"Oh," I replied.
I still remembered how I felt when the rumors first started spreading about us, but at the time they had been merely rumors. Now our relationship was real. But it was also very new. Was I ready to allow everyone in the hospital to know about my private life? It would only encourage the rumors that were already circulating about us. Some people had even suggested that I'd slept my way into my internship, even though I'd been hired by a committee of doctors that didn't include Lex at all. Would other speculations follow suit if our relationship went public?
"We can talk about that later," I said after a moment. "But for now, I need to get going. I have a shift starting in a few minutes and I need to change."
"Of course," Lex replied, though he was looking at me closely. It was eerie how well Lex knew me already, how easily he could see my hesitation. "I'll see you later."
"Bye," I said with a reassuring smile as I turned and walked towards the door.
Don't freak out about this, I told myself as I made my way downstairs to the Emergency Department locker room to change. It's not a big deal. No one is going to care.
Somehow, though, I knew I was lying to myself.
Chapter 18
I was able to put all of these new anxieties aside for a few days, however, as I had agreed to a mini-vacation with Lex in the Keys. His private jet was located at a small airport only twenty minutes from his house, and from there, the flight was short and comfortable. Reclining in the plush seats of the lavish aircraft, we sipped champagne and discussed what we would do in Key West. I'd never visited, so I allowed Lex to make all of the plans, happy to just relax and enjoy the time away from the real world and all of my worries.
There was a limousine waiting for us at the tiny airport, which took us to a small but lavish hotel. The room was huge, with pale blue walls and sheer drapes. There was a king-sized bed in the middle of the room and floor-length windows overlooking the harbor. It was late by the time we checked in, so all I could see were tiny balls of light indicating yachts in the harbor as I peered out the window.
"The view will be amazing tomorrow," Lex whispered in my year as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, gazing out onto the bay.
"It's amazing even now," I replied. "In the dark."
We were both tired, having worked full shifts earlier that day, so we ended up passing out soon after we had settled in and ordered room service.
"I promise to make it up to you in the morning," Lex mumbled into my shoulder before quickly drifting off. I soon followed suit, lulled to sleep by the comforting warmth of his breath of against my neck.
I woke up the following morning with the sun shining brightly through the windows and Lex's warm body wrapped around mine. I smiled in satisfaction, realizing I didn't need to be up for work. However, the noises outside kept me from easily falling back to sleep. I shifted beneath Lex until he was grumbling awake, even less of a morning person on vacation than he was at home.
After allowing Lex to make up for the previous night in the shower that morning-I liked to think that shower sex had become "our thing"-we relaxed over bagels and coffee at a small café across from our hotel. We then strolled around the beach, watching the sunbathers and boats. I'd been living in Miami for a few weeks now, but my internship at the hospital kept me from really having a chance to enjoy it. Here in Key West, it was easier to stop and smell the roses-or in this instance, the ocean.
"Key West is beautiful," I said as we watched the herons and egrets. "But do you think we'll have time to actually sunbathe? I've always wanted to but never had the time, since I've moved to Florida."
"Of course," Lex assured me, "We'll make that happen today!"
And we did, for a few lazy hours, until I couldn't stand the sun any longer, and Lex got almost burned-but he patiently waited till it was me who suggested that we go back.
He insisted on ducking into every little boutique that caught my eye and refused to let me pay for anything. I tried to argue, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, purchasing anything I seemed to show even the slightest interest in.
That evening, Lex made a reservation at an upscale restaurant where we could watch the sunset. We arrived early to walk around the beach. A few minutes later, we were seated at an outside table, with an unobstructed view of the ocean.
"Thank you so much for this," I replied after we placed our order. "This trip has been so lovely."
"Very lovely," Lex agreed, though his voice had a weird timber to it. I realized he was gazing at me, not the view of the ocean. I couldn't help but blush under his heated look.
