“If someone told me to lick something else, is that okay?”
My heart stops beating and my throat goes instantly dry. I stand without thinking, reaching out for my brother. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mick straighten up.
The doctor tucks his clipboard under his arm, his voice revealing none of the panic that I’m feeling. “Well, that would depend on what it was, I guess. You can lick pretty much any food item, but that might be the limit as far as I’m concerned.”
Jersey looks off to the side, staring at the wall for his next question. “What about a cat poo? Would that be okay to lick?”
The doctor clears his throat. “Um, no. That would definitely not be okay to lick. There are lots of bacteria in cat poo.”
“Good,” says Jersey, getting down off the exam table, breathing a sigh of relief. “Cuz they taste pretty bad. I’m not going to do that ever again, either.” He holds out his hand. “I’m done now, Doctor Harper Harper Harper. Have a nice day.” After shaking the doctor’s hand, he leaves the room. The door remains open behind him.
I stand there frozen in place, my mouth hanging open. We don’t even own a fucking cat.
“I’m going to wait out there with Jersey,” Mick says, beating a hasty retreat.
I wish I could run out there with him, but I know I can’t. After the door shuts, I swallow with difficulty and try to speak. “Uhhh, Doc … gah … uh …”
He holds up a hand. “Listen … I know that no one in your family has asked your brother to lick … well, let’s just say … inappropriate things. But we need to keep in mind that he’s very vulnerable and still needs quite a bit of supervision. People take advantage of the weak.”
My face burns a deep red. “I know that. We all know that. Believe me, we live with it every day.”
“Hey, I don’t want you to feel like you have to watch him like a hawk, okay?” He bends at the waist a little and shoots me with his doe-brown laser beam eyes, making me want to cry. He’s too understanding to be a real doctor. “He needs to spread his wings a little and be out in the world on his own if he’s ever going to be independent. But let’s do this in baby steps, okay?”
“I don’t see why he needs to be independent at all. I think you guys are nuts.” I grab my purse and throw it over my shoulder, disgusted with the conversation already. Jersey is way too vulnerable to be independent. I’ve watch for twelve years while he’s been systematically been bullied, hurt, and manipulated by evil kids. I can only imagine what adults would do to him out in the real world.
“You don’t agree?”
“No. I don’t.” I’m more than irritated now. The holy mother of all cusswords is banging on the door of my mouth, begging to be let out. Man, it would feel soooo good, too.
“And what would you have us do?”
I throw up my arms. “I don’t know. Just … keep him busy and watched over.”
“Who’s going to do that? Your aging parents?”
“No.”
“You?”
I shrug, sticking my chin out in challenge. “Sure. Why not?”
“Because I assume one day you’re going to want to get married and have children of your own.”
“So? Jersey’s not going to stop that from happening.” I’m two seconds away from bobbing and weaving my head around in true home-girl fashion. Doc Harper has my back up now.
He presses his lips together and sighs. “You say that now… but you cannot possibly imagine how difficult it would be to raise a newborn with Jersey in the house.”
This is the first time I’ve ever been angry at the good doctor. I hate to think what he’s suggesting about my brother or me.
I walk over to the door and put my fingers on the handle before delivering my final parting shot. “Actually, I can imagine. I’ve been taking care of that cat-poo-licker his entire life. For twelve years. I’ve wiped his ass after he’s shit his pants during dinner, I’ve dressed him in clothes he hates and gotten a black eye for it, and I’ve watched over him and kept him out of trouble more hours than I could ever count, except for I guess that one time he licked cat shit. He’s my brother and my responsibility. I’ll make sure he’s fine, regardless of whether he’s ever independent, you can count on that.” I open the door and step out before the doctor has a chance to respond. I’m too pissed to debate Jersey’s issues right now. I just want to get home and forget this day ever happened. My mom is going to blow a major gasket when she hears about what Jersey said.