“My betrayal.” Shaw closed her eyes and saw again the awful scars on his back. “I ruined it for both of us. I gave you the reason you needed to stop believing in me, the way you thought I’d stopped believing in you. You saved me, and I threw it all away. Yet here you are, in the middle of my mess of a life, protecting me all over again. While I’ve been shrieking at you, not trusting you, because of some stupid dream. Can you ever forgive me for being so careless and stupid with what we had?”
…
It should have meant everything to Cole, finally knowing the truth about their past. It should have washed everything clean between them, cementing the new start they’d begun to build.
Yeah, a part of him should still be pissed. But he could hear the emptiness and pain behind her memories. He’d been careless, too. He’d thrown away the promises they’d made to each other. He hadn’t known how to hold onto something that perfect. He hadn’t fought hard enough to make her understand that they were supposed to be together forever, no matter what. And she’d clearly suffered as much as he had.
Now he had to drop another shitload of pain on top of what her troubled memories had brought back.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said, meaning it. “You believed in me then, and you believe me now. I don’t need anything more. But there’s another reason why your nightmare’s painting me into the scene from your shooting. Your intuition is picking up on more than you realize. I don’t want to upset you more, but we have to talk about this.”
“Okay,” she said, sounding miserable but determined not to fall apart again.
Which gave him hope. But would remembering as much of their past as she had help her give them the second chance they deserved, once she learned the truth behind his reappearance in her life?
“Your accidents are happening more frequently, and I have every reason to believe that this is only the beginning. I’m going to protect you from whatever happens next, like I did that day in the barn. Tell me you believe that.”
“Of course I believe you,” she said.
Her open expression nearly brought him to his knees. Love. There was only love in her eyes now. Her doubts were gone. He had her complete faith, just as he had all those years ago when he’d thought she’d turned her back on him. He felt an aching desperation to hold onto this moment, to the sweetness of her trusting him. But that wouldn’t keep her safe. And above all else, what Cole wanted most was for Shaw to be safe.
“I couldn’t tell you any of this before,” was his weak-ass opener. “At first I didn’t believe you were in danger, and your memory is so fragile—” He broke off and grimaced. “Shaw, I need you to hear me through and try to remain calm. Give me a chance to explain. I need to know that we’ll still be able to work together, so we can get you out of this mess.”
Wariness had crept into her expression. He sensed her distancing herself, bracing for a blow.
“Okay,” she said. “Talk. All of it this time, Cole. Tell me what you’ve been keeping from me.”
His secure cell phone chose that moment to blast a muted, buzzing demand for his attention. With a curse, he pulled it from his jeans pocket and checked the time on the display. He winced, then entered his password and menued through to the incoming text.
CHECK-IN MISSED. CONTACT, Dawson’s dictate read. NOW.
Stupid.
Were there any other stupid things Cole could do to blow this assignment? Because he’d hate to stop before he made every boneheaded, rookie mistake in the book.
“Stay here,” he said after grinding out another curse.
Damn it. All hell would break loose in Atlanta if he didn’t make contact in the next few minutes. He headed across the room.
“Lock the door,” he said, “and don’t open it unless you’re sure it’s me on the other side.”
Shaw rushed toward him, a cloud of snowy-white blanket wrapped around her. He caught her in his arms. The feel of her against him brought an instant of peace, then tightened his body to the breaking point.
“Tell me what’s going on,” she pleaded. “You can’t say what you did and leave me hanging. Tell me I can trust you, and that I’m not crazy.”
“You’re not crazy,” he said. “And I would die to protect you. After everything you’ve remembered, you have to believe that.”
She looked uncertain again. “What’s going on?”
“Something I couldn’t tell you about sooner.” He cupped her cheek the way he longed to have the right to do every day for the rest of their lives. “For the same reason I have to take this call—to keep you safe. Wait for me here. When I come back, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”