The doctor and my dad exchange a look, and then Dad says, “Well, first of all, you need to start eating right, girl. This starving yourself business ain’t no good.”#p#分页标题#e#
He’s right, I realize with a guilty start. The truth is, I think I’ve been blaming this baby for what happened. For FJ and Olafr leaving without me. But now I can see my refusal to eat might have grave consequences for our baby.
“I’ll eat. I promise,” I say to all of them. “Just please tell me the baby’s okay.”
There’s a long pause.
And I cover my now much rounder belly. I won’t be able to go on if anything’s wrong with the only piece of FJ and Olafr I have left. If I lose this pup, I’ll lose my whole damn mind right along with it.
But then the doctor says, “It’s a little more than okay, Queen Tiara. Also, we’re not talking ‘baby,’ we’re talking ‘babies.’ You’re having twins.”
49
Twins. I’m having twins.
I think of my mother, who would probably still be alive if the pack doctor had access to the tools we now have for assisting females with multiple childbirths. And a blanket of forgiveness settles over my soul.
As angry as I was at FJ and Olafr, as much as I’ve been hating them for leaving me and then dying on top of that, I can’t hold what they did against them any longer. Because they were right. I might have survived the birth of one child without modern medicine. But twins? Not likely. Not with my family history combined with their big-ass genes.
Food doesn’t stop tasting like dirt, but I do eat the next meal brought to me. And every meal after that. I’m still sad. I can’t remember ever being more sad in my life, but I’m having twins. And, more importantly, these two babies are all I have left of my mates.
So yes, I’ll never be the same. But I know I have to be strong. For them. For our babies.
Eventually I have enough energy to crawl out of bed and put on something that doesn’t tie in the front.
It only takes a few hours and a Skype call with Iggle to get everything sorted with She-Wolf. To my surprise, she’s done a great job keeping things on track and up to date and it looks like Ninja Shifters will be coming out next Thanksgiving, right on schedule.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so out of pocket,” I tell her. “And I’m sorry I won’t be back for a while.”
“Sure. Take your time,” she answers with a sympathetic look. “I’ll keep She-Wolf running until you get back.”
It’s hard to believe, but Iggle, who I wouldn’t have trusted with my lunch order a few months ago, is turning out to be the most dependable resource I have right now. After logging off, I’m not at all worried about the future of She-Wolf while I’m doing what I know I have to do. For the two babies growing inside me.
I look at my bedroom door and sigh. I have a feeling this next interaction won’t go nearly as easy as my phone call with Iggle. But it’s time…
It’s time to leave my rooms and start living. It’s time… It’s time…
For a very long moment, I hover in front of the door. Not wanting to walk out. Because if I go out there, it means I’ve got to face the reality of my pack for the first time in—well, ever. And sometimes it feels like I’ve been safe havening it up in my room since I was born.
But the time for hiding is over. FJ and Olafr are gone. And the pack is still here. I’ve got to look all of that in the eye. Because I owe the babies inside me better than a lifetime of confinement inside my rooms, pretending nothing exists but the realities I make up for video games.
So with a deep breath, I walk through my bedroom door for the first time in months…#p#分页标题#e#
Only to stop short when I see the large male sitting just outside.
“Uncle Ford! What are you doing here?” I ask.
In the wing-backed chair, he looks like a wolf on sentry duty. Like he’s been sitting guard outside my room. But that’s not possible. He’s the Alaska beta, not ours.
Uncle Ford comes to his feet and does that weird “looking all around but in your eyes” move of his.
“Where you headed?” he asks. Like we just happened to run into each other on the street or something.
I glance at the deep seat indention he’s left in the chair. “How long have you been sitting out here?”
“Um…I guess a week or two now. Alisha called. Said you was in a bad way.”
I blink. “You’ve been sitting out here in that chair this whole time? Ever since Alisha told me FJ and Olafr weren’t coming back?”