Her blood rushed hot through her. She wanted to curl up in his arms, lean her head against him and breathe deeply, just smelling him and enjoying his warmth and closeness, but that would probably seem a little too relationship-ish. Instead she turned back around and began unzipping her heavy jacket. “Will you take my coat?”
“Sure. That’s a pretty thick jacket for such a warm evening. Why—”
She smiled to herself. Without looking at him, she could tell that the coat had been a very good idea. Now that it was in his hands, she was standing in front of him in nothing but jeans and bare skin. Finally, after the silence had dragged on for longer than she’d expected, she turned her head to the side, still keeping her back facing him.
He was standing there holding the jacket, and the death grip he had on it and the expression on his face made her stand a little straighter, letting him soak it all in. Finally he let out a long breath and a low, half-whispered “Wow.”
She couldn’t help laughing, and suddenly his arms were back around her and she was again spun in his direction. She marveled once more at how light and insubstantial she was in his strong arms. It made her feel almost petite. Then he was kissing her, and her mind stopped thinking altogether. His lips brushed against the corner of her mouth, then her jaw, then began moving slowly down toward her bare shoulder, getting more intense as he went until he was lightly biting at the base of her neck.
As his hands curved along her stomach, she sighed, joy washing through her. Any stress or anxiety she had felt that day, all her exhaustion, fell away. He smiled back, and she knew he felt the same. How could letting a near stranger touch and kiss her feel so right? She didn’t know, but she wasn’t about to start trying to find out. She only knew that she was deliriously happy, and she hadn’t felt anything close to that in a very, very long time.
She lost herself in his caresses and allowed her hands to wander along his chest and down to where his penis throbbed beneath the heavy denim of his pants.
They somehow made it to his bed without her noticing exactly how they’d gotten there.
Her legs pressed against the bed behind her, and she trembled with excitement. The heat raced through her veins as she allowed herself to fall backward onto the overly large comforter. She looked up at the man above her, the mysterious cowboy with the piercing blue gaze that was focused completely on her, and was amazed that she was experiencing this moment.
Even if she never saw him again—she felt a twinge of sadness at the thought, but ignored it—she’d have this memory trapped inside her forever. She’d always be able to keep at least a little part of it alive in her mind. Even in the cold and bitterness of New York she’d have a knot of warmth.
She didn’t realize she was grinning until he smiled back. He lowered himself so his upper body engulfed hers, though his bottom half was still off the bed. He kissed the corner of her lips, then fully on her mouth, his tongue diving inside, flicking against her own in a way that felt like so much more than a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and lifted herself into him, giving herself fully over to the kiss. It was long and grew in intensity as they pressed their bodies inexorably closer.
Just when she felt as though she could wait no longer for him, he separated himself from her by a few inches, enough to whisper, “You’re amazing, Jessica.”
Her heart skipped, and she ignored the small voice in the back of her mind telling her she was getting in too deep. Instead she whispered back, “I want you, Aaron.”
Slowly, almost agonizingly, he removed the last of his clothes and hers, sliding his hands over every inch of bare skin he revealed on her body until she was shaking from anticipation and the desperate need to have him. When they were both fully undressed and he had sheathed himself, and she was sure that he would slide inside her, he instead knelt on the floor beside the bed, pulling her gently toward the edge.
His hands worked their way up from her ankles up to her thighs, until she opened herself to him, revealing her wetness. His fingers brushed across her, and her back arched at the soft touch, the anticipation engulfing her. When his fingers were replaced by his mouth, her body released, sending a rush through her, and she cried out as it flooded her.
Only then did he bring himself to her, pressing the lengths of their bodies together, sinking his girth deep into her warm folds. As he penetrated her, his hand found hers on the bed, and they slowly rocked back and forth, enjoying the warmth of the moment.
Almost imperceptibly, the speed increased and his thrusts intensified, until she was brought again to the brink, and together their bodies reached a crescendo, leaving them both gasping, his weight pressing her into the bed’s soft coverings.
