Her Not-So-Secret Diary(18)

She watched the stars track across the night sky. She knew she and Jared  would have ended up in bed if he hadn't been called away. Overwhelmed  by the burning tension between them on her balcony and his obvious  intention to take things further, she'd let her hair down. Literally.

She'd never played the seductress role but with Jared … well … it was  different …  And there'd been just enough wine in her system to loosen her  up and free that inner woman she'd denied for so long.

Maybe he was the best thing to ever happen to her.

No. She shook her head against her pillow. She couldn't allow herself to  think that. Would not. She had to keep her focus on her future. Hers.  She was going overseas. Her goal, her life. He was just that fling she'd  fantasised about.

'Yes, fling,' she declared into the darkness. And, as she'd stated to  him on her opinion of flings, it was going to be self-indulgent and  irresponsible. And risky, a little voice whispered.

But didn't she deserve one self-absorbed, giddy and reckless performance before she turned thirty? Only two years away.

She pushed away the melancholy thought that by that age she'd always  expected to be happily married with her boisterous brood of three kids  and assorted pets.

Circumstances changed, expectations changed accordingly.



Back at the office on Monday morning there was a mountain of work and  preparation to be done before Wednesday. She shook her head when she  reread the report she'd written, jabbed the delete key and started over.  It seemed that every two minutes Jared popped into her mind. His name,  the way he kissed, something he'd said, making her flustered and  forgetful and somehow rendering her incapable of stringing together a  coherent sentence, let alone transferring it to the computer.

What was this? There didn't seem to be any room in her mind for anything  else but him. Nothing like it had ever happened to her before. Not with  Glen, and he'd been the only man she'd dated seriously and she'd  married him at eighteen.

Jared phoned on Tuesday afternoon to make final arrangements for their  trip. Because she hadn't been expecting to hear his voice, her heart did  a stop-start and her pulse rat-a-tat-tatted. He made her feel like a  ditsy teenager, self-conscious and giggly.

She couldn't wait to see him again. Since when had she felt that way? It  was dangerously like missing someone. Nowadays she made sure her  happiness didn't depend on other people. So how was it possible? And  she'd only known him a few days.



And then it was Wednesday.

Jared was picking her up soon after lunch, which gave Sophie time to  ransack her bag and cull unnecessaries. To add an extra jacket. At the  last minute she fretted over today's choice of attire. Casual or  business? She eventually decided on something comfortable yet feminine.  She was changing her monotone white trousers and blouse for a more  vibrant silky knit dress when he knocked.

Her heart jumped into her mouth at the commanding sound. He was early  again. She'd wanted to be super relaxed and in control when he arrived  and she was anything but.

She sucked in a deep calming breath before opening the door. 'Hi.' Her  voice still came out more breathless than she would have liked.

'Hi, yourself.'

His eyes met hers and seemed to brighten to the colour of moss. She  raised a hand to the door jamb. There really was something about that  creased cheek that made her weak at the knees and tipped her off-centre.  Which was why her gaze took a quick southern slide …

And ooh, yeah … what Jared did for a pair of jeans. Dark denim faded in all the right places and tight where it counted.

She dragged her gaze up-and over a blinding white Ralph Lauren polo  shirt with Sanderson's logo screen-printed in navy over one  solid-looking pectoral. Top two buttons undone, a few wisps of dark  masculine hair, prominent Adam's apple, a tiny C-shaped scar where maybe  he'd nicked himself shaving once upon a time …

'Nice dress,' he said, and she realised while she'd been eyeing him up he'd been returning the favour. 'Orange suits you.'                       
       
           



       

'Orange.' She screwed up her nose and clucked her tongue-such a common  and inadequate word for such a beautiful colour. 'Stormy sunrise.'

'Even better.' He grinned. Another blinding moment. Then his grin  sobered a bit and his eyes took on a sexy silvery glint as he reached  for her rolling suitcase at her side. 'Maybe we'll see one of those  together in the next couple of days.'

'Oh?' she replied, casually ignoring his meaning as she locked her door. 'Did they forecast bad weather?'

