Without her phone number, there was nothing he could do but go down to the casino and look for the group of women in the nearest restaurants, hoping they were having dinner somewhere nearby. He wandered around for nearly an hour before going back up to her room, determined to sit outside the door and wait for her.
He had been frustrated by that point, but not at her. He was mad at himself for not talking to her the moment he’d realized he wanted to be more than just an occasional fling.
Sitting on the plane headed back home, he still wasn’t sure what he would’ve said if she had shown up. He had only known that he couldn’t let her disappear out of his life for good. So he had sat there until a woman walked by who looked vaguely familiar. She stopped and looked him up and down slowly. She seemed to like what she saw, because her voice came out as a purr.
“Hey, sweetie. Can I help you with something?”
He didn’t want to be rude, but by that time he was tired and had been looking for so long that his patience had run short. He tilted his head toward the door, his facial expression flat. “I’m here for Jessica.”
“Jessica left a while ago. She had to fly back home. Family trouble.”
With that, he’d been done with Vegas. He felt frustrated that he’d lost his chance to explain, guilty that he had hurt her even inadvertently and appalled that he would never see her again. He considered trying to get her number from the woman but realized that if he’d hurt her enough to make up a reason to leave Vegas early just to get away from him, she probably didn’t want to hear from him, even if he was going to explain.
She probably wouldn’t even believe him. Her history would make it hard to trust anyone, and that included the guy who she very definitely thought was only interested in no-strings-attached flings. She had a point there, after all. That was the way he’d been for years, and she had spotted it almost immediately. It was too much to expect her to believe in a sudden change of heart.
After his unsuccessful stakeout, he had gone back to his hotel, grabbed his things and headed to the airport. He changed his flight and was glad to watch the lights of Vegas disappear into the distance. He knew things wouldn’t be exactly the same once he got to Texas. After all, he couldn’t go back in time or erase her from his memory.
Still, at least he’d be home.
11
JESSICA WOKE UP just as the plane was starting its descent. She felt a little better, a little more clearheaded, despite her anxiety about her father. She hadn’t gotten much information from her sister, and all she could do was hope she would be back in time. The light of the sunrise streaming through the window told her it would be early morning when they touched down. She had been so busy rushing to change her flight and get on it that she hadn’t considered what time it would land, but she should have expected the evening flight cross-country and the time change to find her arriving the next day.
The moment the plane landed, her phone was out of airplane mode and she was sending and receiving messages.
Renee responded, He’s alive and awake. Get here when you can.
Jessica wiped the few tears from her face. It was very clear, though her sister never said it, that he wouldn’t be around much longer. Even though she’d been prepared for this circumstance for almost a year, it didn’t erase the pain. Her dad was dying and there was nothing she could do but be there holding his hand when he went.
There was also a message from Cindy. Hey, Jess. Went to his room, knocked on the door. Waited, but he didn’t show. I’m so sorry. I’ll try again before the flight. Love you.
Jessica didn’t think she had any emotion left to spare for Aaron with everything going on, but she still felt a stab of pain. There were few good reasons she could think of that would explain his absence, and the possibility seemed much more real that she would, in fact, never see him again.
She couldn’t let herself think about all that. She had enough to deal with already. She left the plane and headed toward the taxis. Normally she would take the subway, but speed was the issue, not expense. Once she was in the vehicle and they were on the way to the hospital, she allowed herself to consider the situation. Her father had been slowly losing his battle for a long time, and though he had been positive and put forth the effort to make things seem less dire, they had known this day was coming.
A small secret part of her knew it was for the best for them all. He had been in so much pain that her mom’s entire life had been put on hold, and she and her sister had avoided doing anything too big, too far away, so that they could be around at a moment’s notice. It was hard to admit, but they’d all needed this moment to arrive.
It didn’t stop it from hurting, though. Her heart felt as if it had been through a wringer during the past twenty-four hours, and she wished there was a way to numb the pain a little. If she had someone to hold her and comfort her, strong arms keeping her close...
Just a few hours ago, she would have tried to stop the fantasy, to avoid the possibility that she would let herself fall into a trap, but now she allowed herself to take comfort in the picture. She mentally curled herself into the crook of his arm, feeling his warmth.
The taxi pulled up to the hospital, and she strode in, directing her steps straight toward the elevator and the room her sister had sent her. She walked steadily, but her mind felt as if it were floating above her body, and the whole situation lacked the feeling of reality.
In the elevator, she took a few deep breaths to try to bring herself back together. It was important to be calm when she saw her family, but it was much more important that she be all there. She didn’t want to ever look back at this time and think she’d glazed over it. It had to stay true to life, no matter how painful.
She walked into the hospital room, and there he was. Her father, obscured somewhat by tubes and other medical devices, looked so much smaller than she pictured him, even though she’d only seen him a few days before.
Renee and her mom moved from their positions at the bedside to hug her. Neither was crying, but their eyes were red and their faces were drawn. It was clear they’d had a rough time. Jessica was sure she didn’t look much better.
Her mom whispered, “The doctors were in here just a little while ago. He’s fading fast, but we’ve got some time still. They’re not sure how much longer he’ll be aware enough to know what’s happening around him. They wanted to give him morphine for the pain, but he didn’t want to take it until after you got back.”
The tears glittered in her mother’s eyes, and Jessica felt a few spill down her own cheeks. She nodded and gave a watery smile. Of course he said that. She would never have forgiven herself if she’d been too late, and he knew that. Family had always been her dad’s number-one priority, and even now he was determined to do what he could to make things better for her.
She walked up to the bed and carefully held the frail hand in both of hers. The year before, he’d been a big, strong man who dwarfed most people. Since then, though, he’d slowly shrunk and shriveled, until she was afraid to squeeze him too tightly. His thick black hair had become light and wispy, and he looked far older than he should have. The change had been hard to watch, but he was still her dad through and through.
He opened his eyes and looked at her, and she saw the corners crinkle as he smiled at her. She smiled back, but her eyes filled with more tears. She was determined not to shed them in front of him, though. The room was quiet except for the machinery working to monitor his status and keep him alive. She spoke softly to him. “Hey, Dad. I’m here.”
His voice was barely a whisper, so she leaned in close to hear him. “Hey, baby. I missed you. Did you have fun?”
She chuckled and shook her head. It was possibly the last time they’d ever speak, and he wanted to make sure she had a good time on her vacation. “Yeah, I had fun. Missed you, though.”
“Sorry you had to cut it short.”
“Vegas was too crazy for me, anyway.”
He squinted slightly at her. “You look different. Good different.”
She rolled her eyes. “Dad, I’m a mess. I’ve gotten almost no sleep for three days.”
“Not that. Something happened. You look...sparkly.”
His voice was so quiet that she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly. “I look sparkly?”
He nodded, his head moving a fraction of an inch up and down. “It suits you. What happened?”
She’d always been able to tell her dad pretty much anything, but she didn’t know how to explain the events from the weekend, and there wasn’t much time left. “I met a guy. He was nice, but it got complicated. I don’t know if I’ll see him again.”
The earnest look in his eyes made her heart clench. “You should. It’s nice to see you happy.”
She sank down into the chair by the bed, not moving her hands from his. Happiness was definitely not one of the emotions she was feeling, but she knew what he meant. “Thanks, Dad.”
He nodded again and closed his eyes. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you, too, Daddy.”
She hoped he understood everything she meant when she said it. She lightly squeezed his hand and rested her forehead on the edge of the bed. She allowed herself to weep silently now that he couldn’t see her.