She didn’t move, eyes closed, enjoying the weight of him. Instead of feeling stifled or pinned down, which she would have expected, she felt protected and cocooned by him. One arm was wrapped around him, her hand slowly running up and down his back. The other was still clasped in his.
After a time that felt like both a delicious eternity and the briefest of moments, Aaron shifted himself until he was beside her, leaning on one elbow so he could look into her face. “I’ve never been to New York before. I think I should definitely go see it. Soon.”
Her eyes flew open wide and she looked at him, a little taken aback, but also pleased despite herself. Her thoughts ran quickly, trying to come up with something appropriate to say, but one question rose to the front: How does he know where I live? She was positive she’d never mentioned it.
As if he could see what she was thinking, he shrugged. “I was talking to Jeremiah, and when I said I didn’t know where you’re from, he told me. Apparently your friend is pretty chatty.”
For a second, she didn’t know who he was talking about; the only friend he’d met of hers was Cindy, and she certainly didn’t spend any time around Jeremiah. Then she realized he was talking about Marilyn. She was kind of her friend now.
He really didn’t know anything about her. That was a good thing for a single weekend, but was he asking to be something more than that? Or was he just looking for a friend with benefits whom he could hop on a plane to see occasionally?
She didn’t think she could do that.
Looking up at his body and into his eyes, she felt the pull of attraction. She wanted to see him again, but that could get dangerous very quickly, and she was not about to set herself up for more heartache. Jessica knew she had to make the safer choice, but she didn’t know how she could say no to seeing him again when all of her screamed out yes.
He was still looking at her, waiting patiently for an answer. She had to say something. “I don’t know.”
Neither of the sides within her was happy with that, but it was all she could say. The worst thing, though, was the look in Aaron’s eyes. Even though he put on a half smile and nodded, accepting her nondecision, his eyes dimmed with disappointment. She had to say something. She tried to explain herself.
“I like you, Aaron, and this weekend has been amazing, but I just don’t see that working out. I can’t be some girl you hook up with every once in a while when you come into town. I’m definitely not looking for a relationship, and I don’t think you are, either. That doesn’t leave us with a lot of options, does it?”
She wanted him to agree with her, yet she also hoped that he could somehow figure out a way to make the impossible work. He just nodded and leaned back on the bed, his eyes no longer digging into hers. She stared at the ceiling, wishing she could make him understand. Her thoughts started spilling out in a rush.
“Up until a few months ago, I was living with a guy named Russ. We’d been together for two years and had been talking about getting married. When I found out he was—”
She broke off, reliving the feelings of that day months before. She cleared her throat a couple of times and continued.
“When I found out he was cheating on me, it hurt me more than I can say. It almost destroyed me to see my life crumble like that. I can see now that it was really the best thing, that it would have been far worse if I hadn’t found out, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.”
Jessica sat up and looked at him. His full attention was on her. She tried to lighten the mood, which had gotten far too heavy for her liking. “At least I know how screwed up I am, right?”
He didn’t laugh. Didn’t even smile. She said, “This needs to stay a fun once-in-a-lifetime thing. This isn’t the real me, you know,” she said, blushing, but didn’t look away. “I’d only ever slept with Russ before you came along, and I don’t plan on being with another guy until I’m ready to trust someone again.”
Their eyes were locked, and she saw his eyes darken and contract, but she wasn’t sure what he was feeling, whether he was angry or sad or contemptuous. After the silence had lingered until she was considering getting up and leaving, he finally responded, “You don’t trust me.”
She sighed, hesitant to tell the truth. “I barely know you, and the second time I ever saw you, you were draped across multiple women. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing,” she added, seeing he was about to argue. “I’m just saying we’re different, and I don’t think we could ever find a situation we’re both happy with. If you were never planning on having sex with those women and are an innocent guy who didn’t sleep around before you met me, you can tell me and I’ll change my opinion. Until then, I have to leave this as a wonderful weekend I’ll remember the rest of my life.”