Would she be open to stretching them a little? He knew she was as harried in her business life as he was, and just as committed to succeeding. If he demanded more from her than their occasional meetings, would she run?
He shut off the water and climbed out. Could he risk losing what they did have? He dried off and wrapped a fresh towel around his waist before heading back into the bedroom. As a matter of habit, he scooped up the messages again, but tossed them back down a moment later after skimming the first two or three. More problems, more meetings. It was endless.
He truly enjoyed the work, but lately it seemed that he solved one problem only to have three more crop up. His dad kept telling him to train a few other people so he could dole out the workload a bit more and not travel as much. But he’d never had a reason to really contemplate it. His life was his job, and he hadn’t minded it taking all his time and attention. Until he’d met Natalie.
He sat down on the side of the bed, for the first time thinking that delegating might not be such a bad idea. He wasn’t a control freak by any stretch, but he’d always been the one to handle the serious glitches and it was hard for him to admit he couldn’t keep up with the demand. Harder still to step aside and trust someone else to handle them as thoroughly and with as much dedication as he would.
He glanced at his laptop, thinking about the e-mail his dad had sent with a list of names he might consider. He knew he wasn’t giving up control or responsibility. What really bothered him was that he wasn’t cut out to be a manager. It wasn’t a role he looked forward to playing. That was his sister Julie’s forte.
He liked being his own boss, his only responsibility to get the job done for the company. If he had to start worrying about how everyone else was handling the job… His head throbbed at the mere thought of it.
Which left him precisely where? He found his thoughts drifting back to the home ranch. His great-great-grandfather, Lamont Lannister, had been the one to start the family cattle business after he’d settled in the West. Jake wondered if he’d ever in his wildest dreams thought it would lead to an internationally respected holding.
He’d been raised on that land, in the original house, or at least the part of it that remained. But no matter where he traveled, his heart was back on that ranch. He’d always had a love for the basics of ranching, the intricacies of breeding. It was a fascination he shared with his father. Of course he loved his job, but more and more lately Jake found himself thinking of the Double L. His parents still called that home, although they spent less and less time there.
It was too cold, his dad complained. His mom had surprised him by agreeing, and three years ago they’d bought some land in Arizona, close to their corporate offices there. Both parents were still integrally involved in the company, but his dad now indulged in breeding some newer types of longhorns, mostly for fun rather than profit, and his mom had become involved in several organizations in Tempe and was more relaxed than he’d seen her in some time.
The Double L, by rights, would go to his older brother, Tom. But Tom lived in Casper and wasn’t much for the ranching life. Julie and his younger brother, Steve, were both married and enjoyed the city corporate life, as well. He supposed he did, too, as his condo was downtown, but he was rarely there. When he thought of home, he automatically thought of the ranch. Where are you going with this?
Quite honestly, he didn’t know. Of course, his parents would jump on this with both feet if they knew. They’d say he was ready to settle down. He was the only unmarried child left in the immediate family. Fortunately Steve’s wife had just given the family a third grandchild, so the focus was off him for the moment. He wondered what they’d think of Natalie.
He shook his head. From babies and settling down, right to Natalie. He needed a break from the near-constant travel, that was all. Natalie had simply come to represent the rest and relaxation he’d somehow lost along the way. He was making way more out of his preoccupation with her and the ranch than was warranted. He’d already been in two other cities since Chicago, and there were three more unscheduled trips now penciled in for the next ten days, one overseas. Maybe after that he’d take a weekend off and head out to the Double L.
Then there was New Orleans. Two days with Natalie with only a few hours needed for work. What would it be like to have the whole night with her? To wake her up in the morning and not have to rush off to the airport?
He wondered what Natalie would think of the ranch.
“Okay, enough.” He set about unpacking. Besides, she was a city dweller, like his siblings. She’d probably hate it. One more reason not to call her at work and push what was, in every other way, the perfect relationship.
He dug out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, trying to ignore how little comfort he’d drawn from that conclusion. He had some work to do before his dinner meeting. The first of which was going to be to look at that list and start the ball rolling on training some help.
He’d get over the management duties part of it. It was bound to happen at some point. Although Tom would likely be the one to take over the helm of the company when his parents finally decided to fully retire, Jake knew the time would come when more would be expected of him than the rogue troubleshooting role he played now. He just wished he was more excited about it.
Of course, if he delegated more now, it would mean less travel, less chance of total burnout. Also less chance of scheduling time with Natalie. Unless he went ahead and pursued her openly, and to hell with the boundaries.
That made him pause. “Well, hell, Lannister, if you’re going to make some changes, might as well start with the one you want most.” And just like that, before he could change his mind, he scooped up the phone and dialed her office number.
Two minutes later and several tries to cradle the receiver later, he was still attempting to deal with the blow he’d just taken.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Holcomb has taken a sabbatical. May I direct your call to her temporary replacement?”
He’d sat there, dumbfounded, long enough for the person on the other end to repeat the message. Just in case he wasn’t sufficiently blown away the first time. He’d managed to mumble something and end the call.
He stared at the stack of notes on the bed and snatched them up. He tore through them, knowing this was the only place she’d try to contact him. He went through the stack twice. No note.
“What the hell is going on?” He threw the notes on the bed. Was she still going to meet him in New Orleans? Damn! He hated feeling so bewildered, so helpless. Where was she? Did she need him? Why in the hell had she left her firm, even temporarily? He realized just how little he really knew about her. Where would she go? Was she home? Was it her pal, Liza? Her family?
He stood and paced the room. Should he call her place in New York? He had that number, too. He sat heavily on the side of the bed. If she needed him, she knew she could contact him here in Dallas. What was really upsetting him was that something had happened to her…and she hadn’t turned to him for help.
He braced his head in his hands. Wasn’t this precisely what you wanted? his inner voice taunted. No snags, no real life problems, no annoying problems left for you to solve? He shoveled his fingers through his damp hair. So, okay, yes, that’s what he’d thought he wanted. He swore long and loud and flopped back on the bed. And it had stopped being what he wanted the moment he’d first made love to her.
“So where in the hell does that leave me?” he asked the ceiling. He glanced over at the phone and knew he wasn’t going to call her. What he was going to do was start making some changes in his life. Then hope like hell she showed up in New Orleans. After that, all bets were off.
“YOU’RE ACTING like a child.” Natalie waited outside her father’s bedroom door. His locked bedroom door. “Okay, fine. I’ll send Nurse Ratchet up instead.” She counted to ten, then smiled wearily when she heard the lock click off.
She entered the room to find her father standing at the window, looking out on the rear formal garden. “I don’t understand why I can’t simply be left alone. I am, after all, a grown man.”
If Natalie wasn’t so tired of this discussion, she’d have pointed out the petulance in his tone. But that would get her nowhere. Neither would whining or kowtowing. No, what worked with her father, or at least had the best chance of working, was directness.
“Yes, you are a grown man. But even after this, you think you are indestructible.”
He swung around, ready to defend himself, but she cut him off. Quietly, but effectively.
“I happen to love you. Very much. That’s why I’m here.” She found a small smile in the face of her father’s sudden discomfort. It shouldn’t be endearing, but it was. It was perhaps his greatest weakness, but one she forgave him for. His guidance and advice might be misdirected, but she knew he loved her. “I came home because I was very afraid that, left to your own hard-headed ways, you’d end up in the hospital again.” Her breath caught and surprising tears rose to her eyes. “I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to lose you.”
Had he been another kind of man, he might have opened his arms and welcomed her into them. But she didn’t expect what he wasn’t able to give. That way she wasn’t disappointed. He did have to clear his throat before he spoke, and she took her measure of comfort in that small, but telling, action.