She knew better.
“Then when they found Sebastian’s body…?” she said.
“Your father and the sheriff showed up in my hospital room while the doctors were treating my burns and pumping me full of morphine. They accused me of intentionally setting the fire to get back at Sebastian for his latest perverted pastime—spying on us while we made love.”
Another piece of her brain’s shifting puzzle snapped into place.
“The memory I had in the study. You said it was my brother I was meeting.” She looked up. “I was terrified of him that day. But I can’t remember why.”
“He’d killed your cat.” Cole brought her hand to his mouth for another kiss.
This one, she felt to her soul as she recalled at once the horror of finding her beloved Siamese, Sasha, broken and bloodied, the wrenching shock and sadness of knowing Sebastian had tortured her, and then the gratitude she’d felt toward Cole. He’d kissed away her pain then, too. He’d promised to make her brother pay for his cruelty.
“That was the night before the fire,” Cole went on. “Sebastian and I were brawling by the time your father showed up in his office.”
“And Father threw you out of the house, instead of believing me about the cat.” The confrontation was now replaying in her mind like a fast-forwarding film clip, each image a precious discovery, but each one more horrifying than the last. “Sebastian said you’d pay for beating him to a bloody pulp.”
“And we both knew he meant he’d be coming for you as soon as I wasn’t there.”
“So you snuck into my room that night to watch over me.”
“Well, that wasn’t the only thing I did that night.” Cole’s devilish grin made her heart skip its next downbeat. She remembered that, too. How much she’d loved the unapologetic pleasure he took in her, and the even greater ecstasy of him showing her how to take from him in return. “But I did stick to you like glue, even the next day when you went to the barn to feed your horse.”
“Because we never knew when Sebastian would show up.” She closed her eyes, trying to remember the rest. But all she could see were the flames. “Was he waiting for us?”
“I don’t know.” Cole sounded furious with himself. Personal failure wasn’t something he’d accepted easily, even as a boy. “We made love. It was one of our favorite places. I caught him watching us, and we fought again. I don’t know where the flames came from. The fire spread quickly. One minute we were all in an empty stall and you were trying to get between us to break up the fight, the next we were trapped. I tried to get you to run. But you were paralyzed with fear. I picked you up to carry you away. By then, Sebastian was gone. I’m not ashamed to say I didn’t give a shit. And we didn’t have the time to search for him. All I could focus on was the fire getting closer, and if I didn’t get you out, we were both going to die.”
“So…” She forced her mind to settle, inhaling deeply and letting the breath and the memory out with the same calming flow. “You wrapped me in a horse blanket you ripped from the wall and carried me through the flames, protecting me with your own body.”
“Almost got away clean, too.” He shrugged again. No big deal. He’d simply walked through fire to save her, while she’d cowered in terror. “I stumbled and fell at the barn door. You rolled free. I was on my knees when the flames surged up and caught me. It was only a few seconds—”
“But instead of taking care of your injured back, you picked me up again and carried me all the way home.” The way he’d caught her close, putting himself between her and danger, several times in the last day.
The scars she’d seen were faded. But they had to have caused him agony at the time. He’d endured them, in order to shield her from harm.
And that wasn’t even the worst of it.
“I’d promised not to leave your side,” he said, clearly remembering how it had all ended.
She was remembering, too. “And you didn’t…not until my father gave you no other choice.”
“When he came to the hospital that day, he said you didn’t want to see me.”
“He wouldn’t let me come to you,” Shaw corrected.
It was the truth. She’d been under virtual house arrest. But she’d been such a coward, too. In shock and traumatized, she’d been too scared to leave her room, regardless of her father’s orders. Her brother was dead, and even though she’d grown to despise him, she’d been devastated. And selfish. She’d been too much of a child to pick herself up the way Cole had or to face her screwed-up world for what it was. And she’d paid the ultimate price for her weakness.