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Her Not-So-Secret Diary(31)

By:Anne Oliver


'Oh, Pamela, Pamela … you're in on this too?' She pressed her hands to her  flushed cheeks. They'd organised this behind her back. Pam hadn't  breathed a word at the party. Not a look. Not even a glimmer.

'Okay?'

She nodded, struggling not to feel overwhelmed. 'Okay.'

A woman met them in the lobby. She wore a baby-pink shirt, smelled of  sandalwood and exuded serenity. She smiled a somewhat conspiratorial  welcome at Jared, then turned her smile on Sophie. 'Good evening,  Sophie.'

'Good evening.' When the woman indicated she should follow her, Sophie looked to Jared. 'What's happening?'

'A thank-you for your effort on Lissa's behalf, and mine, these past  couple of weeks. You wanted a day-spa package. You've got a night-spa  one instead.'

'Oh, I … '

'I'll be waiting when you're done. Thanks for this, Aimee. I owe you  one.' He nodded to the woman, then kissed Sophie lightly on the cheek.  'Enjoy.'

And Sophie spent the next hour and a half in the hotel's Wellness centre  being treated like a celebrity by two-yes, two-therapists. The popular  Goddess facial. A de-stress and aromatherapy massage. Chakra balancing.  Mineral salt scrub and manicure.

She was pampered within an inch of her life.

When she was done Aimee gave her a luxuriously soft towelling robe  embroidered with the hotel's logo to put on and showed her to a private  elevator that led to a penthouse suite. She should be tired but she'd  never felt more alive.

When Sophie had stepped inside the lift, Aimee pressed the button and smiled. 'Enjoy your evening.'

'Oh, I will.' I will. Wow, she didn't need an elevator, she was already floating.

But she left her stomach behind as the lift shot skyward. When the doors  slid open again Jared was waiting in a matching robe. The warm golden  glow of candlelight greeted her. Too many to count. Squat, thin, tall, a  rainbow of colours, they were scattered over every available surface.  'Oh, my … Jared … this is … too much.'

'I told you before, there's never too much of a good thing.' He moved in  for a long knee-weakening kiss. 'Mmm. You smell divine,' he murmured  moments later.

'I feel divine.' She threw her arms around his neck. 'And my chakras are in perfect balance.'

'Are they now?' He sniffed her jaw. 'Jasmine?'

'And geranium and rose, with a whiff of citrus.' She licked his lips. 'Mmm. And you've been eating chocolate berries.'

'Strawberries, actually. Want one?'

'In a minute.' She lingered over the taste a moment longer, then moved  to the wide panoramic window where a table held a bottle of celebratory  bubbly and two glasses. Surfers Paradise nightlife sprawled below them  like fairyland.

The view was as seductive as the man behind her. She caught his  reflection in the darkened glass pane as he moved towards her. Tonight's  whole experience was an aphrodisiac.

Watching his eyes in the glass, she poured two glasses of the wine but  left them on the table and murmured a seductive, 'You know I'm naked  under this robe.'

Large, firm hands reached out and squeezed her shoulders. 'I was  counting on it,' he murmured back, his deep voice rumbling down her  spine as he tugged the robe's belt open and drew the fabric off her  shoulders. He kissed one shoulder then the other, pulled the robe  completely away.                       
       
           



       

She heard the soft swish of air as he stripped off his own and then he  turned her in his arms. He reached for the glasses, handed her one. 'To  fantasies … whatever form they take.'

She raised her glass. 'To fantasies.' She took a sip. 'You've made mine come true, you know. I … I don't know how to … I can't-'

'Shh.' Jared put a finger against her lips. 'Not now.' He took their glasses, set them down on the table.

Jared didn't take his eyes off her as he carried her to the bed. This  luxury suite might have been a dingy motel room on the edge of the  Pacific Highway out of Ballina for all Jared knew, or even cared.

Their last night.

Their last time.

She rose up on her knees in the centre of the bed and he joined her,  taking it slow as if they could make time stand still while the  candlelight flickered and danced. Neither spoke but neither felt the  necessity because everything was in their eyes as they watched each  other. Their emotions, their desires, their awareness of the inverted  hourglass.