"Cheesy," I replied, trying to break the tension. I had never been good at romance or mushy things. I was a girl of science, after all. But, despite everything, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
"So," Lex began as the salads arrived. "I did want to talk to you about something."
"And what that might that be? Not the pregnancy, right? We won't know till next week," I said, hoping he won't bring the big "P" word.
"No, don't worry, it's not that. I couldn't help but notice that you had a slight … reaction when I warned you about the inevitable rumors earlier this week."
"Oh … yeah," I replied, growing serious. "Sorry. It just seems a little early to worry about that, don't you think?"
"I don't know. Every time I dated someone before, it seemed the whole city knew about it. And people at the hospital are the worst. I once dated a nurse; she claimed I was the reason she had to quit her job and was forced to find another position," Lex admitted. "She's a bad example, because I think she facilitated some of the rumors herself. She was dating me for my money, I soon realized."
I smiled. I definitely wasn't "after" Lex because of his wealth, and I was pretty sure he knew that-and respected me all the more for it. I liked his confidence, so much at odds to mine. Even though I was ambitious and self-reliant, at times my apprehensiveness and uncertainty overwhelmed me. His confidence in me, in particular, was almost soothing. I'd never gotten that feeling from my parents. Plus, I liked that he admired my intelligence. I didn't need to hide it from him, or be ashamed of my determination.
That he was now trying to protect me from what was inevitably going to happen, was classic Lex. I shouldn't have been surprised that the man who spends his free time going over old cases of possible patient mistreatment would want to make sure that he handled even a personal relationship in the most professional way possible.
"I'm only looking out for you," he continued. "Just try not to think about it when it happens. People can be cruel sometimes, and I'd hate to see you suffer from their malicious attitude."
I nodded, and we let the subject drop as our food arrived. After enjoying the most divine lobster bisque that I'd ever tasted, we took a long stroll along the beach. We seemed to walk forever, happy in our silence, and I couldn't help but pause as I gazed out at the setting sun.
"I've seen the sun set over Lake Michigan in Chicago from a boat cruise," I told Lex, who was huddled up next to me, trying to brace himself against the chilly ocean wind. "It's nothing like this. The ocean is so immense - so breathtaking."
Turning to take in Lex's reaction, I realized that-much like in the restaurant-he wasn't looking out at the sunset at all, but at me. I moved towards him, and he pushed an errant curl behind my ear.
"You," he whispered over the wind, "are breathtaking."
I wanted to protest the sheer corniness of the comment-of the entire moment, on the beach in Key West, watching the sun as it set. But I just couldn't. Instead, I shivered-and not from the brisk ocean breeze. Lex obviously thought I was chilly, however, as he took off his light jacket and draped it across my shoulders.
Reaching up, I ran my fingers across the side of his face, gazing into his pale grey eyes as the wind whipped through our hair.
"You are too," I replied before I could stop myself.
Leaning forward, I kissed him: in the middle of the beach, with the sun setting behind us-like something out of a movie. It's probably the most clichéd thing I've ever done, but it felt so right in the moment. Pulling back slightly, I smiled at him.
"I'm not scared of stupid gossip," I whispered. "Let them talk, see if I care."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep. I let them frazzle me the last time the rumors circulated about us. But now-I don't care. It's my life, no one can claim I'm some kind of a gold-digger since I'm a doctor, and, damn it, if they go too far, I can stand up for myself." I still wasn't sure I was ready for the barrage of rumors that would most certainly overwhelm me when we got back, but forcing myself to think that I couldn't care less helped me calm down about the subject.
"That's what I lo-," he stopped, for a split second, "like about you so much. You're gorgeous, and audacious, and you have a beautiful mind." He sucked in a breath. "Damn it, I'll just say it now. I love you, Michelle Carter."
Without even letting me respond, he leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine again. I could feel him smiling against my lips. Allowing myself to forget about everything that had happened over the last few weeks and what would happen when we got back to the real world, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled Lex closer as we kissed against the setting sun.