Starting over with someone else, someone she cared about and who cared about her…it could maybe help her heart heal. But…
“It sounds so tempting,” she said honestly. “But I can’t do it, Brad. It wouldn’t be fair to you or me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but what I had with…Cruz, even so brief…well, I don’t think I could feel that same way about you.”
“Good,” he said, not looking the least bit upset. Only earnest. “Because whatever you might have felt or still feel for that guy wasn’t anything to build a foundation on. It might have felt different, earth shaking even, but eventually that would have dissipated and you two would have been left with nothing but those old memories. You turned to him when you were hurting and in pain, and I don’t believe you ever would have looked at him twice if I hadn’t done what I did. I blame myself. But you and I, we’re alike. We both have meddlesome, overbearing parents, similar backgrounds, education, interests. Everything to build a solid foundation for a long-term relationship. Even a marriage.”
What is he doing? Is he asking me to marry him all over again?
Payton remembered the stomach-clenching pain she’d felt in those minutes after she left Cruz. Returning to her room, packing up, and then…she had waited for him. Hoped and feared that he’d knock on that door and try again. Make her see his way, anything. Just fight for her.
But he didn’t.
She’d boarded that flight, the pain excruciating, wondering how she’d ever feel anything again. Those hours on the plane had felt like the longest in her life.
Monday came and then Tuesday and Wednesday and she’d lay in bed watching her favorite romcoms and eating her weight in chocolate-covered cherries in between going through boxes of tissues for the constant flow of tears. She’d almost made it out once, to go pick up a new cell phone.
Then she thought about all the long hours that she’d spend staring at it. Willing it to ring. Willing Cruz to call and tell her he’d been an idiot and he’d move heaven and earth to be with her—she’d clearly been watching too many romcoms.
And when he didn’t, it would crush her all over again, that is if there were anything left to crush.
So she decided she liked her ignorant bliss. Of shutting out the world and hiding under the comfort of her duvet. Wondering if only she hadn’t put such a condition on Cruz, they might be together now. If she’d been more flexible. Then she put on one of her favorite Sandra Bullock flicks for the eighth time and cried some more.
Until Thursday came. And she realized she was done with changing anything in her life for anyone but herself. She needed to find out what exactly she wanted. Live for herself. No one else.
Even though she now woke up every day, her chest feeling almost ripped open again as the memories flooded back to her, she resolved to move on.
To forget.
She had to admit, what Brad was offering was tempting. New life. New memories. New adventures in a new city. And what he said made sense. About having the basic foundation of building something together—even if trust was still going to be a long time coming.#p#分页标题#e#
It would be so easy to say yes. Things would be fun and comfortable with Brad. But she’d be running away. Hiding herself in something that was only…second best. She could see that, and as tempting as that might be, it wouldn’t be right.
Sadly, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Brad. I just can’t.”
Cruz sat in his car another minute, unable to tear his gaze from the scene. Payton and Brad sitting on her couch, laughing together. Talking. Enjoying a celebratory glass of wine.
Obviously together.
It was like someone had dropped a load of bricks on him then sucker punched him just for the hell of it. He’d expected this, hadn’t he? So why was he so surprised?
Monday had been tough, arriving in Salt Lake alone and trying to get back to work. There’d been tons to do, people to talk to, and he’d been able to completely fill his day, barely having time to collapse into bed and repeat it all the next day. And the day after that. Until nearly a week had whizzed by and he’d barely had any time to think about what he left behind. The life he thought he was going to have.
Only tonight, he’d found himself aimlessly driving and before he knew it, he was outside her place, excited and terrified when he first saw her sitting alone on the couch through her open blinds. Something he’d been thinking he needed to warn her about, since she didn’t know the number of pervs out there.
Then Brad had joined her.
Cruz still didn’t know why he’d come here tonight, what he’d hoped for. He only knew that this past week he’d missed Payton with such savage intensity that he had needed to see her. See if maybe she still wanted to give this thing a shot. To tell her he’d been an idiot to let her get on that flight back home without him. For even letting her out the damn door.