No, her little foray into his family and business background hadn’t answered those questions. Questions she almost desperately wanted answers for…questions destined to remain forever unanswered, as soon as she placed that call to Dallas.
She reached for the phone, then paused. So what if she didn’t know his favorite vegetable? She already knew all the really important stuff. He had a good heart. He was a gentlemen to the core, but willing to push her when he thought she needed it. He was honest. He refused to take the easy way if a more difficult path might prove more beneficial in the long run. So what if she’d learned these things in bed? Surely they applied to the man himself in any situation. Her heart knew.
She yanked up the phone and called Liza. “Thank God,” she said, when her friend answered her phone at work.
“What happened?” Liza asked instantly. Liza was great about skipping the small talk. It was one of the many things Natalie cherished about their friendship.
She’d already told Liza about her father’s heart attack. She’d called from the hospital. Now she told her the rest, from her sister’s call onward. She told her about everything except the one thing she really wanted to talk about. Jake.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry!” Liza said when she was finished. “Can’t they hire a nurse or something?” She didn’t even wait for a reply; she knew Natalie’s family very well. “I know, I know. Wishful thinking. It’s just that it’s not fair that you have to give up everything and run home to Papa.”
Natalie already felt better. She might not throw tantrums over things, but it never hurt to have someone else do it on her behalf. “I don’t have a choice. Not this time. But thanks for sticking up for me.”
Liza snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Like you need hand-holding. I’m sure you’ve already made all the plans and taken care of everything. God forbid you mope and whine. Lord knows, I would. But then, the last person my folks would turn to for help is me.” Liza’s parents had divorced when she was a teenager, leaving her mostly to her own devices as they spent most of their time wrapped up in themselves.
That pattern hadn’t changed in the years since. She rarely heard from them, and when they did call it was usually to announce some new engagement or marriage. Liza had stopped attending these events somewhere around wedding number four for each of them. She loved them both, but pretty much left them alone, as they did her, and everyone was the happier for it.
Natalie sighed. “Yeah, well, I’d trade you at the moment.”
“Be careful what you wish for.”
Wishes. She knew what she’d wish for. An endless weekend in New Orleans with Jake. Her stomach knotted and her heart hurt as the reality that she was never going to see him again truly began to sink in. “Liza, I have to tell you something.”
“There’s more?”
“I’m making up for lost time.”
“Hey, are you implying that I’ve taken the lion’s share of whining lately?”
Natalie smiled. She might be putting a career on hold and losing her secret thrill, but Liza would always be there for her. “You? Whine?”
“Okay, smart-ass. I’ll let that go, basically because I can’t defend myself against it and we both know it. So. I’m totally ready to wallow in your misery. Bring it on.” Then she gasped. “Oh, no. You’re not giving up the loft, are you? Is that what you wanted to tell me? Because I know you love that place. If money is the problem, then let me help you. You can pay me back whenever. Personally, I think you should make an exception about that trust fund of yours and finally dip into it. After all, it’s your family that is forcing this sacrifice on you—the least they should do is foot the bill for this. You shouldn’t have to lose everything just because you’re the only one who takes no guff from that hardhead of a father of yours.” She paused for a breath, then dove back in. “And what will he say about this? He might argue with you about your career choice, but you know damn well he’s proud of your independence.”
“Only because he truly believes I’ll eventually see the light and give it all up to come to work for the good of the family. He can be a very patient man when it comes to proving a point. Of course, he’ll gloat for life if that ever comes to pass, so in his mind it’s a worthwhile gamble.”
Liza didn’t laugh this time. “Maybe, but he’s going to throw a fit when he finds out he finally won, but only because he’s weak and needs taking care of. Talk about pissing the old guy off. You might kill him just showing up.”
“Liza,” she quietly admonished. Liza was her one sounding board in the occasional rail and rant against her family, and it was a fairly typical statement for Liza to make. But the memory of standing in that sterile little room, waiting for the surgeon to come out and tell her if she was indeed an orphan or not, was simply too fresh.
“I’m sorry,” Liza said sincerely, even if Natalie knew she held little affection for her father. But her compassion for her friend was boundless, and Natalie embraced that. She was strong, but everyone needed compassion once in a while.
“I just hate this for you,” Liza added quietly.
“I know. I do, too. But it’s what I have to do, you know?”
“Yeah. But I don’t have to like it.”
Natalie found a smile despite the burning sensation behind her eyes. “But as for the loft, don’t worry. I’ve got some stock options I can cash in to keep up on rent for at least the next couple of months. After that, we’ll see.” She managed a laugh. “Besides, I’ll need a place to escape to for the weekend when the slings and arrows get too heavy at home.”
“You can always fly out and see me.”
“Not on my currently nonexistent personal expense account, I can’t. No more company flights, remember?”
“Promise me you’ll let me fly you out if you need a break. Even if it’s only for a weekend. And whenever I’m in New York, you’ll come in and we’ll do something wild and frivolous. On me. Deal?”
“Deal,” she said, knowing Liza wouldn’t accept anything else. “You’re the best, you know that?”
“I certainly am. And don’t you forget it!”
“Not a chance.” It wasn’t until Natalie hung up that she realized she’d never told Liza about Jake.
It was just as well, she decided. It was too fresh right now. Maybe in the distant future when they were sitting around discussing their love lives, or lack thereof, she’d dredge up this one perfect little affair and share it.
It wasn’t like she was going to forget even the tiniest detail of it, no matter how much time passed.
She glanced at the clock and realized her cab would be here momentarily. She looked at the name of the Dallas hotel, written out in Jake’s own hand from the itinerary he’d left her that first time they’d been together almost three months ago. All she had to do was call information, get the number, leave a message, and all would be taken care of. Neat and tidy, just the way she liked it.
But then there was a honk from below. Her cab was here. She looked at Jake’s handwritten list and told herself the sensation rushing through her was not relief. She was merely putting off the inevitable. But though she knew the list by heart, she grabbed it and stuffed it in her purse. She’d call from Connecticut after she settled back in at home.
Home. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she remembered.
She knew it would be worse. She hadn’t lived at home in ten years, not since she was eighteen.
Liza was right. Her father would be none too pleased to discover his baby had only abandoned her stubbornly held dreams to come take care of him. No, he wouldn’t like that at all.
“Well, that makes two of us, Daddy.” But like it or not, she was going to help him get well. Even if it killed them both.
12
JAKE TOSSED the pile of notes on his hotel bed, dumped his garment bag and laptop case on the other one and headed straight for the shower. Damn, but he wished he was in New Orleans and not Dallas. He wished Natalie was waiting for him. It had been the week from hell, and if he never saw the inside of another hotel room he’d be more than happy. Unless that hotel room contained the woman he couldn’t get off his mind.
He stepped under the hot spray and groaned in appreciation. He soaped up and tried like hell to convince himself what a bad idea it would be to give in to the urge to call her at work. He knew the number by heart now, having picked up the phone and dialed it several times since she’d left him in Chicago.
Getting back to work hadn’t remotely helped him put their relationship back in perspective. He wanted more than this physical romp they’d agreed to share. He wanted to be able to hear her voice whenever he wanted to. So what if they lived across the country from one another? With their travel schedules, surely they could sustain some kind of committed relationship if they could call and talk between actual face-to-face visits.
He wanted to talk about her work, her day; tell her about his. Share the good news, family news, bad news, and just shoot the breeze. He found himself constantly wondering what she’d think of this or that, and was getting increasingly frustrated by the boundaries they had set up.