They lay down together. It was different tonight. He felt it in the way  she touched him, as if memorising the imprint of his skin against hers.

He was making his own memories. His lips lingered at her neck so he  might recall the taste of her skin tomorrow, when she was gone. A week  from now. A year.

He moved on top of her and, bracing himself on his elbows, stared down.  Hair an ebony fan on the pillow, her own unique scent beneath the  jasmine … just a shimmer of it in the air. Her eyes drenched with  passion … and more.

Through fighting it, he almost surrendered to the inevitable. Was this  the time to tell her that his feelings for her went deeper than they had  for any woman he'd known? To ask her to consider something on a more  permanent basis? Or tell her he'd meet her in a month for a weekend of  loving in Paris before bringing her home to live with him.

He leaned down and kissed her. She moaned and moved beneath him as he  slid inside her, her hands caressing his cheeks. Perhaps this was where  she might tell him she'd changed her mind about going. Or that she'd be  back in a month because she couldn't stand to be without him. She might  ask him to take a break from work, to fly over and meet her for a  romantic weekend in Paris or Rome, then surprise him by accompanying him  back to Australia. To his bed, his home, his life.

And that would be the emotion of the night talking. But in the clear light of day …



Sophie's hands were cold. It was a clear Gold Coast day but she clamped  them together to ease the chill while she waited beside her luggage. Her  gaze roamed over the apartment she'd called home for the past four  years. The plumped cushions, the cheery mugs on the kitchen bench. The  first place she'd ever felt comfortable in. Safe in. Melissa would love  it. Jared would no doubt come by and check on his sister … Jared.

Last night …  Two fat tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks. When  she was ready, when she was strong enough, brave enough, she'd write it  all down. The man, the memories. She'd start a book of memoirs instead  of a dream diary-she didn't need that crutch any more. Jared had taught  her self-acceptance, given her back her self-esteem.

She just couldn't be the woman he needed.

He'd dropped her off after a quick lunch in the hotel's bistro and was  coming by any moment now to take her to the airport. But he wouldn't be  taking her-she'd booked a cab. No lingering farewells. A swift clean  break.

She jumped at his familiar knock, checked her watch then, inhaling a deep breath, walked to the door and pulled it open.

Their eyes met. The way they had the first time he'd come to her door.  Same heart-stopping response. He'd always be it for her. She dredged up a  smile. 'You're early.'

He didn't smile back, just stood there a moment, then rubbed a hand over  his jaw. 'I wanted to talk to you before we leave for the airport.'

He closed the door, tangled her fingers with his to lead her to the couch. 'It might be easier if we sit down.'

Perched on the edge, she watched his eyes change, the way they did when he was deep in thought. Or deep inside her …

Her whole body went rigid-with fear, with hope, with fear again. Her  heart wept in her chest. She would have clenched her fingers together  again or pulled them away but he had a firm hold on both hands. She  shook her head. 'I think we-'

'Sophie.' He looked down at their joined hands, then up to her eyes  again. 'I realise my timing's all wrong, and maybe you don't want to  hear this, but I can't let you leave without telling you.'                       
       
           



       

Her breath hitched and he paused, just looking at her like … like …

'I know you need to tick this trip off your list of life's goals,' he  said, 'and if you don't you'll regret it. I will never intentionally  tread on your dreams, Sophie, or try to stifle your life in any way, but  I was thinking, hoping, that we might-'

'Stop.' She tugged her hands from his and pushed at him. 'Wait.' He was  heading in a direction she couldn't go and her heart was already  breaking. 'I need to tell you something first.'

Needing distance and at least some modicum of control, she stood. Not  wanting to read what she'd see in those jade-green eyes, she needed to  look somewhere else, anywhere but at his face. She dropped her chin,  stared at the floor. 'I can't have children, Jared.' Her words choked in  her throat and in the stunned silence she heard his indrawn breath. 'So  whatever you were about to say, don't.'