'Blue skies all the way.' He smiled, then headed for the elevator.

She followed him inside the lift without comment. Ridiculous not to now  when they'd already shared more than just air and were about to get even  closer in the next couple of days.

A moment later she settled into his luxury convertible for the  three-hour drive. It was, as Jared had promised, blue skies, and a  lovely day to be on the road rather than stuck inside an office  somewhere.

Before they turned onto the Pacific Motorway, which would take them past  Brisbane and on to the Sunshine Coast, Jared asked, 'Do you mind if we  call in at Crystal's place on the way?'

The question seemed to come out of the blue and jolted Sophie right out of her comfort zone. 'No, of course not. Is she okay?'

'Fine. She came home from hospital on Saturday and Ian took a few days  off, but it's her first day on her own with the bub and Ian's working  late tonight to catch up. She asked if I'd drop by.'

'If you ask me, I think Jared just wants another look at his niece.'  Sophie smiled his way and saw his mouth kick up at the edge.

They pulled up outside a cream brick home surrounded by several palms  and a high fence. 'I'll just wait here … ' She didn't want to intrude, nor  did she want to see a newborn baby and experience the associated  emotions that went with it.

He turned in his seat to face her. A puzzled frown puckered his brow.  'Crystal's expecting to meet you. I told her we couldn't stay long.'

'You told her about me?'

'I told her my temporary PA was accompanying me to Noosa, yeah.'

Oh. Of course. A tinge of embarrassment stung her cheeks and she smiled  casually to cover it, glad she was wearing her sunglasses. 'This is a  family time … I mean there's a million things she'll be catching up  on-sleep, or feeding … '

'She's not. I spoke to her just before I picked you up.' He tossed his  sunglasses on the dash and swung open his door. 'Come on, five minutes.'

Sophie followed. What else could she do? She didn't want to see the  baby, or, worse, to be asked if she wanted a hold. And she just knew  neither of them would understand. They would think her rude. Still, she  could be lucky. New babies slept a lot. Didn't they? Sometimes.

Tension snapped her spine straight all the way to the door, where they  were greeted by a gorgeous golden retriever who raced around from the  side of the house.

'Meet Goldie.' Jared ruffled the dog's fur. 'Hello, girl.' Her eyes  drooled adoration up at him as he caught the expressive face in his  hands, and was rewarded with a sloppy kiss.

'Oh, isn't she beautiful?' Sophie crouched beside Jared to join in the petting. 'Do you have pets?'

'No. Our much-loved and ancient Betsy died a few years back. I'm too  busy to train a new puppy and now that Lissa's home less and less … it  wouldn't be fair on the dog.'

But Sophie saw the fleeting shadow that crossed his gaze before his sister opened the door.

'Great meeting you, Sophie.' A remarkably hassle-free-looking Crystal led the way to her kitchen. 'I've heard a lot about you.'

Sophie looked to Jared, who shrugged his shoulders and blamed Lissa. He  set the bag of supplies on a table crammed at one end with baby products  and a florist's arrangement of pink blooms that were starting to wilt,  then promptly disappeared down a hallway, presumably to see his niece.

Unlike Melissa, who shared no apparent familial traits with Jared,  Crystal was the feminine epitome of her brother. Same tall, dark,  green-eyed attractiveness. And looking amazing considering she'd given  birth only a week ago.

They chatted a few moments while Crystal unloaded an unlikely selection  of disposable nappies, pâté and crackers and a fresh pineapple from  Jared's eco-bag. She was as easy-going as Melissa. Both sisters  obviously thought the world of Jared and seemed to be ever-so-subtly  interested in Sophie's life.

Sophie was starting to relax and think that it was about time they got  moving when Crystal said, 'You have to meet Arabella before you go.'                       
       
           



       

Oh. Sophie bit the inside of her lip. 'I wouldn't want to disturb … '

But Crystal was already leading the way and the last thing Sophie wanted  to do was offend the new mother in any way, shape or form. These days  she was experienced at masking her feelings. No one would know that  inside where it was just her, her heart was still crying over her  once-in-a-million miracle that had never had a chance.