“I am. However, I cannot sleep.”
He did look tired. No, more than tired, world-weary. Her heart panged with such sympathy, the sensation shocked her. Why should she feel sympathy for him? He’d insulted her, invaded her privacy. Yet she found herself putting her hand over his and pressing it close. “Go home and go to sleep. Forget about me.”
“I will not sleep.”
“Nonsense. You should have some warmed wine. Tell your valet to put some soothing herbs in it.”
“I have tried everything. No amount of herbs is going to help. I cannot sleep until you relent and say you will allow me to care for you.”
She let her hand drop away from his. “I don’t understand this depth of concern.”
“Jeannie, darling, you know I am quite foxed.” “Yes, you’re reeking of it…and you smell of a brothel.”
A twinkle entered his eyes. “Well, that didn’t do any good, either.”
“Didn’t it?” She injected false, sweet sympathy in her tone, though why she was playing his game, teasing with him, she didn’t have the faintest idea.
“The women there were not quite as lovely as I remembered, though I was just there and had a fine time a two months ago.”
Gladness swelled within her chest. She couldn’t deny it, couldn’t help a small smile. “Something happened to change your mind since then?”
“Something did indeed.”
Her face ached. She was grinning at him like a silly chit. He smiled, too. The last of her opposition floated away. She should have reached for it and held on to it but she suddenly didn’t have the will.
He lifted his hand from her cheek and brushed a spot high on the crest of her cheekbone with the tips of two fingers. “You have ink smudged on your face.”
She touched her face. “I fell asleep, writing at my desk.”
“So, you don’t sleep either?”
“I sleep in the daytime.”
“But not much lately.” His voice resonated with tenderness. “You have shadows under your eyes.”
“Yes, not much lately.”
“I shall tell you something,” he said in a confessional tone.
“Are we sharing secrets now?”
“Yes, I think so but I probably wouldn’t tell you if I weren’t so damned foxed. You must promise not to hold it against me later.”
“Yes, of course.”
“I care for you.”
His tone resonated with such emotion. She could feel the ache of it in her chest. That tone and the meaning of his words, crashed over her like a splash of icy water, dispelling the playful mood. With her heart thudding and her mouth gone dry, she searched his face.
His gaze was serious, he wasn’t teasing. He believed it.
But they didn’t know each other and it wasn’t possible. “David, please do—”
“I don’t know how deeply the feeling goes. I don’t intend to find out. I have no time for a mistress.” Regret echoed in every syllable. The aching in her chest rose to form a lump in her throat. As though she were just as regretful as he. Which was ridiculous. She had no wish to be any man’s kept woman. The key phrase there was “kept.” Kept waiting on his needs.
“I simply have no time,” he repeated, more firmly and with less emotion.
Suddenly, she understood. He was just as protective of his peace as she was her own, and just as afraid of the emotions developing between them. He had not intended to insult her with the contract. He may even have been trying to protect her in a way. Sympathy overcame her indignation and sense of threat.
“I once cared for someone else,” he said.
“Thérèse.”
“Yes, Thérèse. It ended badly. For her. I had no control over what happened to her, yet it haunts me. I want to do what I can to ensure that you don’t come to—”
Unable to bear listening any further, she spoke over him. “I have always looked after myself. I do not need a protector.”
Passion flashed into his eyes. He cupped her face. The move was so abrupt that it made her startle. “It must be so exhausting for you to be brittle against the world. I would adore softening your harsh edges. I want to take away your worries.”
He devoured her with his gaze, as if he would possess her by the intensity of his stare alone. For some odd reason, it hurt her to see that need. She caressed his hand where it lay on her face. “I don’t want to invade your life, David.”
“I have already invaded yours. Isn’t that the problem between us?”
“It’s not a problem.” She tilted her face and stood on her tiptoes so she could lean closer, so that he could feel her breath on his lips. “Not tonight.”