I love you?"

What she asked didn't make any sense, but she was going to lose him  either way. She couldn't go with him and plunge herself into a life of  uncertainty. She nodded, her lips pressed together.

Quasar raised her hands to his lips again. His blue eyes were shadowed  with darkness as he kissed them one more time-so softly-sending tremors  of sensation and emotion to her toes. Then he bowed, turned to the  window, climbed out and walked off into the night. Her heart breaking,  she watched his white shirt disappear into the darkness.

He did it. He promised he'd let her go, and he did. And the worst part was that now she loved him more than ever.

* * *

Quasar's heart pounded so hard it could break a rib. He was glad of the  brisk walk to where he'd parked his car a couple of blocks away. He  understood where Dani was coming from. She'd been pushed around, told  what to do, what not to do, and she had to be sure she was in charge of  her own destiny.

As a man used to being in control of his life and that of many people  around him, it didn't sit well at all to just walk away. It was hard  enough to leave when he knew he'd see her the next day. Now she expected  him to go back to his life and forget all about her?