She didn't even want to consider the alternative. That God would take Nick home to be with his wife and daughter.
The ride to the hospital didn't take too long, although Joey was half asleep by the time they arrived. With Officer McCarthy as their escort, they made their way to the waiting area and were given a quick update about Nick's condition.
"Detective Butler is still in surgery," the woman behind the desk informed them. "But he should be out soon. Now tell me what relation are you to the patient?"
Rachel swallowed hard. "I- We're good friends. He, uh, has sisters, but I don't know how to get in touch with them." She knew he had parents, although she wasn't sure how to contact them, either. How was it that she was more familiar with the names of his dead wife and daughter than his living family members?
Maybe calling herself a friend was stretching the truth. She was just a woman who'd needed Nick's protection and his expertise. Nothing more, nothing less.
The kiss they'd shared didn't mean anything. And she'd be stupid to think it had.
She and Joey went to sit down, and soon Joey was snuggled against her, falling asleep. She tucked Officer McCarthy's business card in her pocket and let her head drop back against the wall.
As soon as they found Karl Errol, this nightmare would really be over. She and Joey could go back home to their normal lives. Granted there would still be some red tape before the money was returned her, but she was convinced it would all work out.
She wondered how long Nick would have to stay off duty as a result of his gunshot wound and hoped it wouldn't be too long. Grimly, she realized there was no way she'd ever be able to repay him for everything he'd done for her and for Joey.
He'd put his life and his career on the line for them. More than once. Without Nick's help she wouldn't have managed to get Joey back.
Not only had he kept them both safe, but he'd also taught them to believe in God.
Yet all she could offer in return was to pray for him to recover with the full use of his arm.
* * *
"Ms. Simon?" A hand shook her awake and she blinked, momentarily confused as to where she was. Then she recognized the unmistakable antiseptic smell of a hospital.
"What?" She winced when her neck muscles tightened painfully as she turned toward the hospital employee. "Nick? Is he out of surgery?"
"Yes. The doctor is on his way down to talk to you."
Joey was still asleep beside her and she tried not to wake him as she eased away. She rubbed her hands over her gritty eyes and was surprised to find that the sky outside was beginning to lighten.
A harried surgeon wearing green scrubs came into the room. "Ms. Simon? I'm Dr. Wagner. Detective Butler's surgery went well. We were able to save his arm, although it was touch and go for a while as his brachial artery was injured. He's just about finished in the recovery area and then will be sent to the ICU where they can watch him more closely." He smiled compassionately. "You'll be able to visit him in about forty-five minutes or so."
Her mind was spinning with all the information he'd told her. Although she was certainly relieved that Nick had made it through the surgery, she still couldn't help worrying. "Is there any way he could still lose his arm?" she asked.
For a moment hesitation shadowed the doctor's eyes. "We're going to keep a close eye on his circulation. If there's any change, we'll take him back to surgery. We'll know more after twenty-four hours or so."
Rachel nodded to indicate she understood. "Thank you," she whispered.
The doctor flashed a brief smile before he turned and left. Joey woke up, complaining that he was hungry. Unfortunately, Rachel didn't have any money on her, not even an ID. They'd left everything they had in the cabin, which was likely burned beyond repair by now.
"Here, these are meal passes for the cafeteria," the woman behind the desk said, offering up two small plastic cards. "They're worth about five dollars each."
"Thank you so much," Rachel murmured, taking them gratefully. Getting something to eat would help pass the time until she and Joey could visit Nick in the ICU.
It was closer to an hour later before the ICU called down for them. She held tightly on to Joey's hand as they went into the critical-care area. Nick's room was the second door on the left, so they cautiously approached.
"He looks bad, Mom," Joey choked out, his eyes filling with tears. "He looks like he's going to die."
"Joey, listen to me. The doctor said Nick is stable. He wouldn't lie to us. It's just that Nick is connected to lots of machines right now." She did her best to soothe her son, although she felt just as awful seeing Nick like this.
Rachel stepped forward and took Nick's uninjured hand in hers. "Nick, it's me, Rachel. Joey is here, too. The doctor said you're going to be fine. Do you hear me? You're going to be just fine."
Nick's eyelids fluttered for a moment and he looked directly at her. She smiled. "They said your arm should heal. I don't want you to worry about anything, okay?"
"Where am I?" he asked, his eyes full of confusion.
She tried not to let her fear show. "You're at the hospital in Madison. You just had surgery on your arm."
"But I-can't feel my arm," he whispered in agony.
"Your arm is right here." She patted the heavily bandaged limb gently. "The doctor said there's a good chance you'll make a full recovery." She made sure her tone was encouraging.
"I can't-" Nick stopped, closed his eyes, and turned his head away as if shutting her out.
Rejection seared her soul and she stepped back, keeping her expression neutral for Joey's sake. She didn't want to leave, but he'd made his feelings clear. Did he really think he was going to lose his arm? Where was his faith in God?
She didn't want to think that Nick preferred to be alone through this difficult time, but really, how much did she truly know about him? Maybe he only wanted his family here. Like his parents or his sisters.
She was just a woman he'd gone out of his way to help. Obviously, there was nothing more for her to do here.
She took a deep breath, trying to ease her heartache. This was why she'd avoided becoming emotionally involved. Only this time, she wasn't the only one who would be hurt.
Joey's heart would be broken, as well.
SIXTEEN
Nick fought the rising sense of despair. The doctor had told him that they'd saved his arm, but what was the point if he couldn't use it? His entire career would be over.
He shifted and groaned, and pain slashed through his left arm, robbing him of his breath. Was it a good thing to know he could feel pain? He forced his eyes open and stared at the heavily bandaged limb. His fingers were hugely swollen and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't move them. He concentrated on feeling them move, but no luck.
Nothing. He felt nothing.
With a disgusted sigh, he closed his eyes again, feeling guilty for the way he'd treated Rachel and Joey. They hadn't deserved his anger. He should be thanking God for saving his life, but instead he was focusing on the fact that his arm might never work right again.
Shame burned the back of his throat. He'd taught Rachel and Joey about having faith but couldn't manage to keep his own. Obviously, he owed them an apology.
But where had they gone? Now that he was awake, the pain in his arm throbbed in conjunction with the beat of his heart. His throat was still sore, no doubt from the smoke he'd inhaled out in the woods.
Abruptly, he wondered how Rachel and Joey were doing. After all, they'd inhaled a fair amount of smoke, too. Had they been checked out by a doctor? He shifted in the bed again, and a loud series of beeping noises brought a nurse running into his room.
"Relax, Mr. Butler, you need to calm down."
He almost corrected her-he was a detective, not a mister-but didn't want to waste his energy. "I need to know if Rachel and Joey Simon are both patients here, too," he croaked.
The nurse frowned down at him, as if she were worried about him. "They were here visiting you about twenty minutes ago, don't you remember?"
Twenty minutes? For some reason he thought it had been just a few minutes ago. "Are they still here?"
"I'll check for you, but you have to stay calm," the nurse said firmly. "The doctors spent a lot of time reconstructing the brachial artery in your arm. I can guarantee they won't appreciate having you damage their hard work by trying to get out of bed."
"Just find Rachel and Joey for me," he managed, not bothering to explain that he couldn't move his left arm if he tried.
The nurse left the room and it seemed like a long time before she came back carrying a small IV bag. "I have your antibiotic here," she said as she logged into the computer. "Just give me a few minutes here, okay?"
He did his best to give her the time she needed to scan his wristband and the medication, before she hung it on the IV pump. Only when she finished did he ask. "Rachel and Joey?"